Build-a-Harem

[greyblob]

certified racoon moment

 

[Rhaps]

"Girls, we're... going to Hawaii? Maaaayybeeee, right???" He started out assured of himself, and then quickly deflated.
The living star @Kalliel was looking at his crotch, already horny for grinding on the beach in the future.
@Generic.Archdemon nodded furiously. "It's definitely ok! Sounds like so much fun!" she said, a brief glazing overtaking her eye before fading away to normality. She looked at her harem partner and her current drooling with pouting disapproval. Her raccoon ears flicked back in distaste.
"Errr... alright..." he droned, still unsure of himself. He walked awkwardly to them, steam rushing off his beet-red face. He squat down, putting his arms under their butts.
They both wobble, arms spinning wildly. "Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?!" Kalliel screeches with play-panic. A hint of genuine panic creeps into his wide purple eyes. Reflexively, she torched some of his hair, apologizing quickly as a head-splitting pain built in the back of her skull. She did not like being touched on her skinny butt.
"It's ok," he reassured heedlessly. "I'm just going to sprint over the ocean... save some money," he excused.
A bead of cartoony sweat attached to their foreheads.
________________________________
Soon they found themselves in a rented house @MintiLime paid for with her own savings. He thanked her profusely, shaking his girlfriend's hands as she cried tears of fury joy to help her amazing boyfriend. He complimented her by wrapping an arm around her, one of his hands reaching to pinch some cake for himself.
He grinned.
"Life is swell."
KABOOM!
He whipped around to see the volcano exploding.
Immediately, he took command. He was the hero, and he would make sure that his harem was safe. He built a basement/fortress in no seconds flat and stashed them in roughly. They skipped like stones across the sea on their bums across the basement floor. The living star's hair stayed perfect, but Generic.Archdemon, who had spent hours forced by compulsion to manage their soft raccoon hair/fur, grew disheveled much to their frustration.
He Naruto-ran to the volcano, fast enough that air resistance actually mattered to him.
A three-headed dog with pink bows on each furious head thrashed around. Blunt teeth bared at his blue face. Lava splashed up as it crested against the walls of the caldera, hissing against the obsidian rock. He quickly started sweating and shaking in his boots.
He. Was. Terrified.
And then a pink glow suffused the area.
"Who are you, mortal, to interrupt my rites of succession? I must kill my brothers," asked a small girl, a crown of three bronze dog heads growling from atop her gold locks. She sneered, an arrogant cockiness that characterized the devils the Goddess warned him about. A dog on her lap growled at Taediosus, who she petted with surprising lovingness.
She was immortal. Looked like a child. Had a whole bunch of power.
She was the fabled...
Loli.
His eyes shined with stars. He had to have her!
A furious disgust turned her cheeks a putrid green.
And she was a tsundere too!

Meanwhile, Rhaps is in the background, with hands on her hips looking at the burning airport, smiling proudly.
"Guess we have to go home by boat now.", she said proudly, "Wonder if I can find an iceberg and make Titanic 2."

 

[RepresentingDesire]

Meanwhile, Rhaps is in the background, with hands on her hips looking at the burning airport, smiling proudly.
"Guess we have to go home by boat now.", she said proudly, "Wonder if I can find an iceberg and make Titanic 2."

Can I help you, I'm done with the Genocide and tentacle play.

 

[Jerynboe]

Erich adjusted his amulet, transforming himself into an elf with tits the size of her head and a waist barely big enough to accommodate the spine as he approached the painful stereotype. She knew this type. The basically-faceless bastard would probably get himself killed before long based on all projections, but at the current rate he was acquiring new girls that would leave a rather large and emotionally destroyed harem. Better to nip this in the bud, deprogram the victims, and hope that nobody asked any questions.

Taediosus offended the world hopping harem builder for a number of reasons. Erich used this world, full of people that would gut him if he tried anything, to stay grounded. He didn’t want a bunch of traumatized girls bringing down the mood and making everyone paranoid. Plus the blunt nature of this amateur really irritated him on a professional level; there was no art to it!

Anyway, time to get into character.

He tapped Taediosus on the shoulder, trusting his grotesque proportions to distract the idiot long enough for to clap a mind control jewel around his wrist. From there, disable him, figure out how his power worked, and reverse it. At worst he’d need to interview the victims’ friends and reconstruct their personalities with his own tools.

As expected, he only glanced into her eyes for a moment. She basked in the attention; she’d made this body just the way he’d like it. Hentai proportions weren’t good for anyone’s health, but for a guy this dreamy she’d put up with the side effects.

Right! She’d been planning on capturing him! This place seemed way too public, now that she looked around. She should stick with him. Lull him into a false sense of security. What could she do to make him trust her… ooh! Ooh! She could show him how the amulets worked! That way he could make everyone look exactly how he wanted!

Then she could go back to her own world while he was sleeping, and in the morning surprise him with a present! The other girls would love him! Now she understood why she was gathering them all. It couldn’t have been sexual; Erica didn’t want anyone but Taediosus, but giving him a huge harem might make him smile! Then he’d really trust her!

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

I'm either an OP harem member because I collect more members constantly or I am the only member because he's mine, only mine. What do you need those others for? Oh, they taste lovely, don't get me wrong, but he should only be spending time with me. It doesn't matter where he hides or runs to, I'll track him down and bring him back where he belongs. I do love watching him while he sleeps, I wouldn't want him sleeping anywhere else. Nobody will come to save him because he's a disgusting little brat, and I love that, and he loves me!

 

[RepresentingDesire]

I'm either an OP harem member because I collect more members constantly or I am the only member because he's mine, only mine. What do you need those others for? Oh, they taste lovely, don't get me wrong, but he should only be spending time with me. It doesn't matter where he hides or runs to, I'll track him down and bring him back where he belongs. I do love watching him while he sleeps, I wouldn't want him sleeping anywhere else. Nobody will come to save him because he's a disgusting little brat, and I love that, and he loves me!

Yandere dragon. But you will burn him with you love, won't you?

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

Yandere dragon. But you will burn him with you love, won't you?

Mmm yes, I have to make sure he's well done!

 

[RepresentingWrath]

? ? ? ?

 

[SsemouyOnan]

*slaps roof of harem*

This bad boy can(NOT) fit so many yanderes in it

 

[georgelee5786]

@TheMonotonePuppet is the wild harem member who put herself in the harem.

I'm the wannabe tough guy and disconnected

 

[Deleted member 139452]

Why did everyone suddenly gain intrest in architecture ? ( Harem is a place in the house where the precious objects are kept and the concubines rest )

 

[TheEldritchGod]

And in the midst of this existential nightmare, what are a few little things you do to make yourself stay sane?

The sun slowly rises over the horizon.

Inside the large, yet cozy, Nth-dimensional log cabin, a large cloud of memetic energy and strange orbs that act as both sensory organs and maw lie pooled in an underground chamber that contains a large depression shaped like a number that cannot be described, but if you saw it, you would think, 'Oh. So that's what the square root of a negative number looks like'.

The cloud slowly oozes up and over the rim, drifting up the stairs to the kitchen where it makes a cup of decaf. It holds the mug with the eyelashes of one eyeball while staring at it with yet another of its orbs. The coffee, somehow, is slowly sipped away, just because it is stared at.

One of the eyes yawns.

Drifting out of the kitchen, the cloud makes its way to the veranda. It is encased in glass so it is unaffected by weather, yet allowing one to enjoy the spectacular view of the rising sun as it slowly comes up to let lazy rays of cascading golden light play along the tops of verdant, unspoiled coniferous trees.

Relaxing in its favorite reclining bathtub, it reached out with one of its eyes to tap the keyboard with an eyelash so that it may pause to take a moment to gaze upon what fresh hell the internet forums of Scribble Hub have brought it.

It spies this thread.

You are now sure HOW an entity that consumes coffee by staring at it can do a spit take, but, somehow, in defiance of all known laws of physics, the cloud manages to spit up not only the coffee it drank this morning but every cup of coffee it had ever consumed or will consume. The resultant torrent of decaf shatters the windows and floods the ancient forest, murdering many a woodland creature in their nests and homes while they slept.

The cloud stares at its laptop.

The cloud reaches out with an eyeball, slowly pulls the laptop closed, then slinks back to its depression in the basement.

The-Abyss-That-Slumbers is going back to bed.

 

[MintiLime]

This is moving towards “unsuspecting idiot accidentally enchants eldritch horrors and abominations found only in nightmares, with a couple token normies” and I’m here for it. Let’s make it a reality Sci-fi fantasy TV show. I’ll bake y’all some cookies in the meantime

 

[Seaspecter]

This is moving towards “unsuspecting idiot accidentally enchants eldritch horrors and abominations found only in nightmares, with a couple token normies” and I’m here for it. Let’s make it a reality Sci-fi fantasy TV show. I’ll bake y’all some cookies in the meantime

Did someone say eldritch horror?

 

[RepresentingDesire]

And in the midst of this existential nightmare, what are a few little things you do to make yourself stay sane?

What do you mean with staying sane? The obvious answer is to go insane.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Did someone say eldritch horror?

I'm seeing Cthulhu jumping out of a closet saying this.

What do you mean with staying sane? The obvious answer is to go insane.

Ahem.

Sanity is defined by society. So, in the absence of society, there can be no sanity, but no INSANITY as well. Staying sane is something relative to the society you are compared to.

If I said I was an eldritch horror, but it's clear I'm a normal human and ordinary in every way, but all of you SAID I was an eldritch horror, would I be the crazy one?

 

[RepresentingDesire]

Ahem.

Sanity is defined by society. So, in the absence of society, there can be no sanity, but no INSANITY as well. Staying sane is something relative to the society you are compared to.

If I said I was an eldritch horror, but it's clear I'm a normal human and ordinary in every way, but all of you SAID I was an eldritch horror, would I be the crazy one?

I could kiss you but that would be gay and I'm quite okay with it.

Yes, you are absolute right sanity depends like many other things on the status quo of society but we are talking from the perspective of the human society that dominates the earth for now.
Thus we need to talk from such a perspective if we want to be understood.

And your question is surprisingly hard to answer with some consideration.

 

[RepresentingThree]

This is... Something else.

Edit: It was written very late at night/early in the morning, so I'm curious to see their feelings on this thread after some rest. *laughs ominously like the cartoon villain I am*

 

[RepresentingDesire]

This is... Something else.

Edit: It was written very late at night/early in the morning, so I'm curious to see their feelings on this thread after some rest. *laughs ominously like the cartoon villain I am*

I'm curios as well. *laughs maniacally*

 

[Sagacious_Punk]

I'll be the resident token character, the one that kinda exists in the background by way of sheer redundancy - the Nobby Nobbs of the setting.

My gender will be irrelevant. I'll be so bland, so gray, so desiccatedly dry, that I'll be carrying papers to prove I exist at all in the narrative causality of the story; my ID will read "BJ Blandersson. Discrete quantum entity, waiting for Godot Taediosus senpai."

This by day. By night, I'll sing sonatas on the roof - badly. Like shrieking cats dying inside a tin can in low planetary orbit.

Also, I'll be writing postmodernist Vogon poetry.