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Happy new year!

Do you want to become a weird cat lady like your Aunt?

I am trying to make something out of you!

She's trynna groom you, muffin. Don't believe her. You are not fine if you don't want to abduct children

It's Aug 23

Seymour Bin Laden?

Firstly, rude. Secondly, thank you for the compliment. Thirdly, I'll keep you in suspence, botty.

I never bothered to remember. That's what enslaved poltergeist attendants are for

?

This song is as old as my niece.

And now this? Where did you go wrong?

So adolescents with daddy issues? Sigh. Can't you be more normal? Please? What happened to that penchant of killing and burying neighbours pets when you were in kindergarten, or that violent streak back in middle school? Did you know how proud I was when I was called to school and the school...

When neighbour's children either bring diplomas from Harvard or their enemies' severed heads my daughter intends to bring either cute dogs or adolescents with daddy issues. Swell.

please do make me proud. I hate being disappointed. And always know: I love you a lot, dear. How to take it is up to you.

But you are a kid, dear. You always will be for me. And I have said time and time again that I love you. I'd love you more as a doctor or lawyer, or under the teriyakki (or however it's called) sauce though.