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It is I. The winner.

Nonexistent.

No, I am winning

I'm winning by learning the new pope was born in Chicago.

Sleep is for the weak.

I'm winning by staying up late.

Or it might be the sound of your hello

I voted physical pain because going through it can cause emotional pain. The other way around would only happen in the most extreme of cases.

On a bustling street, our dashing, dapper, and debonair reporter presents a mircophone to a lucky gentleman. "Hello Sir, how excited are you to answer my mandatory question?" "Actually, I am a lady." She interjects with a furrowed brown. "Really, I couldn't tell! Now on to the question. Mr?"...

Hmm

I'm winning by not drinking lemon water.

I'm winning by being bored.

I am winning by being at work.

I'm winning by getting ready to shower.

I'm winning by watching anime.

I am winning by waking up.

I am winning by going to lay down in an unmade bed.

Shucks

I am winning. I am always winning. I will always win. I am all powerful. I am above you pitiful mortals. I am God. You will bow before me! Kneel! Kneel!