why would the demon hordes have to waste their time and energy fighting us anyways. if they just hang around making themselves available, our women will start writing "romance" and "fantasy" books about getting captured and "taken" against their "will".
husband: I want a divorce. I think you've been unfaithful to me
wife: see, he's paranoid. can't you do something with him?
therapist: well, your wife has a point, sir.
husband: my so called son? Has bat wings! He sh!ts fire, lady! I need a fire extinguisher to change his diaper!
wife: I heard that just happens sometimes, it doesn't mean anything.
therapist: happy wife, happy life. you have to forgive people.
husband: our son? skinned the dog alive, and roasted him over a fire. Before eating him!
wife: see? see? he punched our son! he held him under the water in the swimming pool!
therapist: violence is never the answer. what are you teaching your son.
husband: this is what happens while I'm away fighting the forces of evil? I got third degree burns and a pitchfork thru my guts!
husband : (punches wife, kicks therapist, runs out and files for divorce)
somewhere far away, a young guy knocks on a large castle door.
"Yes?"
"Hi. Is this... Hell, Pennsylvania?"
"Yes. It is. "
"Are you... Baphomet, demon lord?"
"I'm nine feet tall, red skin, with a bull's head. You do the math. Why do you ask, anyways."
"I got a package. You have to sign for it."
"Oh. My amazon must have arrived early..... *scribble*"
(man runs away, laughing)
"You've been served!"
(demon lord opens the letter)
(he's been served. child support. half of everything he owns.)
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Nooooooooooo!"
Finally, the lord of all demons? Learns the true meaning, of fear.
He flees, never to return again.
(cut to day care)
daycare worker: ma'am? we need to talk. your son? ate one of the other children.
ex-wife: oh, he does that. its just a phase.
daycare worker: yeah. I don't think we can handle him. we refuse to have him here. Please leave.
ex-wife: what are you, racist or something?
(daycare takes him back. he eats more children. what can you do, though. Kids)
(ex-wife gets driven off in a limosine)
(ex wife taps furiously on her phone.)
somewhere, a guy looks at her Tinder account.
"Hi, I'm Lisa. I'm financially stable. My @$$ho!3 ex-husband abandoned his wife and child, he's worthless. I enjoy staying at home, reading, and cooking. I'm looking for a nice guy, to settle down with. I have a little boy. He's the sweetest thing ever, he's everything to me. Swipe right, if you can handle responsibility. I need a real man."
