Bullying in Fiction

[dummycake]

@Garon , @Fox-Trot-9 , and everyone else
I'm sorry for what happened to you and I hope this thread helped you a little bit, even if my intention was just to get mad at the wind blowing a different direction.
I hope you are healed today and I wish you all the best, I know your pain.

In middle school I was bullied from a kid running everywhere to a quiet, shy, and introvert boy who when asked if he was being bullied he denied, because he himself didn't want to admit.
In high school, it was a new city with new people, which was terrifying for me, and in the first day it was already obvious that I was the nerd.
It got worse, even more because I noticed what was happening and I was already getting deeper into my depression.
I can't use my fingers to count the times I thought about blowing up that school.
It did get better eventually, I started taking new medicine, I started going out and making friends, some classmates even helped me come out of my shell and the bullying just vanished.
But then COVID hit and I never got the chance to properly finish my teenage years... I was going so well hahaha

Anyway, I hope you guys are better now, love you all.

 

[So_Indecisive]

Isn't this also down to cultural differences?
If I recall correctly, bullying is different in the EU than it is in Asia - with Asia being the more vicious one, due to the more competitive nature of their society.
Not telling most stories doesn't lose nuance when depicting bullying but from my time in school... Yeah. Personal property was destroyed and people did get beat up for standing up for themselves.
Of course, there was more to it, but for a throwaway line, it works just fine.

That said, I have always found the way American comedies and teen movies depict bullying to be nonsensical for the most part. I think a lot of people take inspiration from those avenues as they are the more prevalent in Western culture.

Yeah I find the bullies present in American media quite excessive, it's frankly stupid.

I'm African and the bullies I came across in elementary, junior secondary and senior secondary school had one thing in common, it was never for laughs, they were all terrifyingly ambitious for kids.
Now the kind of power being a bully gave you made life all the more convenient, you pay for the bullies snacks and meals, if anyone sent them on errands you'd do it for them and anything they needed done was carried out by their victims. It was basically unpaid labour rewarded with violence.

The beautiful thing about this however is that the cage isn't so thick as to let the bullies have full power over you ( Unless they were about 3-4 years older which frankly at that point you could only avoid them) All you needed was violence, it didn't matter if you couldn't win, a broken nose, bruises all that stuff is superfluous all you need to do is bite back and like the dogs they were they'd flee.

It's a lesson I learnt late but I'm grateful I learnt none the less. It was my final year of Junior secondary (basically middle school) and the fights were glorious. I lost more than I won but people tend to not mess with you when you've set a precedent for breaking noses without remorse. It did a lot of good for my confidence.

 

[Indicterra]

I had the shit beat out of me about once a week, on average. Sometimes more, sometimes it'd go a few weeks without a beating. About 10 years. in 11th grade, they didn't beat me as much, but they like to play games like spitting on me, and I had to keep score and tell them at the end of the day who won. In 12th grade, most of them graduated, so it was only 3 on 1. I beat the ever-living shit out of them. that summer, when they came back from college, Brian Place took a baseball bat and six of his friends to beat me into a coma.

He was the son of the town sheriff, so I was told I was lucky they weren't pressing charges against ME.

I used to be quite the artist, but after that last beating, I can't draw a straight line anymore. My hand trembles too much.

Met one of the kids who beat the crap out of me about 20 years later out of the blue. He started talking to me about the "good old days". When I told him he and his friends left me for dead, he said he thought I was faking. He didn't know I was in a coma for a day and a half. He didn't remember the baseball bat, and he thought it was all "just boys being boys".

Yes. The bully often thinks it's all a joke.

The funny thing is, he never said he was sorry, even after I told him exactly what happened. He just mumbled a lot, made an excuse, and left. Not that I expect an apology. Bullies don't do that. Even if they figure it out later, they just kinda push it out of their mind and move on. People like to remember the good things and forget the bad. Honestly, it's been over 35 years. I think Brian dropped dead at age 40. Can't remember any of the others, so the chances are they are just like what's his face and pushed it out of their minds before moving on with their lives.

Oh, don't feel too bad for me.
After I went to college, I took all that rage and became a bill collector and worked for several banks over the years. I made it my life's mission to make people feel just as bad as I did. I assure you, I ruined FAR MORE LIVES than Brian and his posse ever did. I made it my life's mission to torture people, and getting paid a commission for it was just icing on the cake.

Being a bully and torturing people was fun. Nobody cares about the weak and we are all alone in this world. Either give up and die where you fall, or get up and be even stronger than the ones that tortured you. That's what Brian taught me. I was better at it than anyone else. Oh, I was very good. I got stories for days I could share about the ways I made people suffer, all without breaking the law. That made it so much more fun. having limits just made I like a video game set on hard mode.

Eventually, I realized I was evil and stopped, but not before I spent about 15 years ruining people's lives, costing them their homes, cars, jobs, money, and defiling one guy's mother's grave (that last one is a funny story, let me tell you). After all, being unable to make friends or relate to people made it hard to have any empathy for other people. I mean, nobody cared when I got the shit beat out of me. Not the teachers, not my fellow students, nobody. I just figured that's the way the world was. I wasn't a bully.

I was just ahead of the curve.

...

I guess I'm curious.
So, @Indicterra, What do you think the person you bullied learned from you?

I had the shit beat out of me about once a week, on average. Sometimes more, sometimes it'd go a few weeks without a beating. About 10 years. in 11th grade, they didn't beat me as much, but they like to play games like spitting on me, and I had to keep score and tell them at the end of the day who won. In 12th grade, most of them graduated, so it was only 3 on 1. I beat the ever-living shit out of them. that summer, when they came back from college, Brian Place took a baseball bat and six of his friends to beat me into a coma.

He was the son of the town sheriff, so I was told I was lucky they weren't pressing charges against ME.

I used to be quite the artist, but after that last beating, I can't draw a straight line anymore. My hand trembles too much.

Met one of the kids who beat the crap out of me about 20 years later out of the blue. He started talking to me about the "good old days". When I told him he and his friends left me for dead, he said he thought I was faking. He didn't know I was in a coma for a day and a half. He didn't remember the baseball bat, and he thought it was all "just boys being boys".

Yes. The bully often thinks it's all a joke.

The funny thing is, he never said he was sorry, even after I told him exactly what happened. He just mumbled a lot, made an excuse, and left. Not that I expect an apology. Bullies don't do that. Even if they figure it out later, they just kinda push it out of their mind and move on. People like to remember the good things and forget the bad. Honestly, it's been over 35 years. I think Brian dropped dead at age 40. Can't remember any of the others, so the chances are they are just like what's his face and pushed it out of their minds before moving on with their lives.

Oh, don't feel too bad for me.
After I went to college, I took all that rage and became a bill collector and worked for several banks over the years. I made it my life's mission to make people feel just as bad as I did. I assure you, I ruined FAR MORE LIVES than Brian and his posse ever did. I made it my life's mission to torture people, and getting paid a commission for it was just icing on the cake.

Being a bully and torturing people was fun. Nobody cares about the weak and we are all alone in this world. Either give up and die where you fall, or get up and be even stronger than the ones that tortured you. That's what Brian taught me. I was better at it than anyone else. Oh, I was very good. I got stories for days I could share about the ways I made people suffer, all without breaking the law. That made it so much more fun. having limits just made I like a video game set on hard mode.

Eventually, I realized I was evil and stopped, but not before I spent about 15 years ruining people's lives, costing them their homes, cars, jobs, money, and defiling one guy's mother's grave (that last one is a funny story, let me tell you). After all, being unable to make friends or relate to people made it hard to have any empathy for other people. I mean, nobody cared when I got the shit beat out of me. Not the teachers, not my fellow students, nobody. I just figured that's the way the world was. I wasn't a bully.

I was just ahead of the curve.

...

I guess I'm curious.
So, @Indicterra, What do you think the person you bullied learned from you?

I don't know my guy, it's a dark chapter in my life, I did not hit people for no reason, the one time I got in fight was because of a friend, I was not that extremist

As I said for me it was a joke, but even I know when the line cross. And joke stop being joke

but even then there isn't a single day I regret what I am back in the day, cringing myself so hard whenever I think of the things I have done.

But for what is worth, I have apologised to the dudes. Not some dramatic shit and stuff but a simple 'Shoudn't have called you that, sorry'. We still keep in touch. I will go as far as I say we are friends. I believe they think the same, I was called to one of the fellows sisters' marriage

Again I don't know what he learned from though

 

[So_Indecisive]

You'd be surprised by the range of animalistic behaviour people show in a school environment

isn't so sad that you're literally talking about a place where we teach our youth? you're comparing the jungle to a school.

 

[prognastat]

I'm glad I went to school before social media became too common.

It used to be the case where even if bullying could be pretty bad the moment you left the school premises and went home it was over for the day(unless of course you're having issues at home). Now through a combination of efforts to combat the more overt forms of bullying and with social media though it seems to have become a lot more insidious and inescapable.

Being bullied didn't necessarily break me, but it certainly harmed my trust in other people. I was fairly strong emotionally and physically so insults have always slid of my back and whenever it got physical they took more of a beating than I did. However when you have most acquaintances and even friends turning their backs on you because the bully happens to be popular and they want to be more popular too even if it means betraying you. You kind of stop believing in people in general which isn't great for you in the long run as people kind of expect that to build closer relationships with you.

 

[Snake99]

That's why it's important to practice boxing when you're young, so shit like that doesn't happen to you.

 

[CrimsonGenius]

People tend to think they can get away with things because of their status. You can go with the classic jocks and nerds. Or someone stops being a friend and for some reason spreads a nasty rumor about that friend. Or cyber bullying.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

That's why it's important to practice boxing when you're young, so shit like that doesn't happen to you.

Unless the town you live in is run by a drug lord and the leader's son is the one picking a fight with you. Then all the boxing in the world just gonna get you killed or in a coma.

 

[Satansoul]

Unless the town you live in is run by a drug lord and the leader's son is the one picking a fight with you. Then all the boxing in the world just gonna get you killed or in a coma.

This looks like a movie.

 

[Sylver]

That would depend, there is no correct form of bullying because it can vary based on time period, setting, and other factors.

Nowadays, bullying is commonly viewed as cyberbullying through troll posts, name calling, stuff or material done online through anonymous accounts.

But from my time, bullying was a bit diverse. Some bullies were known for spreading rumors, accusations, and starting fights amongst other friend groups. Others were more straight forward, stay out of my way type who weren't afraid to push people around or use intimidation tactics. The bullies I'm familiar stuck with a friend group of bullies, they sort of had this back of attitude while also talking a lot of trash and occasionally picking on a select few when they were alone. Sometimes fights would break out, but often you needed your own friend group or else they would skew the narration to their side when the school asked for both sides of the story.

This is (hopefully) a thing of the past with surveillance cameras being somewhat common on school grounds, and with the shift of how bullying is done through online means. School fights are not rare, they still happen, but gossip spreads fast and everyone is quick to record as a way to get dibs on social media, earning likes and followers as a means of online validation.

I'm getting off topic but basically, bullying can vary. Worst I saw was a group of girls kicking someone in the lockers because of her bisexuality.

Sorry I remembered school, not the most pleasant memories.

You and me both, I'm sorry to hear about your experience. Some people think fondly about their time in school, so I usually fake it and make up some good memories to fit in. Because it's easier to do that rather than share about something personal about how awful it was for you. Because to them, they were fun time with friends, freedom of adult responsibilities, dating and engaging in sports, gossip, games, parties, and so on.

But to some like you and me, they were far from enjoyable to reminisce. I'd much rather forget than to remember those years.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

This looks like a movie.

More like the 80s in Central New York.
But yeah, I could make a movie out of it.

 

[Bartun]

There is no bullying in the third world, just people beating the shit out of each other after class.

At least in South America, culture revolves around solidarity. It isn't rare that boys who can't stand each other become friends, and the 'junta' (a gang of friends) plays an important role, both positive and negative. A good 'junta' will get the quiet one out of his shell and teach him to stand up for himself. A bad 'junta' will drag him to vices.

 

[Snake99]

More like the 80s in Central New York.
But yeah, I could make a movie out of it.

Jean-Claude Van Damme would be the protagonist

 

[MintiLime]

I agree! Bullying develops over time.

From preschool-kindergarten, bullying was physical and I broke a bone and was called names. This was ignored by the school until I switched over to another school for elementary.

In elementary-middle, it was more being pitted in competition with other students as I was particularly nerdy. You know, the classic don’t get a low score or they’ll prey on you thing. Looking back, definitely screwed up my idea of socialization and explains why I have to try to be “perfect.”

The bullying I faced after that was mainly of the neglect kind, the kind where it’s dubious if it’s really bullying- talking behind the back, that sort of thing. For example, I was asked to take notes in HS calculus as the rest of the class was going to a party. I was not invited, and I was the only person in class that day. Chair at the table being given away- I once ate lunch kneeling at the lunch table to see if anyone would notice. They did not. Some competitiveness still remained, but I had not slipped from my school’s leader board once… so that toned down a bit. I also learned to be secretive.

so violent —> competitive —> purposeful exclusion and indifference

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Jean-Claude Van Damme would be the protagonist

I look more like Tom Cruise.
But not so short.

 

[Annavyney]

Your insights on bullying in fiction really resonate. It's true that bullying isn't always as overt as it's sometimes depicted. In reality, it can be subtle, pervasive, and deeply damaging. It's concerning how easily it can be dismissed as "playful banter" or overlooked by adults. Addressing bullying requires a nuanced understanding of its dynamics and impacts. It's about creating a culture of empathy, respect, and support where everyone feels valued and safe. If you ever encounter bullying, whether online or offline, remember that there are resources available to help address it. Websites like digitalinvestigation.com offer valuable guidance on dealing with online harassment and reporting abusive behavior.

 

[Nolff]

You guys take them bullies seriously? Come on now, they're all little kids when they do this cringe and stupid stuff. Yes, I got beaten up more than the fingers I have in my entire life. But I always thought those people are just little kids, even when they're teens, and have a good body to beat the crap out of someone.

Sure, take me as someone who looks for attention. But let me tell you, IDGAF.


I dodged and blocked their attacks. I endure some hits from them too. It feels good to do so, seriously. And you know what's the best part of it?

I get to provoke them without being noticed, even when I obviously do that in my speech.

I know the cultures are different around the world. Still, they have one thing in common. If they get humiliated or defeated physically or wordily (mentally), they either try to assert dominance again or admit the defeat.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

I got bullied at school and home. There was really no escape, so I skipped a lot of classes in middle school, especially. I would go to a friend's house and stay there. Because of my childhood experiences, I became numb for a while and self-hatred, etc. On the one hand, it made me the person I am, for better or worse, but on the other hand, it was definitely very damaging to me.

 

[dummycake]

You guys take them bullies seriously? Come on now, they're all little kids when they do this cringe and stupid stuff. Yes, I got beaten up more than the fingers I have in my entire life. But I always thought those people are just little kids, even when they're teens, and have a good body to beat the crap out of someone.

Sure, take me as someone who looks for attention. But let me tell you, IDGAF.


I dodged and blocked their attacks. I endure some hits from them too. It feels good to do so, seriously. And you know what's the best part of it?

I get to provoke them without being noticed, even when I obviously do that in my speech.

I know the cultures are different around the world. Still, they have one thing in common. If they get humiliated or defeated physically or wordily (mentally), they either try to assert dominance again or admit the defeat.

you're talking like we weren't kids as well...

 

[Nolff]

If it sounds like that, then I'm deeply sorry. Most of my country's people have low human resources. Take a look at the "Gay & Guy" topics. It's Indonesian btw.

you're talking like we weren't kids as well...