Ask Stone or Ink for Feedback. (Closeddd)

[TheIcMan]

StoneInky joins the fray!!!! Might hop on this when I get to writing my story eventually. My heart is far too weak for Tempokai lmao

 

[SurfAngel_1031]

StoneInky joins the fray!!!! Might hop on this when I get to writing my story eventually. My heart is far too weak for Tempokai lmao

Stone send to be pretty level headed in the responses I've seen across the forums, so this should prove to be fun to read.

 

[DJ_Rhaposdy]

I'll take some feedback. Give me that stone treatment! Hold nothing back!

Former Isekai Hero was Corrupted by His Over-Poweredness, and Now the People Need Me, a Prince of this World, to Defeat Him and Save Our Land

That boy was supposed to save our world from the wrath of the Demon King. And while the King is dead, an even worse threat has arisen: the boy himself! I don't know how he came to this world, but I'm going to be the one to take him out...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[SurfAngel_1031]

I'll take some feedback. Give me that stone treatment! Hold nothing back!

Former Isekai Hero was Corrupted by His Over-Poweredness, and Now the People Need Me, a Prince of this World, to Defeat Him and Save Our Land

That boy was supposed to save our world from the wrath of the Demon King. And while the King is dead, an even worse threat has arisen: the boy himself! I don't know how he came to this world, but I'm going to be the one to take him out...

www.scribblehub.com

I read that way differently. Things change when 'stone' becomes 'stoned.'

 

[Fairemont]

I read that way differently. Things change when 'stone' becomes 'stoned.'

There are some things thatd be easier to read while stoned, I suspect.

 

[Ahrihn]

Hi! i would love some developmental critque, I'd love to know what I'm doing wrong

The Shadow Guard and Her Princess

When the emperor thrusts the seven imperial heirs into a struggle for the throne, Shadow Guard Three becomes the Third Princess’s only knife. But having spent her whole life killing for the throne, the deadly imperial competition drives away any chance Three might have for a happy ending. With...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Macha]

Hi! i would love some developmental critque, I'd love to know what I'm doing wrong

The Shadow Guard and Her Princess

When the emperor thrusts the seven imperial heirs into a struggle for the throne, Shadow Guard Three becomes the Third Princess’s only knife. But having spent her whole life killing for the throne, the deadly imperial competition drives away any chance Three might have for a happy ending. With...

www.scribblehub.com

You posted too many chapters in a day. That's what you are doing wrong. Don't do that.

 

[K_Jira]

If you're fine with BL (non-harem, non-smut), I would love to have a stone feedback on my latest story: [QT] Loving an Alien Isn’t That Bad at All

I keep having a nagging feeling that my writing is becoming too mechanical and it's giving me headaches…

 

[Macha]

If you're fine with BL (non-harem, non-smut), I would love to have a stone feedback on my latest story: [QT] Loving an Alien Isn’t That Bad at All

I keep having a nagging feeling that my writing is becoming too mechanical and it's giving me headaches…

It's just your imagination. Your writing don't feel mechanical to me.

 

[Ahrihn]

You posted too many chapters in a day. That's what you are doing wrong. Don't do that.

Yep, I pre-wrote the whole thing then dumped it on the site in under a week. Bad for the algorithm?

 

[Akkizakura]

Yep, I pre-wrote the whole thing then dumped it on the site in under a week. Bad for the algorithm?

You seem to be posting multiple chapters a day. Im not entirely sure about it, but i once read, that there's an anti-spam mechanism here, that gets you flagged if you post too much. If such a system really existed, I'm sure that it would've been triggered for you, meaning your new chaps wont show up in the latest updates.

 

[K_Jira]

It's just your imagination. Your writing don't feel mechanical to me.

Maybe repetitive then…? There's just something about it that keeps bothering me, but I don't know what, so I don't know how to fix it orz

 

[OokamiOkuri]

Maybe repetitive then…? There's just something about it that keeps bothering me, but I don't know what, so I don't know how to fix it orz

You’ve been writing ten stories in a row, so it’s normal to start feeling a bit of déjà vu. It happens because your brain is spotting familiar patterns, phrases, scenes, or character dynamics you’ve used before, sometimes without even realizing it.

It’s not a problem, just a sign you might need to mix things up. Take a break or try a new story structure.

 

[Edenc2708]

I'm not a professional, just a bored reader doing this for funsies!
This is a reminder that you don't have to follow my suggestions if you dislike them, and you can ask for feedback multiple times if you want.

(P.S. Tempokai, thank you for the idea. I got lazy searching for authors, lmaooo. You guys should come to me instead!)

Please choose from the categories and post a link to your novel.


Requirements
No harem, reverse harem, or stories that are 90% smut. No AI edited stuff. Everything else is okay.
If I don't think I'm the target audience of your novel, I might skip it. It's nothing personal—just worried I won't be much help, lol.


Different Types of Feedback (Choose one!)

Ink (Reader Impressions)
I'll give light, casual feedback. What I like about the novel, what I don't, whether I would quit the novel in the first two chapters, etc. It'll just be a general vibe check.
I'll only read one to five chapters depending on my mood, so don't expect me to fully complete your novel before saying anything.

Stone (Developmental Critique)?
I'll give more focused feedback on your novel. The pacing, structure, character tone, clarity, etc. I'll go into specific paragraphs and dissect the ones I don't like. I've been told I'm a bit... rough(?) so don't ask if you can't handle it.
For this one, tell me if you also want suggestions, or if you just want to know what feels off.
Again, I'll review one to five chapters depending on my mood, so don't expect me to fully complete your novel.

+Bonus? If I end up liking and completing your story, I'll ask if you want the overall feedback too.

i can't participate

 

[K_Jira]

You’ve been writing ten stories in a row, so it’s normal to start feeling a bit of déjà vu. It happens because your brain is spotting familiar patterns, phrases, scenes, or character dynamics you’ve used before, sometimes without even realizing it.

It’s not a problem, just a sign you might need to mix things up. Take a break or try a new story structure.

Yeah, maybe you're right. But I just can't hold myself back when I think of an idea even if I will end up abandoning them most of the time

 

[CharlesEBrown]

You’ve been writing ten stories in a row, so it’s normal to start feeling a bit of déjà vu. It happens because your brain is spotting familiar patterns, phrases, scenes, or character dynamics you’ve used before, sometimes without even realizing it.

It’s not a problem, just a sign you might need to mix things up. Take a break or try a new story structure.

Ten IN A ROW? Wow. I've got seven concurrently (but am forced to focus on two exclusively for a little while)...

 

[K_Jira]

Ten IN A ROW? Wow. I've got seven concurrently (but am forced to focus on two exclusively for a little while)...

No, I don't have that kind of superpower. There is a fairly large gap between each one I didn't even post anything last year from a slump

 

[StoneInky]

Can I ask for Ink? And since we are the same person, are you still open for feedback?

This is the story:

King of Blue Flames

Rinaldo, of the Luminous Knights, is known far and wide as a brilliant swordsman who can cause injury or death with a glance. Despite being feared as “Evil-Eye Rinaldo”, he is actually a normal person with no special skills or power. To avoid an arranged marriage with his arrogant and...

www.scribblehub.com

It's written before LLM and AI is a thing. So it should be okay.
Unless I'm a time traveler and somehow already had access to them?
There used to be 10 negative reviews but they disappeared.
Tell me how bad it is and if those *1 reviews were justified.

We are the same person? But I don't remember writing such an awful novel.../jk

Spoiler: Review on King of Blue Flames

First Impressions:

The cover was fancy and very professional. I thought this was a real published rofan at first, just translated. Then I realized the writer was ME, and I would never do such a thing. So I patted myself on the back for securing such a gorgeous cover.

I might have read way too many Rofan novels, lmao, the synopsis felt generic. It looked high quality, told me what to expect, what it's about, the protagonists, etc. It was just the same as every other rofan I'd seen before, to the point I weighed whether I should quit here?

The title was slightly ambiguous? The title and synopsis made it sound like the guy was the MC, but the cover made it look like it was the girl. The cover pulled weight here, lmao, I think it's the girl who's the MC? Or maybe both? I was confused, but I just went in anyway.


Thoughts on Early Chapters:

Chapter one was generic. I am sorry, me, but I have read way too many rofans until now. I skimmed through most of chapter one, especially the boring exposition. I weighed whether to quit here at first, it was that bad.

Until I found great lines catching me off guard in the middle? Rinaldo going,

“Marry me.”

and there being small details like:

Contrary to everyone’s belief, Rinaldo wasn’t an interrogation expert.

was a complete hoot. I loved the dude already, and I barely knew him, lmao. Rinaldo is approved as the ML/MC. I hope the girl he gets into a romance with deserves him.

So I changed my mind midway through chapter 1. I think a large part of it is because of how you narrate things. Your voice itself made the novel worth continuing on. The explanations were still bad, so I half skimmed... half forced myself to read them because I could tell they were important? It was exhausting.

Oh. The comment at the end was rubbish. I'm horrible at remembering names, but even I could remember the characters cuz they counted. And the sudden proposals were hilarious. Everyone knows they aren't NTR. The mood isn't NTR, the synopsis ain't NTR, why the hell does this one dude think it might turn NTR? What kind of brainrot do they read normally?

In fact, I would say it's the opposite. Your strong points are in how you introduce the characters, and the comedic surprise of the sudden proposals. The descriptions are good. The grammar and polish is very well done, too, so this dude has zero idea what they're talking about.

I went to Chapter two.

Things felt strange? I went back to check the tags, and my eyes went round learning the dude was the MC. Scratch what I'd said before, this is unlike every other rofan I've seen. But if I didn't check the tags, I may have misunderstood, so that was a close call. Wow.

At the start of Chapter two, I expected everyone to look at Rinaldo and Olivia and offer some sort of commentary, like, 'Those two are doing something weird again', or 'Oohhhh, look at them', or something, lmao. Especially since the proposals were described in more detail and weren't just a casual and quick thing.

Not only was I disappointed to learn we were going to pass on, this made me wonder whether the story would go the comedic or grounded route? The first chapter made me assume more comedic, but chapter two felt more grounded suddenly, so I was confused. I couldn't get invested, and I was about to skim again...

Then another line from Rinaldo:

“Do you want to try again?” Rinaldo's voice remained calm even as the figure stabbed him.

Rinaldo is still a complete chad. Would understand even if he went down the harem route, but of course he chose the Chad way. Married the woman just to spite his mother. Even better. Love him.

The exposition and confusing tone still made me quit. But I think it has a lot of charm! It feels like you don't hook the reader in, instead you wrestle them and... kinda force them to read the novel every second they start getting bored, lmao.

Oh, right. I wrote the novel. So it's 'I'.

 

[Erysion]

We are the same person? But I don't remember writing such an awful novel.../jk

Spoiler: Review on King of Blue Flames

First Impressions:

The cover was fancy and very professional. I thought this was a real published rofan at first, just translated. Then I realized the writer was ME, and I would never do such a thing. So I patted myself on the back for securing such a gorgeous cover.

I might have read way too many Rofan novels, lmao, the synopsis felt generic. It looked high quality, told me what to expect, what it's about, the protagonists, etc. It was just the same as every other rofan I'd seen before, to the point I weighed whether I should quit here?

The title was slightly ambiguous? The title and synopsis made it sound like the guy was the MC, but the cover made it look like it was the girl. The cover pulled weight here, lmao, I think it's the girl who's the MC? Or maybe both? I was confused, but I just went in anyway.


Thoughts on Early Chapters:

Chapter one was generic. I am sorry, me, but I have read way too many rofans until now. I skimmed through most of chapter one, especially the boring exposition. I weighed whether to quit here at first, it was that bad.

Until I found great lines catching me off guard in the middle? Rinaldo going,

and there being small details like:

was a complete hoot. I loved the dude already, and I barely knew him, lmao. Rinaldo is approved as the ML/MC. I hope the girl he gets into a romance with deserves him.

So I changed my mind midway through chapter 1. I think a large part of it is because of how you narrate things. Your voice itself made the novel worth continuing on. The explanations were still bad, so I half skimmed... half forced myself to read them because I could tell they were important? It was exhausting.

Oh. The comment at the end was rubbish. I'm horrible at remembering names, but even I could remember the characters cuz they counted. And the sudden proposals were hilarious. Everyone knows they aren't NTR. The mood isn't NTR, the synopsis ain't NTR, why the hell does this one dude think it might turn NTR? What kind of brainrot do they read normally?

In fact, I would say it's the opposite. Your strong points are in how you introduce the characters, and the comedic surprise of the sudden proposals. The descriptions are good. The grammar and polish is very well done, too, so this dude has zero idea what they're talking about.

I went to Chapter two.

Things felt strange? I went back to check the tags, and my eyes went round learning the dude was the MC. Scratch what I'd said before, this is unlike every other rofan I've seen. But if I didn't check the tags, I may have misunderstood, so that was a close call. Wow.

At the start of Chapter two, I expected everyone to look at Rinaldo and Olivia and offer some sort of commentary, like, 'Those two are doing something weird again', or 'Oohhhh, look at them', or something, lmao. Especially since the proposals were described in more detail and weren't just a casual and quick thing.

Not only was I disappointed to learn we were going to pass on, this made me wonder whether the story would go the comedic or grounded route? The first chapter made me assume more comedic, but chapter two felt more grounded suddenly, so I was confused. I couldn't get invested, and I was about to skim again...

Then another line from Rinaldo:

Rinaldo is still a complete chad. Would understand even if he went down the harem route, but of course he chose the Chad way. Married the woman just to spite his mother. Even better. Love him.

The exposition and confusing tone still made me quit. But I think it has a lot of charm! It feels like you don't hook the reader in, instead you wrestle them and... kinda force them to read the novel every second they start getting bored, lmao.

Oh, right. I wrote the novel. So it's 'I'.

Mission accomplished. Thank you!

 

[Edeshei]

I'm not a professional, just a bored reader doing this for funsies!
This is a reminder that you don't have to follow my suggestions if you dislike them, and you can ask for feedback multiple times if you want.

(P.S. Tempokai, thank you for the idea. I got lazy searching for authors, lmaooo. You guys should come to me instead!)

Please choose from the categories and post a link to your novel.


Requirements
No harem, reverse harem, or stories that are 90% smut. No AI edited stuff. Everything else is okay.
If I don't think I'm the target audience of your novel, I might skip it. It's nothing personal—just worried I won't be much help, lol.


Different Types of Feedback (Choose one!)

Ink (Reader Impressions)
I'll give light, casual feedback. What I like about the novel, what I don't, whether I would quit the novel in the first two chapters, etc. It'll just be a general vibe check.
I'll only read one to five chapters depending on my mood, so don't expect me to fully complete your novel before saying anything.

Stone (Developmental Critique)?
I'll give more focused feedback on your novel. The pacing, structure, character tone, clarity, etc. I'll go into specific paragraphs and dissect the ones I don't like. I've been told I'm a bit... rough(?) so don't ask if you can't handle it.
For this one, tell me if you also want suggestions, or if you just want to know what feels off.
Again, I'll review one to five chapters depending on my mood, so don't expect me to fully complete your novel.

+Bonus? If I end up liking and completing your story, I'll ask if you want the overall feedback too.

I wonder if I should out my story here lol ??

Caelestialis

SLOW BURN| DARK FANTASY | ROMANTIC ANGST | PROGRESSION In the once-prosperous city of Araes, the disappearance of the deity Razla has plunged the land into chaos. The people suffer, abandoned by their god, while crime and desperation fester in the streets. Dawn is a skilled reluctant thief but...

www.scribblehub.com