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There are some things you just can't take back, just like the lunch money I took from you just now. Life is too short not to take your lunch money. Never bite the hand that feeds you, bully it into feeding you more. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, even if there isn't much of a horse to...

Tgw can't score. There are things you just can't take back. Thankfully, your firstborn's spine is not one of them. Life is too short. *literally dies while typing this* Never bite the hand that feeds you. You have to marinate and roast it first. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, I did it...

Sometimes, when I lie in bed, I think about all those times that have past and I think about how they'll never return again and I feel sad, maybe. Or bittersweet, at least. Good night.

Tried venison. Kinda like beef. Maybe it was cooked like that (stewed)

Wdym im human I can even pick all the firehydrants on images

A very big children's book and a shiny lamp/lantern-thingy

I know I'm biting the bait but this is hilarious https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-takes-aim-canada-greenland-panama-canal-christmas-day-posts-rcna185416

Love xmas. Get a slave to dress in all red and wear a white beard, and u get sooo much food. Ah, I'll be going to a food coma now...

Wut. It's the holiday when they gift me free coal, tf u cooking?

No. I'm more of a Saturnalia person. Or at least a hanukkah person.