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So the princess uses her time powers to set things up to help the "heroes" by arranging things like monster reinforcements being delayed, the summoned getting to places faster than they should and more? And how about the plot twist being that the "Heroes" are nothing more than diversions for the...

The link here goes to scribblehub.com/series/2215390/the-crack-in-heaven/ The actual address is scribblehub.com/series/2236458/the-crack-in-heaven-a-litrpg-progression-fantasy/

What do I like to see in a story? Originality Plot Properly formed characters No massive continuity holes! No overly convoluted plot. That is just off the top of my head!

Good start, but could go many ways. So maybe.

Before looking at the lore, I have to say you should not have presented to us as a chapter! I started reading hoping to get info, and I know I did not get all important things. This is what I can gather from it I would not be able to stand the stupidity of

The cold war would get kicked up a notch!

Or so she claims.

Scammer. Form letter so not even a human scammer. They used a form letter and did not even mention the name of your story. They did not even mention the name of the story, any specific or anything that would talk about the story. They did not even offer to link you to their portfolio if they are...

. . . . Just had a thought. Never a good thing in my case How many people write stories with a lesbian protagonist just as an excuse to create graphic lesbian fanfic or scenes? Come on, you KNOW some people would do it. Same with Gay protagonists. I also would not be surprised if a few...

Writing that she had been interested in the MC due to abandonment issues, and then hinting they get romantically closer during their breakups (possibly seen by her as a form of abandonment by her boyfriend and proxy for the MC) has me thinking them getting together could be them going down that...

There is an old saying: "Guy Fawks is the only man to enter Parliament with the honest intention of improving it."

. . . . Do the werewolf girls enter heat?

DC stories often have the DC feeding on people facing challenges. This is another type of challenge, where the delver has to think about things, and can help character growth as the delver is forced to confront how they feel about things?

How is the visibility? Is it night and the person wearing dark clothing? Are the car lights on? Why were they walking in the middle of the lane? For example, if it is a foggy night and they are wearing light clothing that blends in with the fog, then they would have been hit even if you were sober.

MC thought their fellow party member willingly left, but finds out latter they had been kicked out? This has happened a lot in manga, but there are a few ways to do it. First you have to deal with how the party reacts to their party losing a member. Sure a new member might be added, but they...

On Royal Road I wrote a story, Holy Uni. It is about a school for people who want a chance for godhood. Anyone can apply. ANYONE! There is a chapter where the Principle and Vice Principle discuss what to do with some students. It does not outright say what the students are into, but reading it...

If his name is actually something like Greg Gayman (Gay used to mean Happy, so it is actually reasonable) and he likes dressing flamboyantly, and other things associated with being homosexual, but turns out to be straight, it can be amusing. Expressly when other guys don't actually believe him...

Look at PR disasters One that comes to mind is from WW1. The Russian Tsar and his family wanted to drum up their public image, so they had a photoshoot showing his wife dressed in a nurse's uniform and attending to men in beds, intended to convey her helping the wounded soldiers. They were not...

If you are writing a story that is not sex focused, but are going to add some chapters with things people will not like even being mentioned, make those chapters skippable and mark them as such. Maybe summerise things in the following chapter if needed. If you go looking for smut, don't...

I had never read it, and looking it up in wikipedia, at 2333 chapters long, I don't think I will, expressly since there is no ending. If you want to use the system from Revend Insanity, people will consider it a fanfiction. If it is, mark the story as such, but that will mean you have the follow...