Annoying baby toys

[ThisAdamGuy]

My niece is having her first birthday later this month, and I need you guys' help in fulfilling my role as the Crazy Uncle. Give me ideas for the loudest, most annoying, obnoxious, age-appropriate toys you can. I want my niece to love me and her parents to hate my freaking guts.

The best idea I have so far is THE CUBE, but there has to be something out there even more diabolical than that. Give me ideas!

 

[Alski]

Motion activated baby shark toy.

 

[ThisAdamGuy]

Motion activated baby shark toy.

No go. I made the mistake of mentioning that toy in front of them a few months ago and they said that thing is not allowed in their house. So I'm going to have to find something equally as annoying, but less blatantly "I'm doing this to torture my sister and brother in law"-ish.

 

[ShrimpShady]

barbie phone please. tried and true classic. hit em with the ai ai ai i'm your little butterfly

 

[ThisAdamGuy]

barbie phone please. tried and true classic. hit em with the ai ai ai i'm your little butterfly

Maybe when she's older. She's turning one this month. Not old enough to know what to do with a phone yet.

 

[The_Bip_Boop2003]

Yellies, or any plushies that make noise in response to noise.

 

[Nevafrost]

barbie phone please. tried and true classic. hit em with the ai ai ai i'm your little butterfly

I thought it was a chinese song up until I saw a reel about it.

 

[ShrimpShady]

Maybe when she's older. She's turning one this month. Not old enough to know what to do with a phone yet.

But she'd be ahead of her iPad kid peers once she's started kindergarten

 

[Empress_Omnii]

less blatantly "I'm doing this to torture my sister and brother in law"-ish.

But...

I want my niece to love me and her parents to hate my freaking guts.

That's exactly what you want

 

[AncestorDuck]

That cube is mad annoying. My nephew has like 3 of them, and damn...

 

[Seaspecter]

A little toy drum, the kiddo will beat the snot out of it and you can't take the batteries out.

 

[ThisAdamGuy]

A little toy drum, the kiddo will beat the snot out of it and you can't take the batteries out.

I gave her some jingle bells for Christmas. When she's three or four, I'll give her a recorder. When she's one and two, I think I want to focus on obnoxiously loud electronic plastic toys.

This is an art, you see.

 

[Hsinat]

what about that cactus robot?

 

[2wordsperminute]

Instead of the cube, I suggest the tungsten cube.

 

[ThisAdamGuy]

what about that cactus robot?

I got her something almost exactly like that for Christmas, except it was a flower instead of a cactus.

 

[Hsinat]

I got her something almost exactly like that for Christmas, except it was a flower instead of a cactus.

Noice! You’ve seen that monkey clapping its cymbals from toy stories, right? Get her that then!

 

[RepresentingCaution]

No toy is more annoying than the actual child. The toy makes the same sounds over and over again, so you habituate to it. The child does not make the same sounds over and over again. Hearing sounds from the toy is soothing because it means the child is still engaged with the toy and not climbing on top of your refrigerator knocking down wine bottles. It's disappointing when the child loses interest in the toy.

what about that cactus robot?

We got two of them as gifts. I think pretty much every modern parent has gotten one or more as a gift already.


As much as I love having my child occupied by an electronic toy for my own sanity, those sorts of toys are not great for child development. Get the parents this:

https://www.amazon.com/Hunt-Gather-Parent-Ancient-Cultures-ebook/dp/B08BZX94C2?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Get the kid this:

https://www.amazon.com/Non-Toxic-Washable-Water-Drop-Toddlers-Children/dp/B0B24N4VK8/ref=asc_df_B0B24N4VK8?mcid=95fc4ab3decf34608ffacecf7718555f&hvocijid=2790181864203918904-B0B24N4VK8-&hvexpln=73&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=730352155585&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2790181864203918904&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9032013&hvtargid=pla-2281435180218&th=1

The kid will draw on things she is not supposed to, and that will annoy the parents.