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  1. Ellie_in_Pink

    Are litrpgs modern pulp fiction?

    I mean ... I guess they can be? As much as any other genre? Romance, horror, adventure, fantasy ... they've all had their pulp eras. I think LitRPG is just a subsect of the fantasy genre Which tells you the flavor of the story, more than anything about its construction. That being said, it is...
  2. Ellie_in_Pink

    Would like feedback on my first ever Action/Fighting scene

    Short chapter? Perfect for reviewing. Let's crack this bad girl open and check what's under the hood! Clean up dialogue by merging it with action when the person speaking and the person performing the action are the same. You'll save on confusion and dialogue tags. Next, you need to...
  3. Ellie_in_Pink

    Anyone else struggle to write romance

    Romance is like pineapple on pizza. Not for everyone, and a pizza still can be every bit as delicious without it. If you don't enjoy writing it, the reader won't enjoy reading it. So just ... write what you like.
  4. Ellie_in_Pink

    Changed the writing, is it better now?

    Well it's a loose order, and not every description will be applicable to every situation. But the baseline is light (we need to know how bright everything is, thus how much we can expect to see.) Then dimensions (a loose description of how big a space is). Then texture (sights, sounds...
  5. Ellie_in_Pink

    Changed the writing, is it better now?

    I read the opening of chapter 1 and the opening of chapter 6. Focusing on the opening because that is where description is most important. Without description there, the rest of the chapter ends up looking like white space in a reader's head. And I will honestly say that that has no improved...
  6. Ellie_in_Pink

    Favorite Roguelikes?

    Brotato ... does that count?
  7. Ellie_in_Pink

    A Professional Inappropriate Question

    Hm ... how to put this ... delicately. Instead of internet-based titillation, staying up at night making up exciting scenarios in my head for what I would like to happen. In great detail. After that, just put in on the page. You'll never write good smut by just trying to imitate or fill a check...
  8. Ellie_in_Pink

    Concerned About Ratings

    So the other people here gave some good answers to a lot of your questions. But since you were also looking for feedback, I thought I'd offer some ... ... as I may be ;) Firstly, I see why people like your work. You paint clear pictures with your words, instead of leaving it to guesswork. You...
  9. Ellie_in_Pink

    Zombie apocalypse: Would you survive?

    I am now your Zombie Queen, because I got the best ending. Bow before me and my undead legions! And quake with fear!
  10. Ellie_in_Pink

    What are the top 5 features on Scribblehub?

    I only fall into most of those stereotypes, thank you very much! lol
  11. Ellie_in_Pink

    Time machine!!! The first book you wrote

    I actually have all the drafts of my first book saved. Also written in highschool. And dear satan, the first draft is the worst thing I have ever read.
  12. Ellie_in_Pink

    I need your Irrational Fears

    Mannequins with faces drawn on them. Not just one ... but hundreds ... all around. At a wig shop. They were just ... watching me. No matter where I went. Oh, and the open sky. I'm afraid to look at the sky at night, because some part of me is convinced that gravity will reverse and I'll end up...
  13. Ellie_in_Pink

    Feedback to new author

    Sounds good. Of course, I'm sure you'll want to do a full edit to work out more of the changes you want to make. So I'll just focus in what has definitely been improved and what hasn't. 1. Readability. You pulled together the paragraphs, varied them in length, and made this SO much more...
  14. Ellie_in_Pink

    Would you rather…?

    2 Fewer people means fewer variables to deal with while already stressed with figuring out how to survive. Especially when all those people have guns. Plus ... bear and wolves vs dinosaurs + diseases that the human immune system has never encountered. I'm used to bears and wolves, even on my...
  15. Ellie_in_Pink

    3 Series/Fictional Pieces of Media That Inspired Your story?

    I've been influenced as much as any author by the stories I've read. But for the book I have here, I think I went the opposite route. I wrote something I wanted to exist in some form, but could never find.
  16. Ellie_in_Pink

    Feedback to new author

    That's great! I do recommend redrafting your first chapter with what you've learned. Just because it will help you hook readers, so they give you a chance. Feel free to let me know when you do, if you'd like any more feedback.
  17. Ellie_in_Pink

    Feedback to new author

    Hi! So I've been studying the first chapter. And there's a ton you do really well. You know how to concisely use language. You show instead of telling. You publish chapters with a high degree of polish. It actually took me a while to figure out what was missing, which is high praise. But I did...
  18. Ellie_in_Pink

    Tips in keeping consistency in editing.

    Absolutely. Especially if editing is new to you.
  19. Ellie_in_Pink

    Tips in keeping consistency in editing.

    To keep consistent with editing, you can't let yourself think of everything. All your works, all the ways they could be improved. Do that, and you'll burn yourself out in short order. You have to narrow everything down into manageable chunks, knowing that editing will be kind of a permanent part...
  20. Ellie_in_Pink

    Soverein Believers (Dark and Urban Fantasy/Philosophical Fiction)

    I agree. I suppose the more concise way to phrase what I was saying was that the OP needs to show *more*. I do see that the effort was there to accomplish that in the first place, to show not tell, which is awesome. It just still suffers from ambiguity.
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