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Nothing inherently wrong with the writing itself, just a lack of experience. Your artistic touch is still developing, but it is there. Example: There , "Humans" gathered. Or their facsimile at least. They formed groups of strangely cohesive unity, where the movement of their bodies would sway...

:blob_neutral: You will get a visit.

:blob_neutral: I will see to it. PS. I dont like stuff that cant take itself seriously. Humour and seriousness dont exclude each other.

:blob_neutral: I want my money back. Why were you scared? No need to hide.

Your language is a bit dramatising, at times, but that is more of a choice of style, so ... I like your dialogues. “What if…” The boy started. “What if I can get you out? What if the Gate opens for you, too?” Where he expected some kind of surprise or joy, he was met with laughter. What was...

I feel how my energy is drained. This is not even writing wise. The writing itself can be good, it looks bad from a purely graphical perspective. A nonchalant wall of text. Not visually stimulating at all. For inspiration. What you can theoretically do with words. The arrangement of words alone...

General writing advice. Short chapters. Reader attention degrades severely after 2000 words. Some might endure 3000, but the attention span is usually lower. So if you happen to be one of these dense authors with detailed descriptions and much rambling. Don't do it. Don't write long chapters...

@J_Chemist https://www.scribblehub.com/read/513014-the-blessed-child-v-the-ravine/chapter/513022/

:blob_neutral: So how this entire thread thing work? All I ever posted were site improvement suggestions and angry rants. :blob_unsure: This feels strangely ... constructive, for the lack of a better term.