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- Thread starter The_best
- Start date
Tempokai
The Overworked One
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2021
- Messages
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You are not entitled for readers. Remember, you're yet another peddler in the Webnovel Realm, trying to sell your webnovel to random immortals that are passing by in the Vegas of WN called SH.
If you think that you don't have readers in your novel, it's 1) your persuasion game is lacking, and passing by readers are not willing to read past the synopsis, 2) readers read your story and found the story lacking in some ways and unwilling to engage with it, 3) you haven’t posted long enough for your desired reader to see it in the wild, and finally 4) your expectations are overblown compared to the actual value of the story.
The only thing you could do is to continue posting, hoping that readers will come, or lower your expectations.
If you think that you don't have readers in your novel, it's 1) your persuasion game is lacking, and passing by readers are not willing to read past the synopsis, 2) readers read your story and found the story lacking in some ways and unwilling to engage with it, 3) you haven’t posted long enough for your desired reader to see it in the wild, and finally 4) your expectations are overblown compared to the actual value of the story.
The only thing you could do is to continue posting, hoping that readers will come, or lower your expectations.
Tsuru
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2019
- Messages
- 1,443
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- 153
1) Too generic title
2) Cover is a male
3) Too generic mc name Lin Fan among the billions of Lin Fan
4) Xianxia copy paste look alike (not to say its a bad series but its the impression it gives. And trying a new series is like blind dating, bad looks = not interested to try)
5) Not attractive sypnosis
6) Not smut
7) Need 50+ chap to get surge of readers, bc people are tired of 3-15chaps series that are masterpieces but dropped for some reason by author
tldr :
Go look up competitors how they do it (raw 2025 nowadays series, also btw chinese readers now disdain faceslap series), and read more
2) Cover is a male
3) Too generic mc name Lin Fan among the billions of Lin Fan
4) Xianxia copy paste look alike (not to say its a bad series but its the impression it gives. And trying a new series is like blind dating, bad looks = not interested to try)
5) Not attractive sypnosis
6) Not smut
7) Need 50+ chap to get surge of readers, bc people are tired of 3-15chaps series that are masterpieces but dropped for some reason by author
tldr :
Go look up competitors how they do it (raw 2025 nowadays series, also btw chinese readers now disdain faceslap series), and read more
ShrimpShady
The One With the Wurlitzer
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2019
- Messages
- 532
- Points
- 133
Alright, I'll bite. I'll assume that in your heart of hearts, you're posting because you really want some feedback.
I have to admit I'm not familiar enough with xianxia to understand most of the terms you're throwing around, so you'll have to excuse me if I come across as ignorant at points. I'll be talking about your story as an edgy, over-the-top fantasy action romp.
You've decided to attempt one of the harder openings to sell in an action story: the crazy fight scene with no context. This is hard for several reasons, many of which your opening failed to rectify IMO. First, we don't know these characters. In one corner, you have the guy who has reincarnated as Lin Fan, who has a dark backstory that's explained so glibly in the prologue that it barely feels like an integrated part of his character and more of an excuse to make him a sadistic badass. In the other corner, you have... a tiger, I guess? It can breathe fire, I guess. Not the most compelling matchup.
That'd all be fine if the fight itself was a cool spectacle, paced well, or was compelling in some other way. However, I think the opening flounders in this department as well. The narration for the most part is alright. It isn't awkward to read or anything, except for a single standout example.
The amount of monologuing Lin Fan does also grinds the fight's pacing to a halt. I get that he's meant to be a showy cool guy, but I think he needs to shut up sometimes, especially in the middle of fights. Also, bits of the narration feel a bit redundant because they repeat details already stated before. It kills the pacing.
However, I think the biggest detriment to this fight scene is simply the lack of intrigue. It can be summarized with a simple chart:
Tiger leaps at Lin Fan ---> Lin Fan dodges ---> Lin Fan punches ---> Tiger breathes fire ---> Lin Fan makes a barrier ---> Lin Fan dishes the killing blow
At no stage of the fight did I feel there was tension or the impression that it would go in an interesting or unexpected direction. Sure, Lin Fan is caught off-guard for a moment by the tiger breathing fire, but that lasts all but 1 paragraph.
There are a myriad of ways to make this fight scene more interesting, despite it happening between a guy we don't really know about and an animal. You could make the combatants utilize the terrain in a unique way. You could introduce some element of strategy to the engagement. Maybe the tiger's brighter than the average animal (I don't know how smart the animals are in these stories). You could even pull out an even more sick and badass power out of Lin Fan's pocket, making the fight a bloody spectacle. Ending the fight on a kick when the only previous move was a punch felt like a massive missed opportunity.
The reason why I harp so much on the opening fight scene is that the issues persist into the subsequent chapters. The whole extended wedding crash fight kinda felt like a fever dream, just a continuous stream of faceless dudes being sent to die in one hit. I understand Lin Fan's overpowered, but there's not much interest in following a story where everything happens exactly how you expect it to. I'll be honest, I did end up sort of rooting for the guys fighting Lin Fan because again, I have no idea who any of these people really are and it's easy to root for the underdogs. Doubly so in a fight where the stakes are a mystery, so you have nothing else to latch onto. I don't know if this was your intention.
One last thing, I don't know if you intended for Lin Fang to be an edgy badass that readers are meant to begrudgingly like, or if you intended for him to be kind of cringe, like you're meant to laugh at him a little bit. His badass sicko mode one-liners were kinda impotent. And I think he does that smile a bit too much. I get it, but I think there are other ways to express his sadistic streak.
I have to admit I'm not familiar enough with xianxia to understand most of the terms you're throwing around, so you'll have to excuse me if I come across as ignorant at points. I'll be talking about your story as an edgy, over-the-top fantasy action romp.
You've decided to attempt one of the harder openings to sell in an action story: the crazy fight scene with no context. This is hard for several reasons, many of which your opening failed to rectify IMO. First, we don't know these characters. In one corner, you have the guy who has reincarnated as Lin Fan, who has a dark backstory that's explained so glibly in the prologue that it barely feels like an integrated part of his character and more of an excuse to make him a sadistic badass. In the other corner, you have... a tiger, I guess? It can breathe fire, I guess. Not the most compelling matchup.
That'd all be fine if the fight itself was a cool spectacle, paced well, or was compelling in some other way. However, I think the opening flounders in this department as well. The narration for the most part is alright. It isn't awkward to read or anything, except for a single standout example.
"With a sudden lunge, he punched the tiger hard in the stomach, which attempted to dodge but failed miserably" reads as if the tiger's stomach attempted to dodge, like independently of its body or something
However, I think the biggest detriment to this fight scene is simply the lack of intrigue. It can be summarized with a simple chart:
Tiger leaps at Lin Fan ---> Lin Fan dodges ---> Lin Fan punches ---> Tiger breathes fire ---> Lin Fan makes a barrier ---> Lin Fan dishes the killing blow
At no stage of the fight did I feel there was tension or the impression that it would go in an interesting or unexpected direction. Sure, Lin Fan is caught off-guard for a moment by the tiger breathing fire, but that lasts all but 1 paragraph.
There are a myriad of ways to make this fight scene more interesting, despite it happening between a guy we don't really know about and an animal. You could make the combatants utilize the terrain in a unique way. You could introduce some element of strategy to the engagement. Maybe the tiger's brighter than the average animal (I don't know how smart the animals are in these stories). You could even pull out an even more sick and badass power out of Lin Fan's pocket, making the fight a bloody spectacle. Ending the fight on a kick when the only previous move was a punch felt like a massive missed opportunity.
The reason why I harp so much on the opening fight scene is that the issues persist into the subsequent chapters. The whole extended wedding crash fight kinda felt like a fever dream, just a continuous stream of faceless dudes being sent to die in one hit. I understand Lin Fan's overpowered, but there's not much interest in following a story where everything happens exactly how you expect it to. I'll be honest, I did end up sort of rooting for the guys fighting Lin Fan because again, I have no idea who any of these people really are and it's easy to root for the underdogs. Doubly so in a fight where the stakes are a mystery, so you have nothing else to latch onto. I don't know if this was your intention.
One last thing, I don't know if you intended for Lin Fang to be an edgy badass that readers are meant to begrudgingly like, or if you intended for him to be kind of cringe, like you're meant to laugh at him a little bit. His badass sicko mode one-liners were kinda impotent. And I think he does that smile a bit too much. I get it, but I think there are other ways to express his sadistic streak.