Anyone want to give me feedback on my story? :)

[Sahrynar]

I would love it if you could give me a review of my story, whether it's very detailed or just a quick note to say you like it/would read more, etc.
I only have the first three chapters polished, but have written about 2.5 books in this series. I've been debating if I should upload the rest of the rough chapters or not. Although they are readable, they are very clearly first drafts (and do have grammar/spelling mistakes) but I don't have the time atm to fix them. Please also let me know if you think I should upload the rest or wait until I have time to edit them more.
Thank you in advance for your help! ?

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/...rech-book-one-of-the-guardians-of-lajen-saga/

 

[RebelLion]

@SailusGebel maybe.

 

[LilRora]

I've read the first chapter, and I can say it caught my interest.

I like how it's not a generic fantasy world, because there are a bit too much of them nowadays.

Grammar is good, could be a bit more polished to suit the situation, but if there are any errors, then I didn't notice them. That's good, and if that's going to be the quality of edited chapters, then I have no complaints on this front.

As for the bad things, the beginning feels too fast. Now I'm not saying you should change it, but it would be good if the story didn't start from glowing hands, but from morning routine since waking up, because you could put a lot of worldbuilding, mc's behavior and general personality, and characters there. The way it is now, I feel like you're jumping to the story without any introduction, which isn't bad per se, but feels rushed.

More... I didn't notice more, not that I've been looking deeply. That one thing I pointed out is the only thing I would personally change that noticed after reading the first chapter.

As for uploading the rest, well, I can't say without seeing them. Personally I would not upload them till they are edited, but if you want to, I see no problem with uploading them. Just inform the readers at the beginning that the chapter wasn't edited and you're good.

PS: that pic looks like it came from DALL-E mini or something similar.

 

[Snowyflakes]

Hi! I had read all three chapters.

Right off the bat, I can say that the synopsis caught my interest.

When it comes to grammar and prose, I didn’t sense any flaws or, at least, there was nothing that bothered me too much to take into consideration. There were a few sentences that I needed to read again to comprehend what you wanted to express, but other than that, there were no significant errors. I like how you described the atmosphere, environment, action from the story, and the tension between the characters.

Spoiler: First Chapter

Regarding what happened in the barn, each detail made it possible for me to imagine the entire scene vividly. Likewise, the scene between Lila and Sandra is very well built (In my perspective, it can happen in reality as well, even though it is just a work of fiction). I could sense the tension between the two characters, Lila's shock when her mother had hit her, had called her a witch, and then a murderer. In other words, everything seems well thought out. Good job! Oh, and I was interested in what will happen further, which is a big +, in my opinion.

Spoiler: Second Chapter

First of all, I want to praise the way you described the environment. It reminded me of those classic and wonderfully evocative descriptions in well-known fantasy books.
I am sorry for Lila! I don't know what had happened to her father yet, but I believe it wasn't her fault. Also, the encounter between her and Silvia and Elizabeth made me laugh. Silvia seems to be wise despite her simplicity, whereas Elizabeth made me feel like she is my own cute and funny cousin.

Spoiler: Third Chapter

The action of the storyline intrigued me. I would read the next chapter, as well. Though I find most of the chapter quite amusing, I am curious about the reason for her strength and speed.

All in all, I like what you've done so far. I would read more anytime. As for whether you should upload the rest of your chapters, I think that as long as they are readable, it is not a problem if you do it. You can write in an author’s note or in the synopsis that you will edit the chapters in the future.