I'm on the spectrum. Half of my immediate family is on the spectrum, but I still say retarded.
'Disabled' sounds more cringe than retarded though, I'd rather be called a retard like I call myself all the time, honestly. 'Disabled people' sounds kinda fucked up, doesn't it? I don't know, just my take on it. Silly me~
You know what, quagma is the one most obsessed with this word. For example, the last time I ever used it on the forums was probably during my exchange with them, and that was like a year ago. I don't know if you are a masochist or what, but you're the one that keeps bringing it up out of the blue.
Believe it or not, I stopped using R word as much after our exchange. Now, I just say people are r-slurred.