Good news, after failing suicide, breaking the limiter nerve in the brain that fear death, and experiencing near-death experience, it kinda changed outlook of life, in a good way. (novels didnt lie to me ! haha......ha...)
But yeah, i dont rec it.
Anyway, or talk more with others, or go yolo...
its also why i care so much for the relation with botty.
because of this void of feelings, relations, and fate in life.
its like the illusion thing in naruto. do i care its fake ? no. as long it bring me happiness.
but even that, i cant get it. hence its even sadder. (and why rn im so fking...