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Why is it broken up like this? I get the idea that you want to create pauses, but that's too much. oô Example: His obsession doesn't need a reason, but it does have a name - hers. <- Use that as the hook, if you want one. Sera Romano ran from her family’s empire and built a life she thought no...

So, since nobody else answered, you get no reply from the Gods of Writing, but the Asshole of the SH Forum: I literally only read the synopsis, because it's not my genre and, going by how little engagement the story garnered, maybe we should start with the obvious parts that should normally draw...

When it comes to the length of a synopsis: Think of the back of a printed novel and imagine your text on it. If it's too long to fit, you know it shouldn't be this long. Take it as a rule of thumb, until you gather enough experience. The author's note - and with that I mean that obsolete extra...

I currently have the same issue. This thread definitely existed before I went on my hiatus. :blob_hmm::blob_hmm_two:

Since nobody else answered: I'm not the person you would want to give you feedback in any of the book's contents, because I don't like hetero romance. But I do dark gay romance, so from that standpoint, I don't get why there is so much... going on? Like, I get it, people are being sissy about...

Yeah, that sounds like someone had a massive stroke. :blob_cookie:

The really old work? Bold of you to assume I actually look at that. :blob_cookie: Hell nah, do you want me to go back to my crippling depression phase? :blob_popcorn_two:

For once in my life, I will try to be a bit concise: "Show, don't Tell" is an important thing to note, especially to beginners. They tend to "Tell" every little aspect of the story, but especially those things that pertain to the personalities of their characters and how they develop. Unlike...

Even so, the fact that distinct "childishness", the incapability of comprehension on a certain level, even agrees with your textbook definition of the term "stupid". So don't get your panties in a twist - for once, it's really not that deep. :blob_cookie:

Oh boy, I play favorites like no other. I'm not ashamed of it. At the core, as soon as I get into a story that way lying around, I always get hyped up - if I didn't like the stories I write, I wouldn't bother with them in the first place, let alone write them down. But the most destructive fact...

Come here, Children - Grandpa is talking about the war again. :blob_cookie:

Congratulations! :blob_melt: :blob_aww: Take that feeling and let it be the fuel that gets you through the whole story. I will cheer you on while munching on my cookies over here. :blob_cookie:

Damn, I came back after all. This is a horrible habit of mine, I'm sorry. :blob_no: So, basically, I caught that. I think my own words might have been too unspecific. Around that part where I make the point of how much they wouldn't let him get near anyone, I meant to say that him wandering...

So, I did something that people do sometimes at four AM: I went to sleep. And now I came back to this. big sigh In other words, despite me explaining it, like, three times, you still don't get the point of "I'm using that as my go to, like saying 'Children are Children'" and still try to explain...

Same difference. You could argue that some adults are simple and not stupid. Some stupid people are smart in the weirdest ways as well. When I said they had their own intentions and already go to school, I accounted for things like reading, writing, and even performing in plays and holding...

That depends on the person. "Children are stupid" generally means that children are children. The 18-year-old in question either devolved or was likely worse in their reading at the age of ten. And they were likely not better than an 18-year-old. Conversely, an 18-year-old should not actually be...

That is so true. Though, the last story I read was about a literal 20-year-old that was treated like a toddler, so I think that's kind of refreshing by comparison. But yeah, I'm with @tiaf in that they likely just don't know any better. Then again, research works wonders. Children are stupid...

If you don't mind taking it from a nobody like me: I don't think your post was that far off. I mean, when it comes to first posts, mine became obsolete as well, to a certain degree, but even that has still some merit left, just like yours. Because these are questions that will eventually be...

So I just walked out of the room and came back to realize that you had actually posted something right before I sent the text that I wrote. Basically everything is now for naught, but aside from that, that extra bit of additional information makes the whole thing seem to be less kohesive of a...

I agree with what @MFontana said, but would also like to add: In a setting like this, even if it's about "true friendship", you will have to make sure to put in either a higher goal or a very close, deep reaching friendship; maybe the "villain" character had, in pursuit of his power, never let...