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  1. L1aei

    :blob_aww:

    :blob_aww:
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  2. L1aei

    [Girl Love] Have this premise been used before?

    Ah, a fellow scaly.
  3. L1aei

    [Girl Love] Have this premise been used before?

    Honestly, I feel like I brought a foil to a banana duel. :sweat_smile:
  4. L1aei

    You could read what you wrote out loud. That sometimes helps me catch where breaks in a sentence...

    You could read what you wrote out loud. That sometimes helps me catch where breaks in a sentence to breathe are needed too. :sweat_smile:
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  5. L1aei

    Does this explanation makes sense to you?

    It sounds like "May I Ask For One Final Thing?" Chronos-power.
  6. L1aei

    [Girl Love] Have this premise been used before?

    Yeah, I knew that... took me a moment to consider this. So, benefit of the doubt in that this isn't a fantasy of yours, I want to believe you are suggesting this to prove that no AI would've written that sort of girl's harem story because of how unhinged it would be. Please tell me I'm right...
  7. L1aei

    [Girl Love] Have this premise been used before?

    wat
  8. L1aei

    Never got into that game; Minecraft controlled me back then.

    Never got into that game; Minecraft controlled me back then.
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  9. L1aei

    The Last to Comment Wins

    Thank you. :blobthumbsup:
  10. L1aei

    [Girl Love] Have this premise been used before?

    Ever watched Netflix's Marco Polo? There's a subplot like that in there. To be clear: There's a subtle subplot in the Marco Polo series where some women in the Khan's harem show intimate affection toward each other, and a character name Chabi, well, the interactions with one of them carry a...
  11. L1aei

    The Last to Comment Wins

    What's Nice Nature?
  12. L1aei

    Disappearing comments?

    That's the immune system fighting off an infection; bots and scammers. :blobspearpeek:
  13. L1aei

    Look, Lenn's inner world is clear, but sometimes you're giving him a break from existing so he...

    Look, Lenn's inner world is clear, but sometimes you're giving him a break from existing so he can think through world details, and that momentum stalls. The resonance well trip feels like it should start transitioning to a driving force now. Know what I mean?
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  14. L1aei

    Yeah, this is definitely better. Lenn's taken center stage now with the memories becoming that...

    Yeah, this is definitely better. Lenn's taken center stage now with the memories becoming that pressure to drive Lenn instead of narration. Now that I'm thinking about pressure, I'm wondering if we should push the present a bit harder. Not by reducing anything already established in the past...
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  15. L1aei

    That's... nah, you are right. That really is a good point. Lenn is the protagonist here, but the...

    That's... nah, you are right. That really is a good point. Lenn is the protagonist here, but the grandfather is the one who's dominated the center stage. Too much more of him and it stops feeling like legacy and starts feeling like his story instead of Lenn's. I'm not saying cut the grandfather...
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  16. L1aei

    Came for the titts stayed for the story ???

    God, I need to find that fanfiction again where a waterbender waits for a guard to take a piss behind some bushes and then commits the most unholy act of waterbending imaginable. :sweat_smile:
  17. L1aei

    My Solution to Shoehorning

    Oh, not a classical red herring but what they were meant to be. Nice. :blob_popcorn:
  18. L1aei

    If you want feedback, which means you may tell me to shut up if you don't want to hear it, but I...

    If you want feedback, which means you may tell me to shut up if you don't want to hear it, but I do suggest when Lenn walks to school, those snippets you wrote about his grandfather's advice could be better expressed in the chapter as flashbacks; that would tie the scene to the current moment...
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  19. L1aei

    My Solution to Shoehorning

    This is good but I am a little concerned here because it introduces a plot device from the very beginning that the readers expect it to mean something, but if you keep that many chapters away from the main point of it existing, wouldn't this cause readers to see the mysterious book as a Chekov's...
  20. L1aei

    My Solution to Shoehorning

    Hey now, there's some merit to this thread, like how do you foreshadow without screaming the answer through a megaphone because I'd be too excited it exists, you know? :blob_joy:
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