Expanding upon my monsters

[EngineGear]

I'm currently writing my story with these monsters as recurring antagonists. I need advice and feedback so I can better explain them properly.

In the world I'm writing, the Umbra Monstras are bloodthirsty, ravenous monsters driven by base instincts, inhabiting various parts of Aion and in their home dimension, Sombra Mundo. They are best described as "beings of entropy". They're partially inspired by the Grimm from RWBY, Curse Spirits from Jujutsu Kaisen, and Hollows from Bleach. They're classified into tiers.

Tier 1​

Also known as the Greenhorn Class, they are the weakest and least threatening Umbras. They can be easily defeated by your average adventurer, bounty hunter, huntsman, mercenary, and even trained civilians.

Tier 2​

Also known as the Juvenile Class, they are the slightly less weak Umbras. Student adventurers and huntsmen can engage these Umbras, but trained teams are required to fight off packs.

Tier 3​

Also known as the Disaster Class they are the more competent Umbras; usually larger. They can threaten an entire city. Adventurers-in-training tends to struggle with them; killing one is considered a rite of passage.

Tier 4​

Also known as the Titan Class, they can manifest during wars and natural disasters. If Adventurers-in-training at least one, they're ordered to flee on sight. Delta and Gamma-ranked adventurers are more capable to fight these creatures head-on.

Tier 5​

Also known as the Armageddon Class, they are the most powerful of Umbra and the most extremely rare, thankfully. If the Tier 4 Umbra are disaster-level threats, then these Umbras are potentially world-ending. Due to their rarity, not much is known about them. Only the most legendary of Beta and Alpha-ranked adventurers stand a chance against these monsters.

• Two things seem to attract them the most, Chaos and anything that relates to Fear.
• Adventurers must be stupidly brave or out of their minds to face even one.
• When they die, they leave behind bones.

Navibox/Umbra Monstras

radiant-cross-voyage.fandom.com

 

[Deleted member 58005]

Usually for even the Armageddon Class monsters in other stories, even the greatest of adventurers can't do shite against them. I really like the names for the classes too, as even Greenhorn sounds a bit frightening.

 

[Layenlml]

I feel that there is a really big jump from tier 2 to tier 3 but maybe that's because I assume that the cities have some kind of magic/protection that they can use againts them.

 

[Alfir]

How about the addition of a Tier Zero? I dunno, it sounds interesting... Call it Outlier Class... Just a suggestion, since there are also monsters out there that cannot be measured within the known logical scale, like their are very weird and wacky monsters just like the Cursed Wombs from Jujutsu Kaisen...

Let me guess, the bones of these monsters can be used to fashion weapons, artifacts and be used as ingredients for some fancy alchemy?
Having humanoid types Armageddon that doesn't follow the credo of size-is-all-what-matters sound nice too.

Hmmm... In terms of the monsters, I am picturing some furries, some fleshy abominations, reanimated objects, undead, ghosts, and a lot of psychotic behavior. If not psychotic, maybe possessing an extreme end of emotion. Yes, emotion instead of obsessions... Jujutsu Kaisen's monsters are a result of human obsession. This Umbra Monstra sounds like they feed on fear, so their personalities being a result of the amalgamation of the fear they consumed seem to add more flavor to your world's monster lore. More than feral, these monsters should be following a thought process unique to them, since they are not a collective species(If I get that right.).

 

[GlitchZetsumei]

Would be nice if there's one more tier above 5.
For example Tier Z.

A mutated variant of Armageddon Class that stands above all of them but in slumber or something.

 

[ThrillingHuman]

I'm currently writing my story with these monsters as recurring antagonists. I need advice and feedback so I can better explain them properly.

In the world I'm writing, the Umbra Monstras are bloodthirsty, ravenous monsters driven by base instincts, inhabiting various parts of Aion and in their home dimension, Sombra Mundo. They are best described as "beings of entropy". They're partially inspired by the Grimm from RWBY, Curse Spirits from Jujutsu Kaisen, and Hollows from Bleach. They're classified into tiers.

Tier 1​

Also known as the Greenhorn Class, they are the weakest and least threatening Umbras. They can be easily defeated by your average adventurer, bounty hunter, huntsman, mercenary, and even trained civilians.

Tier 2​

Also known as the Juvenile Class, they are the slightly less weak Umbras. Student adventurers and huntsmen can engage these Umbras, but trained teams are required to fight off packs.

Tier 3​

Also known as the Disaster Class they are the more competent Umbras; usually larger. They can threaten an entire city. Adventurers-in-training tends to struggle with them; killing one is considered a rite of passage.

Tier 4​

Also known as the Titan Class, they can manifest during wars and natural disasters. If Adventurers-in-training at least one, they're ordered to flee on sight. Delta and Gamma-ranked adventurers are more capable to fight these creatures head-on.

Tier 5​

Also known as the Armageddon Class, they are the most powerful of Umbra and the most extremely rare, thankfully. If the Tier 4 Umbra are disaster-level threats, then these Umbras are potentially world-ending. Due to their rarity, not much is known about them. Only the most legendary of Beta and Alpha-ranked adventurers stand a chance against these monsters.

• Two things seem to attract them the most, Chaos and anything that relates to Fear.
• Adventurers must be stupidly brave or out of their minds to face even one.
• When they die, they leave behind bones.

Navibox/Umbra Monstras

radiant-cross-voyage.fandom.com

I can't say I like this approach. It's too linear and straightforward. It could use more of a rock-paper-scissors mechanic, with some monsters being bad for certain things but otherwise harmless or some monsters being very harmless but having strange and not easily forseen consequences of their presence.
Since they have a dimension of their own, there should be some kind of unique ecology, so you could draw parallels with Earth ecology. You could make their presence more of a thread by having them disturb the local ecology and making it unliveable. Monster plants that cause structures to rust and make the land toxic, fish that disturb the local ecology and create severe food shortages but aren't hostile otherwise, predators that eat insects and cause famines - there's so much that could be added.
"Your adventurers can slaughter those elephant-like monsters that 911'd your city? Pfff, so what? There were but a distraction, the real threat was the algae in your water supply that has already taken root in your local ecosystem! Good luck trying to clean the place of that without killing off your native life! "
" K-kuso! We will not give upxl, Sombra! We have the Power of Friendship (tm) on our side! "


Otherwise, having some evil creatures come from literally another dimension and just have them be some kind of monster of the week type of deal is way too boring

 

[EngineGear]

Hmmm... In terms of the monsters, I am picturing some furries, some fleshy abominations, reanimated objects, undead, ghosts, and a lot of psychotic behavior. If not psychotic, maybe possessing an extreme end of emotion. Yes, emotion instead of obsessions... Jujutsu Kaisen's monsters are a result of human obsession. This Umbra Monstra sounds like they feed on fear, so their personalities being a result of the amalgamation of the fear they consumed seem to add more flavor to your world's monster lore. More than feral, these monsters should be following a thought process unique to them, since they are not a collective species(If I get that right.).

The Umbra's defining feature is their redding-orange skin and armor platting. For example:
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/r...ipactli.png/revision/latest?cb=20211229050227

 

[Gryphon]

Like is the only thing seperating them their destructive power? Why not expand on it a bit. How about tier 1 only ever does hand combat as in claw and bite strikes, then tier 2 begins using projectiles, tier 3 projectiles are larger than tier 2, tier 4 can actively control the projectiles, and tier 5 projectiles have additional affects. Something kind of like that.

Or even better, the stronger they are, the more intelligent they become. Like tier 1 is nothing but a beast and tier 5 has intelligence towering above even the smartest of humans. Something like that.

 

[EngineGear]

Let me guess, the bones of these monsters can be used to fashion weapons, artifacts and be used as ingredients for some fancy alchemy?

Something like that, but most of the time, they are trophies.

 

[2021]

How about the addition of a Tier Zero? I dunno, it sounds interesting... Call it Outlier Class... Just a suggestion, since there are also monsters out there that cannot be measured within the known logical scale, like their are very weird and wacky monsters just like the Cursed Wombs from Jujutsu Kaisen...

Let me guess, the bones of these monsters can be used to fashion weapons, artifacts and be used as ingredients for some fancy alchemy?
Having humanoid types Armageddon that doesn't follow the credo of size-is-all-what-matters sound nice too.

Hmmm... In terms of the monsters, I am picturing some furries, some fleshy abominations, reanimated objects, undead, ghosts, and a lot of psychotic behavior. If not psychotic, maybe possessing an extreme end of emotion. Yes, emotion instead of obsessions... Jujutsu Kaisen's monsters are a result of human obsession. This Umbra Monstra sounds like they feed on fear, so their personalities being a result of the amalgamation of the fear they consumed seem to add more flavor to your world's monster lore. More than feral, these monsters should be following a thought process unique to them, since they are not a collective species(If I get that right.).

Or creatures who are too weak to be measured, or don’t fit the norm.

Because I don’t think high ranking water-based creatures would be much on land

 

[Alfir]

The Umbra's defining feature is their redding-orange skin and armor platting. For example:
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/r...ipactli.png/revision/latest?cb=20211229050227

I have seen it. Excluding the color scheme, its aesthetic reminds me of Twin Star Exorcist, good anime by the way. You can also draw inspiration from it, the 'kegare' in it or monsters as we call it, are creatures born from negative emotions. They live in another world, a mirror realm of ours. Interestingly, this kegares also feed on fear, it resembles your premise quite a lot but except of adventurers, TSE have exorcist and it's setting is the modern Japan.

Speaking of exorcists, Blue Exorcist would also be a good source material for inspiration, so as how to progress plot with the monster's involvement.

To expand your monster class, I think basing it from fish, mammals, birds, reptiles, and amphibians will be nice.

You can also try creating a monsterpedia. Just write your imagined monster, and describe them to three to five sentences. I am writing my own monsterpedia too. After every chapter, I sneak in a trivia highlighting a monster with their description. It adds to the word count and further expands the world building in a sneaky and consistent manner.

In fact, I also write about biomes and character profiles which I alternately stuff at the end of my chapter.