A noble dismantling the ruling class

[AritheAlien]

Yes, I am talking about my own fiction.​

I am migrating from RR to here, since the BL reader pool there is really tiny. I am open to feedbacks and critiques, and comment swaps, please reach me from DMs or by this thread.

Happy writing and reading.

(Also, can someone tell me how to edit my signature so I can showcase my fiction?)

 

[Macha]

Yes, I am talking about my own fiction.​

I am migrating from RR to here, since the BL reader pool there is really tiny. I am open to feedbacks and critiques, and comment swaps, please reach me from DMs or by this thread.

Happy writing and reading.

(Also, can someone tell me how to edit my signature so I can showcase my fiction?)

Welcome to SH where paying for ads isn't the only way to gain traction. Don't forget to join the BL Palace Discord: https://discord.gg/xgJ3RCeE5h

 

[Rookieqw]

One thing I noticed is about dialogues:

“Thanks for the fire.” I said, exhaling a plume of smoke, and waited for him to bring the topic again, a silent challenge in the air. He did.

It should be


“Thanks for the fire,” I said, exhaling a plume of smoke, and waited for him to bring up the topic again, a silent challenge in the air. He did.

Since "speaking" action comes before "physical action.

Next:

What is wrong with this man? Why does he speak like he comes from another era? Frustration within me exploded, a flush of heat rising to my face. Ignoring the tightening in my chest, I said,

And

Man, he does stand out. He wasn't just tall;

I think you should mark these as thoughts:

What is wrong with this man? Why does he speak like he comes from another era? Frustration within me exploded, a flush of heat rising to my face. Ignoring the tightening in my chest, I said,

Man, he does stand out. He wasn't just tall;

Since they are in present tense, and most of the story you are writing is in the past tense (though not always; that, too, needs to be checked).

Just keep in mind, I'm the worst writer around these parts, so take any advice from me with caution and distrust.

Best of luck, and welcome to SH!

 

[Zenftiy]

Welcome. And yes, this site full of gay people.

including me

 

[AritheAlien]

One thing I noticed is about dialogues:


It should be


“Thanks for the fire,” I said, exhaling a plume of smoke, and waited for him to bring up the topic again, a silent challenge in the air. He did.

Since "speaking" action comes before "physical action.

Next:

And


I think you should mark these as thoughts:

What is wrong with this man? Why does he speak like he comes from another era? Frustration within me exploded, a flush of heat rising to my face. Ignoring the tightening in my chest, I said,

Man, he does stand out. He wasn't just tall;

Since they are in present tense, and most of the story you are writing is in the past tense (though not always; that, too, needs to be checked).

Just keep in mind, I'm the worst writer around these parts, so take any advice from me with caution and distrust.

Best of luck, and welcome to SH!

Thank you so much! Editing will be my downfall. Also, writer or not, what matters you extended your hand to me (my literal filth wrapped in philosophical filth), be kind to yourself.

Welcome to SH where paying for ads isn't the only way to gain traction. Don't forget to join the BL Palace Discord: https://discord.gg/xgJ3RCeE5h

OH, I did not know about the discord, lemme jump. Thank you!