Do you like this?

[ThisAdamGuy]

The chapter I'm currently writing has the hero encountering an iron battle golem. It's basically Robocop running Terminator software. I wanted to get across how its voice sounds really unnatural, and this is what I ended up using. Do you like it, or is it just annoying?

“I N T R U D E R…D E T E C T E D...” it said in a deep, slow voice that was half metal screeching against metal, and half the roar of flames from within a blacksmith's forge. It stepped forward, its iron feet clanking loudly against the floor. The fiery orange light of magic shone from between the gaps in its joints. It resembled a suit of armor that was almost big enough to fit a giant, but every time it moved, the sound of grinding gears filled the store. “S E C U R I T Y…P R O T O C A L S…I N I T I A T E D…”

 

[Sarandib]

I think the spacing and full capitalization of the letters is gimmicky. It comes off as amateur. It's also redundant, because you describe it as a "deep, slow voice that was half metal screeching against metal". It would be better to let your description of the golem's voice speak for itself.
Get rid of the ellipses. They aren't doing anything.
"Between the gaps in its joints" does not make sense. Isn't the light shining out of the gaps?
Try and get rid of filler words when possible (from within the blacksmith's forge is redundant, just say from).

“Intruder detected,” it said in a deep, slow voice that was half metal screeching against metal, half the roar of a blacksmith's forge. It stepped forward, iron feet clanking loudly against the floor. Fiery orange light shone from the gaps in its joints. The golem resembled a suit of armor nearly massive enough to fit a giant, and every time it moved the sound of grinding gears filled the store.
"Security protocols initiated."

 

[MasterY001]

What I did for my computers was made the text italics and green. It is a bit gimmicky, but as a reader, I wouldn't mind a few gimmicks

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Maybe just Intruder. Detected. Security. Protocols. Engaged.
Make each word stand out as its own sentence, and reinforce the "depth" with bold text instead of all-caps?

 

[Supperset]

????

 

[soupsabaw]

As a reader, I'm not turned away by caps when it's from a computerized system; I don't like it for characters since that's what exclamation marks are for, but when it's a computer or robot or the like, it's fine. For characters, it's corny to me and throws my reading off a bit. It's fine here, but the spacing and ellipses throw me off. To add the scary emphasis you're looking for, I think you should either do this:

Maybe just Intruder. Detected. Security. Protocols. Engaged.
Make each word stand out as its own sentence, and reinforce the "depth" with bold text instead of all-caps?

with the one word sentences and bolded or just do one word sentences and all caps. I think either of those are most appealing.

 

[zephyrtrillian]

What I did for my computers was made the text italics and green. It is a bit gimmicky, but as a reader, I wouldn't mind a few gimmicks

This. I like this. We live in the modern era. We can do fancy stuff. Fancy stuff is fun. I recommend fancy stuff. It's unique.