Gonna start with, Don't kill yourself. You'd be surprised how often people forget the basics.
If you need reasons, I spent years talking people out of doing it. Just about anything you can come up with, I bet I got a rock solid argument why you shouldn't. And yeah, I can tackle all the big ones.
Why are we here? Why do we exist if we're just gonna die? Etc etc etc.
If you need those answers, ask the questions and I'll give 'em. But the fact of the matter is, I rarely find someone who is considering self-deletion who is doing it for logical reasons.
@TheEldritchGod do you have any advice here?
Been dealing with RL.
I can feel I have been down lately.
Should I take this as a possible cue for concern?
Yes. Panic? No.
You feel sad. Cool. everyone has felt sad. Sadness is a very important emotion. Most people think certain emotions are "Bad". I've come to learn all emotions serve a purpose, lest we wouldn't have evolved to feel them. 12,000 years of humanity led to you having the emotions you have. They've got to do SOMETHING, right?
>Am I safe?
Ooo... now that's a tough question. Technically, nobody is. Safety exists on a continuum. So in one sense, they fact you are typing on a computer indicates you are "safe". On the other hand, earthquakes and collapsing buildings are a thing. There is a Non-Zero chance you are not safe, lets put it that way.
The real question I have is:
Why do you want to be safe?
Usually desire for safety comes from a point where you didn't. When one is in danger constantly, you develop habits that are good things in the moment, bad in others. It's the nature of the human mind that we learn. The mistake people make is the whole "subconscious" BS. I hate psychotherapy. Freud did more harm to humanity than anyone will ever know.
Look, honest truth is, unless we're talking lost limbs here, or you are trapped in a basement in a hole while someone says, "It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose.", just about any situation you are in is temporary. Self-deletion is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I suspect you are writing about said topics for two reasons:
One, You want to try and work things out and come to understand the concept, so you are writing about it.
Two, You hope to make the act more appealing so that you can work yourself up to it.
If you need to understand it, great.
If you are hyping it up, then deep down you KNOW it's a really bad idea.
I write about it from the other side. I'm the guy who used to talk kids out of killing themselves. Was damn good at it. Until the day I wasn't. The difference between, "Tell Me Where You Live." and "Tell Me Where You Are." is only one word.
Sent the paramedics to the wrong location.
I did my job. I got her to want to live. She... was trying so hard at the end. She'd already taken the pills, unfortunately. Got to listen as the paramedics finally got there, but... too late.
...
I'll save you the melodrama of explaining what happened after that. What I will say is that there are people who will fight tooth and nail to keep you alive. You might not know where they are, they might not be in your life, but they exist. There are people who care about you, even if you have not met them.
if you need answers, ask your questions. DM me, or post here, I don't care.
If you just need to think, as I know I'm late to the party, well, may I recommend reading HKN. I started writing it on a very dark day. You can find a link below n my sig file. It's about a guy who fucked up really bad and decided to take the easy way out and... how it wasn't an easy way after all. I have a feeling if you are in a dark place, much of what I wrote will resonate. At least make it to chapter 20. Or hell, just skip to chapter 20.
Here.
Chapter 20
Read it. Trust me. Just Read It.
Right now.
