Every time I see the "What's new" tab on any site, my mind immediately goes "What's new, pussycat? WOOAwoaWoAAAA!"
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Only dads can come to your house for an hour, eat your food, have a really interesting conversation about religion, history, politics, work, surgery, and cars (in that order), and then leave.
And yes, he brought me a bottle of vodka and frozen pelmeni.
Good morning.
Mmm, pizza...
I don't actually exist, because there isn't any rule 34 of me.
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Little Red Riding Hood. One day, her mother sent her to bring cake and wine to her grandma who lived in a forest. Just as she entered the woods, an eldritch monster appeared on the path. She saw how handsome the monster was and fell in love.
"Good day, Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going?" the monster asked.
"Doesn't matter," she said. "You, me, bed now."
"W-what?"
Show me your Simple Russian Buns.
Please take a more normal pfp >_<
The H in SHF stands for "Horny"
I feel like I should go write for a bit and then go sleep at a reasonable-*checks time*-ish time.
MMMMMMMMMMUAH
MUAH MUAH MUAH MUAH!!!!! 
My ass is straight up not working. I need to actually start doing my job, because for the last four days I didn't do fuckall.
There lived a certain boi in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes, a flaming glow
Most people look at him with terror and with fear
But to SHF, he was such a lovely dear
He would steal limbs as an eldritch monster
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of creature
Women would desire
In Meow Meow Russia, jail goes to you~.
Sometimes, I really want to rob a bank. But then I remember that I would probably go to jail if I do.
SRB
Sexy Russian Babe
I want to eat something.
Six arm is the optimal number of arms. Any more and it would be more of a harm than helpful. -
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