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  1. MFontana

    [18+] Requesting Feedback on Erotica Scene Lead-In Draft

    Thank you, Macha. I can only assume that this means you enjoyed the read, and that is enough. Also, sorry for dropping it in the wrong place. So... there. That's something you can complain about. ?
  2. MFontana

    Weekly update is on the main SH profile. Short version: The Elarian Chronicles: Chapter 2...

    Weekly update is on the main SH profile. Short version: The Elarian Chronicles: Chapter 2 revisions ~20% complete - Aestelle Nocte: Chapter 2 Draft Notes Completed - Aethara: Chapter 3 Draft Notes ~5% Complete
  3. MFontana

    [18+] Requesting Feedback on Erotica Scene Lead-In Draft

    In compliance with the Forum rules, this thread is being tagged 18+, even though it does not feature any explicit sexual content (No explicit sex in the scene, just a detailed make-out bit and implicit direction towards sex). While personally, I'd say the scene would fall under the R-rating...
  4. MFontana

    First Chapter Opening - Feedback on Prose & Hook (please)

    Okay. Starting on the Prose, from a technical standpoint. There is a solid bare-bones structure, but overall a lot of room for improvement. For starters, the paragraphs, if they can be called that through most of it, are barely more than a sentence, with a few exceptions here and there. (A...
  5. MFontana

    Writing What is the lore in your fiction?

    I'm actually writing a "series" for the lore and history of the setting for all of my stories on here. As for the lore stuff included in that, and my other works, here's a general rundown of the topics covered. Was there anything in particular you were curious about, El, or were you just asking...
  6. MFontana

    Is this offensive?

    I may not be the best person for this, but I found it funny. And inspiring. Thanks for sharing it.
  7. MFontana

    I need advice on narration

    Personally, I'd say cut the "narrator" entirely if you're writing the narrative in first person. Just stick to the PoV you want to use throughout. Consistency is important, and sharp, or sudden, changes in perspective can be jarring to a reader. If you're intent on using the 'narrator' PoV...
  8. MFontana

    Character Descriptions (How to Do It Properly?) (Ignore)

    Okay, quick notes. The revisions are definitely a vast improvement over the original, but you've still got a long way to go. As a general rule (and piece of advice), Description should follow Action. Also, as a light nitpick; "shoulderless" should probably be "sleeveless" and "anklewear" should...
  9. MFontana

    Hoshi's Feedback thread

    Thank you, Hoshino, for taking the time to look them over. I appreciate the honesty, and your input. I will keep all of that in mind while I continue working on the stories moving forward into the year ahead, and I do hope you have a happy, and fortuitous, new year as well. EDIT: I updated the...
  10. MFontana

    What's the most difficult thing about writing story content?

    Thanks, El. I do tend to try to do that most of the time. It's just that some characters end up being harder than others, and settling on the 'perfect' name for them is hard for me.
  11. MFontana

    What's the most difficult thing about writing story content?

    Names. For me the hardest thing is coming up with (and remembering) names. Name-Generators are our friends. After that, probably managing the amount of detail that I put into describing things to keep it from slowing the parts of a story that should flow faster. Third... probably writing blurbs...
  12. MFontana

    ? Happy New Year! ?

    Happy New Year everyone
  13. MFontana

    Okay, just added a profile banner too. (Artist: Steve Southwell aka Southy - MechaKraken on...

    Okay, just added a profile banner too. (Artist: Steve Southwell aka Southy - MechaKraken on DeviantArt, though I don't know if he's posted any new art there yet. Not sure if he's on SH.)
  14. MFontana

    Hoshi's Feedback thread

    I wish (Maybe one day). But nope. Just me. Also, I've made most (all) of those mistakes in the beginning too. First the latter, then the former (in overcompensation). As my profile states, my name is Mike Fontana. No alternate here, though I did, admittedly, consider registering under a...
  15. MFontana

    Hoshi's Feedback thread

    Thanks for the input, Macha. I do appreciate you taking the time to check things out, and jump in with your own feedback too. I'll keep it in mind, but, for clarity on my intent, I was hoping more for critique and feedback on the prose and writing when I asked. What's working well, and what...
  16. MFontana

    Hoshi's Feedback thread

    Good day, and a Happy New Year to you, Hoshino I've got three series up right now, and would welcome feedback and critique on any (or all) of them at your leisure. I should also probably warn you in advance, that my writing style is built upon dense, thematic and descriptive prose, and may not...
  17. MFontana

    Updated the signature to include all three of my main series projects now, with working links...

    Updated the signature to include all three of my main series projects now, with working links. Happy New Year everyone.
  18. MFontana

    Webnovel Feedback Roasts For the Fearless

    Adding the third series into the list. This one is my main project, and one that I've mentioned a few times already as 'Duskfall'. Planned as a five-volume series, and listed here by its series name. As before, I am open to any (and all) critique. If it's good? Great. I'd like to know why. If it...
  19. MFontana

    The Elarian Chronicles (Volume 1 of 5) Discussion Thread

    For those who may be interested, or those who are already reading it, Chapter 1.2 for Duskfall (The Elarian Chronicles - Volume 1) just dropped and brings the total chapter length up to 9,051 words (divided into two parts for easier reading). The legend begins, as does the journey. I'd greatly...
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