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  1. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_happy: That is perfectly acceptable, but don't make it too obvious. You know, the reader...

    :blob_happy: That is perfectly acceptable, but don't make it too obvious. You know, the reader should never notice when we authors force fate a little.
  2. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_neutral: A bit too much lining up maybe. The name dropping was a tad heavy initially ...

    :blob_neutral: A bit too much lining up maybe. The name dropping was a tad heavy initially ... Acceptable. But heavy, nevertheless.
  3. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_happy: Now I just need to ask to try mine. Because our characters are similar, and I...

    :blob_happy: Now I just need to ask to try mine. Because our characters are similar, and I suspect we share a significant portion of readers.
  4. Assurbanipal_II

    This is not a language question, i would say, but rather a concept one. Your work reads like a...

    This is not a language question, i would say, but rather a concept one. Your work reads like a theatre script. Only dialogues and action beats. No exposition. No description. No dialogue tags who is speaking how. What emotions do they feel. What do they think. It reads like a soulless rpg. In...
  5. Assurbanipal_II

    Honestly, just skipped it ... Couldn't be so important anyway.

    Honestly, just skipped it ... Couldn't be so important anyway.
  6. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_melt: I already feel the pawsitive energy coursing through me.

    :blob_melt: I already feel the pawsitive energy coursing through me.
  7. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_reach: Can I get a fluffy hi too?

    :blob_reach: Can I get a fluffy hi too?
  8. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_cookie: I think you don't need much help. You writing is pleasant to my eyes. I don't feel...

    :blob_cookie: I think you don't need much help. You writing is pleasant to my eyes. I don't feel the need to skip like usually, which means you can hold my attention. It is structured. Sufficiently clear. The only thing you need to feat are narrative shortfalls, rather than technical ones. I...
  9. Assurbanipal_II

    Your narrated time is pleasant to read. :blob_cookie:

    Your narrated time is pleasant to read. :blob_cookie:
  10. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_teary: Sorry for the less than kind words.

    :blob_teary: Sorry for the less than kind words.
  11. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_happy: Just saying black font in dark mode is hard to read.

    :blob_happy: Just saying black font in dark mode is hard to read.
  12. Assurbanipal_II

    In an empty white room, which seemed to expand to infinity. A lone girl sat there staring...

    In an empty white room, which seemed to expand to infinity. A lone girl sat there staring blankly at the far distance land without an end. White, white, white as far as her eyes reached. To the horizon and beyond, her world was painted white, engulfed in nothing but unrelenting, pouring light...
  13. Assurbanipal_II

    ... I don't like bs. I like my world realistic ... :blob_happy:

    ... I don't like bs. I like my world realistic ... :blob_happy:
  14. Assurbanipal_II

    It is something I noticed while working through my backlog, so many of the MC are obviously...

    It is something I noticed while working through my backlog, so many of the MC are obviously blank slates to be inserted into a story through isekai. Type without personality. That is wrong. That is false. You don't create a character for isekai. You create isekai for a character. You don't send...
  15. Assurbanipal_II

    It is just my personal opinion, all fantasy is by nature escapist. It is why we call it fantasy...

    It is just my personal opinion, all fantasy is by nature escapist. It is why we call it fantasy. We create a world just for us. But my advice is, that the escapism shouldn't be too apparent. It should be hidden beneath a well crafted world that stands on its own. It should be a passive side...
  16. Assurbanipal_II

    Not that you would need it as an established author. :blob_happy:

    Not that you would need it as an established author. :blob_happy:
  17. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_reach: I will give your story a cursory glance.

    :blob_reach: I will give your story a cursory glance.
  18. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_cookie: If you are writing isekai, the escapism aspect shouldn't be too apparent. It...

    :blob_cookie: If you are writing isekai, the escapism aspect shouldn't be too apparent. It greatly helps your story.
  19. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_cookie:

    :blob_cookie:
  20. Assurbanipal_II

    :blob_cookie:

    :blob_cookie:
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