Author in search of a bit of feedback

[Assurbanipal_II]

While I might be a relatively recent addition to this most honourable community, I would like to have a bit of feedback for my story. So, joke aside and considering that you volunteer for this arduous task ?, what do you think about the story? What works well? Pacing, plot, characters? What can be improved in your opinion, etc., etc.

But please spare me with grammar: I know my grammar is atrocious and that typos are frequent.

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/41004/si-vis-pacem-para-bellum/

 

[Yorda]

I totally messed up and deleted everything that I wanted to post here after spending a good 30 minutes writing it ...

Anyways.

I wanted to say that your illustration is good. It really fits the story and your character well. It grabs the readers' attention and makes them click on it out of interest and curiosity. Clickbait is half the battle.

I made my illustration with this idea in mind. I realized that the illustration pictures were very small for scribblehub so that meant that if I wanted mine to stand out it would need to have something that was large. Thus I put my MC Garnet boldly all over it with a standout red background doing an attention grabbing pose. Worked out quite well for me.

Also I want to say that I really like your MC Asami. She is a great character and that's important in a story driven so much by her.

I wanted to comment on your synopsis. I actually never read your synopsis before since I just started reading your story. There are many summaries that are beautiful/poetic/flowery, but sometimes I read them and don't really understand what the story is about. Then I don't end up getting interested and just pass over the story to go look at something else. Other people might be doing the same. When I wrote my story summary I added a bit of intrigue and poetic stuff at the beginning, but then got more specific so that people would know what they were gonna read without giving too many details that would spoil the story. It was tricky and I think I want to rewrite my summary some time.

I wanted to say again that I don't like Naruto much and I couldn't force myself to watch very much of it. But I really love your writing style and it entranced me. Your writing style is very good. I don't know the characters and I didn't know what I was reading, but I liked it!

Also, you write a lot. I've written fan fiction stuff before, but it was just for me: It wasn't something I would publish. I know fan fiction stuff can get written faster since a lot of the world-building, storyline, and characters are already completed, but you still write a lot. Do you spend all your free time writing. If you said you had a job I would still believe you though.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

I totally messed up and deleted everything that I wanted to post here after spending a good 30 minutes writing it ...

Anyways.

I wanted to say that your illustration is good. It really fits the story and your character well. It grabs the readers' attention and makes them click on it out of interest and curiosity. Clickbait is half the battle.

I made my illustration with this idea in mind. I realized that the illustration pictures were very small for scribblehub so that meant that if I wanted mine to stand out it would need to have something that was large. Thus I put my MC Garnet boldly all over it with a standout red background doing an attention grabbing pose. Worked out quite well for me.

Also I want to say that I really like your MC Asami. She is a great character and that's important in a story driven so much by her.

I wanted to comment on your synopsis. I actually never read your synopsis before since I just started reading your story. There are many summaries that are beautiful/poetic/flowery, but sometimes I read them and don't really understand what the story is about. Then I don't end up getting interested and just pass over the story to go look at something else. Other people might be doing the same. When I wrote my story summary I added a bit of intrigue and poetic stuff at the beginning, but then got more specific so that people would know what they were gonna read without giving too many details that would spoil the story. It was tricky and I think I want to rewrite my summary some time.

I wanted to say again that I don't like Naruto much and I couldn't force myself to watch very much of it. But I really love your writing style and it entranced me. Your writing style is very good. I don't know the characters and I didn't know what I was reading, but I liked it!

Also, you write a lot. I've written fan fiction stuff before, but it was just for me: It wasn't something I would publish. I know fan fiction stuff can get written faster since a lot of the world-building, storyline, and characters are already completed, but you still write a lot. Do you spend all your free time writing. If you said you had a job I would still believe you though.

Not all free time, the secret is a lot of pre-preproduced chapters. And you are right, I don't like Naruto that much, Naruto as a character specifically, but I like the world building, or rather the opportunities I saw. Therefore, I grabbed the world, dropped the annoying characters and chose an OC.