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So you only care about getting a bigger audience? I thought you wrote for fun? No apology for such a mistake? Just another assumption. How about you start asking actual questions instead of making assumptions about me. I mean you brought up audiences and there are more people reading my work...

I make no money from this and don't plan to. I get pleasure from telling the story and there are some parts of telling the story that I don't enjoy and will work on less. Very strange that you take a sentence that mentions writing a story for free and assume I'm all about making money. Kind of...

This site has, and is mostly comprised of, amateur writers. Myself included. Why wouldn't they write a poor first chapter? It's likely kind of iffy all the way through. They started with an idea and are trying to get to the part that interests them the most as quickly as possible. I do my best...

I think you are introducing too much and giving too little. Nothing really hooks me to read it. Try to cut the scope down and give someone some action. A lot of things happen to Collin yet nobody is doing anything. The only decision made is to visit their hometown and that isn't even the main...