TheEldritchGod
A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2021
- Messages
- 3,445
- Points
- 183
I'm currently dealing with three 16 hour shifts. We had a bunch of call ins this weekend and I'm coving for three of the shifts so, whee. It's why I haven't responded. A correction. Richard has two years ago. I could spend an hour explaining that f'ed up situation alone.
Now that I've had to sober up for work, I realize I've been just a pain the previous four days to everyone, which is why I think I made the global post, because I'm not sure who I was being rude too. Honestly not sure about the details. last night a guy I knew, let's call him Farty, because we all did, got one of my emails and smacked me upside the head like I needed. Every once in a while I get into one of these tailspins, usually about this time of year.
I should have been more specific, I suppose and not vented so much.
Richard's account is still active for two years now. The app I used to talk to him is still there, so it's like there's this ghost where I have the transcript of our last conversation and I can keep adding to it. You spend four years talking someone out of killing themselves and when they finally get their life turned around, they get out of the bad situation and you think they finally have it turned around, they go dark and you find out they finally caught that train they kept thinking about. Whenever he talked about memorizing train schedules I knew there was a problem.
Last Post. I keep reading it. I keep wondering, what did I miss. And the answer is, nothing. He locked me out of his life because if he let me know there was a problem, I'd talk him out of it again. Every once in a while I log in and text him again. Just "ping". Just... I dunno. In case he comes back from the dead, I guess. Not healthy, but... I'm stuck. I'm stuck waiting for a reply from some dead kid who's been in the ground for over two years now.
Thanks for the well wishes. I'm not fishing here. I'm fine. I'm always fine. I'm indestructible. Sometimes I just wish I could have a WIN. I really need a WIN. Not for me, mind you. hard to explain.
Sorry to off load this on everyone. You guys are cool. I hope you all know that. Can't say there's honestly someone here I don't like. Hope you all have a merry Christmas and don't let a grumpy guy like me get you down. Just... feeling unmoored. I'll make it back to port soon enough.
Now that I've had to sober up for work, I realize I've been just a pain the previous four days to everyone, which is why I think I made the global post, because I'm not sure who I was being rude too. Honestly not sure about the details. last night a guy I knew, let's call him Farty, because we all did, got one of my emails and smacked me upside the head like I needed. Every once in a while I get into one of these tailspins, usually about this time of year.
I should have been more specific, I suppose and not vented so much.
Richard's account is still active for two years now. The app I used to talk to him is still there, so it's like there's this ghost where I have the transcript of our last conversation and I can keep adding to it. You spend four years talking someone out of killing themselves and when they finally get their life turned around, they get out of the bad situation and you think they finally have it turned around, they go dark and you find out they finally caught that train they kept thinking about. Whenever he talked about memorizing train schedules I knew there was a problem.
Last Post. I keep reading it. I keep wondering, what did I miss. And the answer is, nothing. He locked me out of his life because if he let me know there was a problem, I'd talk him out of it again. Every once in a while I log in and text him again. Just "ping". Just... I dunno. In case he comes back from the dead, I guess. Not healthy, but... I'm stuck. I'm stuck waiting for a reply from some dead kid who's been in the ground for over two years now.
Thanks for the well wishes. I'm not fishing here. I'm fine. I'm always fine. I'm indestructible. Sometimes I just wish I could have a WIN. I really need a WIN. Not for me, mind you. hard to explain.
Sorry to off load this on everyone. You guys are cool. I hope you all know that. Can't say there's honestly someone here I don't like. Hope you all have a merry Christmas and don't let a grumpy guy like me get you down. Just... feeling unmoored. I'll make it back to port soon enough.