Description aid

[Representing_Tromba]

I am having some issues with descriptors. Specifically, I have too many words and need to condense some of them. However, my issues lie with the shortened descriptors as they seem rather rude or unprofessional. For example, there are two short and rounded muscular men but I feel like calling them squat racks would be sufficient. Any thoughts?

 

[owotrucked]

I slap a picture and call it a day

Man, I love being helpful

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

Call them Squat Jocks, it at least sounds a bit more dignified.

 

[Rhaps]

For characters you feels are important, give a detailed description.

For characters you want to use to build the world, point out a specific behavior or a certain feature.

For characters that are just background characters, one or two descriptors.

At least that's how I do it.

 

[Agentt]

Using too many words is always a beauty. Very rarely it is possible to overdo it unless the said characters are doing something. If you are just introducing them, then feel free to write as much as you want; slap in their backstory to explain why the big brother has a scar on his cheek; go on a tangent to talk about that one friend of yours who also had a scar on his cheek because that devil would refuse to put down that knife. Like, that child always had a pocket knife on him. He probably stole his father's or saved up some pocket money. He would get so excited as soon someone would mention anything related to a knife, like a middle-school student volunteering to clean the blackboard in a classroom, he would always rush in with his knife.

Of course, you can't do this if there is an action scene going on or someone is talking.

Squat racks is a wonderful term to use in the aforementioned situation,

 

[georgelee5786]

Use fancier words that mean that same thing

 

[Representing_Tromba]

Use fancier words that mean that same thing

That's what I'm trying to do.

 

[Empyrea]

If it's comical, you could always say that a bodybuilder performed mitosis. There are two of them right?

 

[greyblob]

I am having some issues with descriptors. Specifically, I have too many words and need to condense some of them. However, my issues lie with the shortened descriptors as they seem rather rude or unprofessional. For example, there are two short and rounded muscular men but I feel like calling them squat racks would be sufficient. Any thoughts?

depends on the tone. is the narration supposed to be sarcastic/sassy? descriptions mirror the narrator. who's narrating the scene and how would they describe it? in the example above i imagined a sassy teenager talking.
if it's not a personalized narration, i guess you could do whatever you want, though it'd greatly affect the overall tone.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

depends on the tone. is the narration supposed to be sarcastic/sassy? descriptions mirror the narrator. who's narrating the scene and how would they describe it? in the example above i imagined a sassy teenager talking.
if it's not a personalized narration, i guess you could do whatever you want, though it'd greatly affect the overall tone.

That makes a lot of sense.

If it's comical, you could always say that a bodybuilder performed mitosis. There are two of them right?

lol

 

[georgelee5786]

That's what I'm trying to do.

Would drawing parallels, like comparing their height to something generally small, work?

 

[Representing_Tromba]

Would drawing parallels, like comparing their height to something generally small, work?

Perhaps in certain parts.

 

[J_Chemist]

I like to use descriptors to supplement my world building. Are there squat racks in your character world? Then sure, describe them as gym rats. But if there is no gym or anything of the sort, maybe utilize a comparison to a beast or animal of the region might be a better choice.

Having too much description is certainly something to stay away from as your reader will just get glossy eyed and you'll lose them, but fancy words don't always make the sentence better. Sometimes the simple descriptors are enough because we all understand them and can visualize them quickly. Round, boxy, large, small, jacked, lean. Colors and markings like scars, bruises, and indents. While stacking them up makes it very blocky and drawn out, simple terms remove the need for a reader to either find a dictionary or scratch their head over what you've said as they try to put the pieces together.

No, it's not the prettiest thing nor does it make it seem like you have an extensive vocabulary, but unless you're trying to flex your vocab it's not really something to be stressed over. In addition, some of those other, fancier words all have more specific definitions that might not quite fit what you're trying to describe. It may come across as a better fit because it's a higher "tier" word but someone who knows what the word means will stumble over it should it not actually work in the context you're using it.

Keep a thesaurus handy and throw a few words into it. Go down the rabbit hole a little and that generally does the trick for me. Just don't go too deep or you'll end up further away than the original word.

Edit: Also, just to add; less descriptors might actually take away from the end goal as well. While it may be more efficient, you might accidentally leave out imagery that the reader won't understand. Like for your muscle men. Saying they have muscles is a simple task but taking that extra sentence to describe how ripped they are will put that stronger image in the reader's mind.

 

[RavenRunes]

What about oaken barrels. Or just keep it simple. Bullish and heavy-set is fine

 

[greyblob]

continuing from above, the less words the better. if you can sufficiently describe something in 4 words instead of 10, well that's fantastic. though you might not always want to be concise.

for example: if you have two characters, an experienced and a novice solider, each would view death differently. if they both shot an enemy, each would experience things differently.

the experienced solider would quickly glance at the corpse and confirm it's state. he'd seen it a hunderd times before. no need to think too much of it. the description would be short and concise.
to the novice solider, this is a new experience. he'd notice much more details and have a much more vivid account.

these subtle techniques are often used and go by unnoticed all the time. it adds more depth and character to the work.

 

[melchi]

What about oaken barrels. Or just keep it simple. Bullish and heavy-set is fine

This is about what I was thinking too.

Short barrel chested man. Or stout thick-boned bodied man. Perhaps a squat man with a dwarf-like frame. Or a short man with broad shoulders, thick arms and short legs.