Discussion on Writing Styles

[Story_Marc]

Go for it

If I judge it purely by web novel standards, it's okay. I don't consider the bar there all that high. You only need readability and to fulfill genre expectations. If you can hit that bare minimum and pick popular topics, you can garner attention if attention is your top concern.

If I examine things using more rigorous standards and wish to grow as a storyteller, I would assess it as glaringly inexperienced.

I found the story somewhat disjointed, with abrupt transitions that make it challenging to follow. The connections between scenes could be smoother to improve the overall flow. Additionally, the dialogue is melodramatic, reminiscent of an overly theatrical, comically inept high school play. This can detract from the believability of the characters and their interactions.

The chapter's tone is inconsistent, making it hard to get a sense of the intended atmosphere. Some descriptions also feel awkward and could be refined for things like impact.

One central area for improvement is the characterization. Currently, the characters feel surface-level, with over-the-top reactions and roles that come across as stereotypical. This makes the story feel more like a cartoonish caricature of anime.