Corty's Feedback Corner (Kinda... Read the first post!) --- Open until further notice.

[Corty]

After 2 years of sitting on my bum, I'm back open for business.

Note:

I'll be honest, so don't get offended.

 

[Alski]

I'll be honest, so don't get offended.

Im already offended on behalf of all the people.

 

[AliceMoonvale]

I'll be honest, so don't get offended.

Have at it.
This Is How I Lived

 

[Corty]

Have at it.
This Is How I Lived

tl;dr:

• Needs fixes

Cover and synopsis are great, I like them, wouldn't change them. But what it needs is more tags; it helps discoverability. Certainly fill it up with 15 at least, if not the full 25.

Then the chapter titles. Readers will skim over them when noticing the chapter on the front page. Full-text chapter titles are the worst option, because the eyes stop and register numbers without really thinking about it. Seeing Chapter 30 tells more to the average reader how many chapters are in there to binge than "Page Thirty." Most of the time, they won't even register the latter and move on, without ever stopping to click.

Otherwise, it's cool.

 

[AliceMoonvale]

tl;dr:

• Needs fixes

Cover and synopsis are great, I like them, wouldn't change them. But what it needs is more tags; it helps discoverability. Certainly fill it up with 15 at least, if not the full 25.

Then the chapter titles. Readers will skim over them when noticing the chapter on the front page. Full-text chapter titles are the worst option, because the eyes stop and register numbers without really thinking about it. Seeing Chapter 30 tells more to the average reader how many chapters are in there to binge than "Page Thirty." Most of the time, they won't even register the latter and move on, without ever stopping to click.

Otherwise, it's cool.

Amen. I could try and add extra tags, but for the titles, I chose aesthetic cohesion to reinforce the diary illusion.
Thankies.

 

[c37]

After 2 years of sitting on my bum, I'm back open for business.

Note:

I'll be honest, so don't get offended.

Mine please This is my book.

 

[Corty]

This is my book.

bad link, it opens to dashboard

 

[c37]

bad link, it opens to dashboard

ohh... my bad. Here you go, My book. :)

 

[Corty]

ohh... my bad. Here you go, My book. :)

tl;dr:

• Needs fixes

Cover needs work, at first glance, and especially if it's small, like when on the front page after you post a chapter, it turns into a mush of colors. Nothing that would be noticeable or catch the eye, just red and blue blobs of color.

Put the warnings from the opening of the synopsis to the end of it, and separate it with something, signifying that those are the author's notes. The synopsis itself feels too generic. Well, when I say generic, I mean demons, archdevils, and Eldari. You can unify it into beings of Abaddon, telling about how their creatures are dangerous, evil, etc. Because naming them means nothing much for a new reader, and starts to force my mind to simply skip over it. If they are just beings of Abaddon or demons of Abaddon, etc, etc, it would be more interesting to want to find out what those even mean.

Tags and chapter titles are ok

 

[Daeron]

Hi, if you don't mind, please review my work here. I just recently rewrite some parts of this story, including the pace and chapters length.

ad finem amore

 

[Corty]

Hi, if you don't mind, please review my work here. I just recently rewrite some parts of this story, including the pace and chapters length.

ad finem amore

I guess you haven't read my first post.

tl;dr:

• Its good

I will only mention what I would fix; the cover and synopsis are okay, same with the tags. But the chapter titles need work, because I will always stand with the standard format. It is a reason why it's the standard:

Chapter 1 - Subtitle

Anything else is not for webnovels.

 

[Daeron]

I guess you haven't read my first post.

tl;dr:

• Its good

I will only mention what I would fix; the cover and synopsis are okay, same with the tags. But the chapter titles need work, because I will always stand with the standard format. It is a reason why it's the standard:

Chapter 1 - Subtitle

Anything else is not for webnovels.

Thank you! I already fixed the chapter titles.

For synopsis, 'okay' here is too generic or too abstract?

 

[Corty]

For synopsis, 'okay' here is too generic or too abstract?

It felt fine, maybe separate the last part where its you, as the author, telling about what type of book it is, with a line and a sign that the following is author notes.

 

[c37]

tl;dr:

• Needs fixes

Cover needs work, at first glance, and especially if it's small, like when on the front page after you post a chapter, it turns into a mush of colors. Nothing that would be noticeable or catch the eye, just red and blue blobs of color.

Put the warnings from the opening of the synopsis to the end of it, and separate it with something, signifying that those are the author's notes. The synopsis itself feels too generic. Well, when I say generic, I mean demons, archdevils, and Eldari. You can unify it into beings of Abaddon, telling about how their creatures are dangerous, evil, etc. Because naming them means nothing much for a new reader, and starts to force my mind to simply skip over it. If they are just beings of Abaddon or demons of Abaddon, etc, etc, it would be more interesting to want to find out what those even mean.

Tags and chapter titles are ok

Removed few words from the description and attached the warning below the synopsis, i will work on the cover later when i get my drawing pad back. Thank you for taking a look at my book! .

 

[Sylver]

Hi @Corty ! I'd love it if you could provide feedback on my story based on the five points you mentioned!

 

[Fairemont]

Is this my chance to make Corty look at something Ive created!?

The Secret Lives of Magical Girls

Under constant threat by malevolent forces bleeding through the fabric of reality, the world must turn to divine guardians chosen by the heavens: magical girls. These young women rise to the occasion and fend off the vile monsters seeking to corrupt and consume all of humanity, but there is...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Corty]

Hi @Corty ! I'd love it if you could provide feedback on my story based on the five points you mentioned!

Wouldn't change a thing

• Its good

The only "issue" is the same thing I am suffering from, having too long book name to put well onto the cover. Its hard to read, maybe some play with the colors could help, but I know that struggle so... yeah. Besides that, I think it's good, tags and chapter titling, etc.

Is this my chance to make Corty look at something Ive created!?

The Secret Lives of Magical Girls

Under constant threat by malevolent forces bleeding through the fabric of reality, the world must turn to divine guardians chosen by the heavens: magical girls. These young women rise to the occasion and fend off the vile monsters seeking to corrupt and consume all of humanity, but there is...

www.scribblehub.com

Same as @Sylver

• Its good

I have nothing to add, but if there is something that I would change is making the synopsis flow a bit better, but that is just my personal thing, because I write in long sentences. Example:

"[...] while ensuring that no one discovers who she is, certainly takes a toll. Fortunately, she is not alone. She has friends, rivals, and comrades to rely on when it gets to be too much."

I would merge the red part:

"[...] while ensuring that no one discovers who she is, certainly takes a toll. Fortunately, she is not alone, because she has friends, rivals, and comrades alike to rely on when it gets to be too much."

But that's just me and how I like reading/writing, so it's only a tip, not a criticism.

 

[Sylver]

Wouldn't change a thing

• Its good

Thank you, O wise and powerful Corty!
*bows out of respect*

The only "issue" is the same thing I am suffering from, having too long book name to put well onto the cover. Its hard to read, maybe some play with the colors could help, but I know that struggle so... yeah. Besides that, I think it's good, tags and chapter titling, etc.

Ah yea it's hard to read cuz of the small size we have on the site for the cover image, but maybe changing the colors would help like you suggested. I love the cover, courtesy of an amazing artist and friend

Hm, I don't know how to shorten the title itself. It use to be longer but I will keep that in mind. Thank you for your feedback!