Action scenes....

zelotwo02

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So I already have plans for my novel for up to 3 arcs but i forgot one of the most important scenes in my novel, Action I don't know how to write action scenes so yeah I'm stuck now, so can you help me??
 

zelotwo02

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Here's an example

"You better give us all your belongings if you wanna live long"

the guy pointed his knife at me

"Iyada"

"Huuuuh?! what's wrong with this brat?!" the guy tried to stab me but

and then i don't know how write this
 
D

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Well, what do you want to happen in that scene? Try to elaborate more on what you want to happen, so that we know how to help. :s_wink:
 
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zelotwo02

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Well, what do you want to happen in that scene?

But i evaded it and the guy tripped and fall

"the boss! this shitty brat!"

the other guys also comes after me

guy one tried to punch me but i evaded it and counter attack by punching his gut

the guy who was helping the boss stand up also comes after with a knife i evaded it again and got his hand and broke it

" guaah!!"

"kuh! this kid is a bad news let's go"

the boss said and started running

but i wont let you get away

I rushed to the boss and hit him in the nape same for the other guys and they lose their consciousness


I feel like my writing is a mess lol
 

CupcakeNinja

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Here's an example

"You better give us all your belongings if you wanna live long"

the guy pointed his knife at me

"Iyada"

"Huuuuh?! what's wrong with this brat?!" the guy tried to stab me but

and then i don't know how write this
If it were me, I'd do it like this:
The guy tried to stab me, but I anticipated the action and pivoted to the side, narrowly avoiding the sharp blade. Not wanting to waste the momentum, I acted quickly and grabbed ahold of his wrist. Now in control of his arm I pushed his hand up and away, keeping the blade at a distance. With a quick jab to his throat the man went down in a panicked spasm.

....or something if I wanted the mc to be all cool and badass at fighting.

If I wanted him more comical?
Ahem:
The guy tried to stab at me, but I had the reflexes of a cat and quickly got the fuck outta dodge. I cleared three feet in an instant, jumping back and using the good old "run like a little bitch" maneuver. Heh! Another successful escape. Booyah.

More normal?

The guy tried to stab at me, but I was already moving to dodge. As soon as I saw that damn thing I knew shit was gonna get real. So you can bet your ass I was ready to bounce. The man missed my by a hairsbreadth even so, turning my blood cold. Not daring to stop now, I quickly took off my jacket and threw it at him. While he was distracted, I ran. Like Usain Bolt on steroids. Or more accurately, like a man fleeing for his life from some psycho with a knife.

I didnt quite feel like being shanked today, thank you very much!

...well I dunno what exactly you had in mind tho so I'm just offering examples. Use any of them if you want.
 

zelotwo02

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If it were me, I'd do it like this:
The guy tried to stab me, but I anticipated the action and pivoted to the side, narrowly avoiding the sharp blade. Not wanting to waste the momentum, I acted quickly and grabbed ahold of his wrist. Now in control of his arm I pushed his hand up and away, keeping the blade at a distance. With a quick jab to his throat the man went down in a panicked spasm.

....or something if I wanted the mc to be all cool and badass at fighting.

If I wanted him more comical?
Ahem:
The guy tried to stab at me, but I had the reflexes of a cat and quickly got the fuck outta dodge. I cleared three feet in an instant, jumping back and using the good old "run like a little bitch" maneuver. Heh! Another successful escape. Booyah.

More normal?

The guy tried to stab at me, but I was already moving to dodge. As soon as I saw that damn thing I knew shit was gonna get real. So you can bet your ass I was ready to bounce. The man missed my by a hairsbreadth even so, turning my blood cold. Not daring to stop now, I quicky took off my jacket and threw it at him. While he was distracted, I ran. Like Usain Bolt onsteroids. Or more accurately, like a man fleeing for his life from some psycho with a knife.

I didnt quite feel like being shanked today, thank you very much!

...well I dunno what exactly you had in mind tho so I'm just offering examples. Use any of them if you want.

yeahh i wanted to learn the badass one
 
D

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But i evaded it and the guy tripped and fall

"the boss! this shitty brat!"

the other guys also comes after me

guy one tried to punch me but i evaded it and counter attack by punching his gut

the guy who was helping the boss stand up also comes after with a knife i evaded it again and got his hand and broke it

" guaah!!"

"kuh! this kid is a bad news let's go"

the boss said and started running

but i wont let you get away

I rushed to the boss and hit him in the nape same for the other guys and they lose their consciousness


I feel like my writing is a mess lol
Try it like this...

----

But I evaded it, so the guy tripped and fell.

"The boss!" his men were shocked, but it was short-lived. Soon, they turned to me, "Why, this brat..." (It's better if you include his enemies' expressions; makes the passage more exciting.)

One of them eventually reached me and threw a punch, which I narrowly dodged. I countered his attack with a fist to his gut. (Break down your sentence in this part, as well as try to use a variety of descriptive words.)

"GUAHH!"

"Kuh! This kid is bad news!" the boss told his men, and they began to retreat. "Let's go!" (Here, I combined your two sentences, and created a more interesting result.)

However, I won't let them get away...

I rushed directly towards the boss and hit him in the nape. The same goes to the other guys, and everyone lost their consciousness.

----

In writing action scenes, it would be helpful--as well as exciting and immersive--if you put in some of the reactions of the characters (especially since your POV is in First Person). Were they surprised? Shocked? Angry? Don't be afraid to insert those. Hope this helps!
 

CupcakeNinja

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yeahh i wanted to learn the badass one
If you want, go ahead and use that one then. Just change it a bit to suit your needs.

Since I'm kinda into it now, here's an even better one in third person:
He tried to stab at him. Bad move. A Maddox wasn't going to go down from some random asshole with a pig sticker like that.

Aiden didnt even bother to dodge. He simply reached out and grabbed the man's wrist before the blade could even touch him. Too slow.

Aiden had a good five inches on the bastard and he stared him down like a wolf eying his prey. His smile was absolutely dreadful.

"You want to know what happened to the last guy who pissed me off? I spanked him, took his money and fucked his girlfriend. Guess what I'm going to do to you."

The smell of asparagus immediately flooded his nose.

....so many ways to do it! Third person I feel just allows you to offer little details that can add a lot to the story.
 

Freesia.Cutepearl

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Here's an example

"You better give us all your belongings if you wanna live long"

the guy pointed his knife at me

"Iyada"

"Huuuuh?! what's wrong with this brat?!" the guy tried to stab me but

and then i don't know how write this

"Give us your stuff if you want to keep breathing!" the thug yelled as he brandished a knife towards my chest.

'What is this guy thinking? We're in the middle of the market!' I think to myself.

"I'd rather not." I reply flatly.

"Bitch, don't try me." he growls angrily at me as he swings the knife wildly towards my neck.

Leaning back I barely dodge the tip of the blade, as he steps forward with his right foot to maintain his balance I grab his arm and pull him further in the direction of the swing, using his own body weight and momentum against him as he stumbles forward. He managed to avoid falling over so I use my foot to kick his before he can finish his step and recover his balance.

I let go of his arm to not be dragged to the ground with him as he falls, unfortunately he managed to grab my leg on his way down and I fall backwards into a stall and get covered in hot soup. Thankfully it's not scalding hot but it does hurt quite a bit. Trying to sit up the stall collapses and I find myself on the ground half covered in food items and can feel some splinters in my arm and part of my back.

While still dazed, the world around me moves as I'm drug by my foot back into the street. Looking up as best I can, my vision is filled with the upper half of the thug, as he tries to punch me in the face. I twist to the left as much as possible and his fist barely slips past my head to impact with the ground. As he recovers, I try to roll away to the left but he still has my foot so I only managed to roll a bit to his side, twisting my foot a bit in the process.

As he lifts up his fist for another try, I grab his arm and pull him down and to the side, trying to twist his body so that I can roll over on top of him. However, I only managed to roll him on the ground beside me. Unluckily for him, my knees happen to be just below his stomach so I knee him in the groin as hard as I can.

As the pain consumes him he releases me and I take the opportunity to roll over on top of him and before he can recover I spit in his eyes as I scoop up a handful of dirt and throw it in his face. Satisfied, I stand up, minding my lightly injured ankle and shifting most of my weight away from it, I 'walk' up to the nearby drink stand and ask for some pineapple juice, reaching into my pocket and pulling out my coin purse, I toss 3 copper coins in front of the still gawking man.

As the coins rattle onto the wooden surface he snaps out of his daze, with a shaky voice he replies, "Uh, yes miss."

Grabbing a cup he fills it and hands it to me. I smile and say "Thanks," before downing the entire thing in seconds, voicing my relief afterwards, "Aaaaah!"

------
Not sure why I felt compelled to do that, hopefully it is interesting or helps in some way. I just kind of had a scene form in my head as I thought about how you started. I've not really written much before. Apologies if it's bad.

Hope you have a wonderful day and figure things out ^.^
 
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