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Bought my mom chocolate for Valentines, so I hope not.

I will tell you as someone who wrote over 120k words in screenplay format, mixed with book for my "theme," that readers really don't seem to enjoy this. Paid for a few beta readers, and I mostly got the same ideas about it needing way more interiority/description than the format was capable of...

Sorry about it taking so long. Been trying to focus on my own writing, so I got a bit distracted: “Sage Cartwright broke her 2 month clean streak as she smoked a cigarette.” That line pops. And, combined with the relapse sentence right after it, I had super high hopes for the story out the...

You gotta wait for a manual approval. It's just one dude sorting through it I believe, so just give it time.

TLDR: Interesting take on an ethical question on how important agency is in romance. However, chapter 1’s execution relies on portraying how vulnerable the main character is, which makes this story feel less about courtship and more about a transfer of guardianship. You address this well with...

That's a "Don't do what you did last time, please" statement lol. Since you don't want anything too in-depth, I'll just rapid fire this one out now: You have a strong premise and an even stronger ending point, and I'd definitely keep reading. There's honestly two interesting ways you could...

Honestly, the only connection I have to warhammer is from sending issues of white dwarf for close to a decade. To be honest, it’s hard to get someone’s opinion on a fanfic when they don’t fully grasp the context behind the setting. But I’ll give you my opinion on it purely as a story and I hope...

I’ll keep this one short, because you’ve already got a great idea on where you’re going with this story. You've got an interesting premise, and I actually feel the chemistry between your characters, unlike most romance stories on this site. The character has supernatural bad luck? It’s...

I've written about 150k words total through a few accounts for my stories, and I've never got a single comment that wasn't from me talking to a friend and asking them to take a look at my work. I sent my stories to paid beta readers, and all they gave me was "this is generic and it sucked.” I’m...

I’ve been slacking super hard and didn’t get around to this as quickly as I should’ve, so I’m sorry about that. I want to start this off by saying I’m genuinely impressed with the amount of chapters you’ve put in. Sixty-six chapters and still posting once a week is more than most people ever get...

Read through it and I'll just give you a brief touch on each of your points: Characterization - Obviously the strongest aspect. Not much to say beyond the fact that I not only enjoyed most of the main cast, but they all seemed like completely unique people (especially Vaeroth). Show vs...

Work's been killing me so all of these are taking longer than they usually should. Hope I didn't take too long to get this to you boss: You actually have a very interesting mesh of plot points here, with: the emptiness of space, what crashed into them at the end/did it kill them, and what I...

This story has a ton of passion behind it, and it reminds me a ton of those stories I used to think up when I fell asleep, which is what inspired me to become a very unsuccessful writer. Because of this, I’ll work on trying to tackle what I felt as a reader, and what would’ve helped me read...

Not exactly published, but when I finished my first 90k word novel, I sent it into a beta reader because I was too excited and knew they'd love it as much as I did. Their response was telling me that I genuinely wrote a sixth grader (but a very enthusiastic one), and all my dialogue which I...

Going to start by saying that pretty much all of my comments will be formatted to fit my taste as a reader, not the overall health of your story: While reading this, I felt like I was trapped in the body of a robot while he experienced the world. He’s completely dissociated to most everything...

Most readers expect to see “I” used a ton in a first person story, so don’t ever beat yourself up if you see it a few dozen times in a chapter. I’ve realized that readers tend to notice these things far less than we do as writers. But, I’ll show you a few ideas I’ve come up since this repetition...

Before I start, I want to say that this shift from 600 word stories to a 7k word chapter was an undertaking for me. As such, a ton of my notes are probably disorganized. If anything felt confusing, unhelpful, or even if you feel like I overstepped my bounds, feel free to let me know: This is...

Concept wise, I really like this story. You have a unique voice that makes me question if I was misunderstanding the story, or if you were being intentionally ambiguous. What I believe needs to be tackled first and foremost is execution, not substance. I will also be attempting to give you my...

Before I start, I just want to let you know that I myself am a bit too old for YA stories, so I’ll say that what I’m sending you is not going to properly reflect the audience you’d probably have for this story: This piece grammatically lacks pretty much any flaws (or at least any that I’m able...

That's actually my fault, and I should've known based on the fact that you straight up said fly at one point (not sure how I missed that). I took a look at the previous chapter as well, and can see the readers wouldn't get confused with what was actually happening based on what they would've...