Just trying to air out my thoughts at the moment, they are are hard to put to words. Not because it is painful, but more like it is in a foreign language in which no words are spoken.
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Tsuru
Part 3 lore of Tsuru.
I got phobia of heights.
My IQ brain KNOW there is stuff to block falling.
Heck there are places with full glasses and stuff.
But my legs. TREMBLE.
THIS.
when young i didnt understand, but what you/I should learn from this, is that the shitty brain is sometimes full of BS. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH of it not controllable despite IQ in charge.
I got phobia of heights.
My IQ brain KNOW there is stuff to block falling.
Heck there are places with full glasses and stuff.
But my legs. TREMBLE.
THIS.
when young i didnt understand, but what you/I should learn from this, is that the shitty brain is sometimes full of BS. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH of it not controllable despite IQ in charge.
Tsuru
calm yourself, i ALSO experienced this shitty thing.
dont try to take deep breathes but more like : try to become a pool of fluid, or even, just put your body totally on the ground (even if dirty)
just do whatever, so your body is totally relaxed.
Dont worry.
calm yourself, i ALSO experienced this shitty thing.
dont try to take deep breathes but more like : try to become a pool of fluid, or even, just put your body totally on the ground (even if dirty)
just do whatever, so your body is totally relaxed.
ElijahRyne
I am afraid of large open areas, cars, large bodies of water, and being in a large crowd.
Also telephone poles.
Also telephone poles.
ElijahRyne
Typing is somewhat difficult for me, so the more I type, technically the more distracted I become. Nonetheless I am going to go read soon, get my head cleared.
Tsuru
tldr: find the best way so your body is totally utterly relaxed
heck make yourself nude, or go sit in a corner of the wall, gaze the sky, whatever. or like i said, prawl your body on the ground.
or do gendo pose.
or sit on toilet.
ah ! or sit in bath. heck wear your clothes on while bathing if you want. (its crazy but it work)
heck make yourself nude, or go sit in a corner of the wall, gaze the sky, whatever. or like i said, prawl your body on the ground.
or do gendo pose.
or sit on toilet.
ah ! or sit in bath. heck wear your clothes on while bathing if you want. (its crazy but it work)
Tsuru
anyway, to recap my words, dont try to fight or run from it.
bc its not your fault, but some bs braincells, that humans somehow cant discard during their millions of evolution.
and clearing head is the best way.
if reading works do it. (like you said)
if doing a angel-pose (snow) on the dirty ground works, do it.
smoking works? do it.
become a squid on your table and gazing in the emptiness works ? do it.
bc its not your fault, but some bs braincells, that humans somehow cant discard during their millions of evolution.
and clearing head is the best way.
if reading works do it. (like you said)
if doing a angel-pose (snow) on the dirty ground works, do it.
smoking works? do it.
become a squid on your table and gazing in the emptiness works ? do it.
ElijahRyne
I would not recommend smoking, because that will become an added anxiety on itself. I have never smoked, but as the son of a respiratory therapist I have heard some things. That is ignoring my smoke allergy.
Tsuru
bonus :
your (subconscious) brain is overloading and keep spinning and self-burning. like this video i saw of a dude having its car towed and try to launch it, but it turns in the air -> smoke.
your (subconscious) brain is overloading and keep spinning and self-burning. like this video i saw of a dude having its car towed and try to launch it, but it turns in the air -> smoke.
Tsuru
so yeah. Pretty sure your calm self Elijah would think in the future : "its so ez and dumb to solve but couldnt do it" + "but it sure hurted at that time"
like past me.
Bc its just that the stress is blurring your logic. And you will laugh as just a wry smile memory as you know its not your fault but DNA.
like past me.
Bc its just that the stress is blurring your logic. And you will laugh as just a wry smile memory as you know its not your fault but DNA.
Tsuru
And i knew, with 99% probability you werent a smoker.
Yep i know. Just figure of speech.
And i knew, with 99% probability you werent a smoker.
Tsuru
Anyway, write, speak, tell anecdotes, reminisces of stuff, read, sing, bathe, whatever.
= relax.
(despite this advice being utterly annoying to hear from others when you are the one suffering and not others and feel they cant understand your pain, cough tangent rant)
Its just the stupid self-preservation of your incontrollable part of your brain being a jackass to yourself.
ps : or be angry at your brain, it works
= relax.
(despite this advice being utterly annoying to hear from others when you are the one suffering and not others and feel they cant understand your pain, cough tangent rant)
Its just the stupid self-preservation of your incontrollable part of your brain being a jackass to yourself.
ps : or be angry at your brain, it works
Tsuru
also now small suggestion, dont listen to music and be in silence, and gaze in emptiness, imagine your young 5y/o self that did it in boredom.
heck open your mouth too to relax completely if needed, while saliva run down. (yes again its crazy thing but sometimes crazy solutions works)
heck open your mouth too to relax completely if needed, while saliva run down. (yes again its crazy thing but sometimes crazy solutions works)
Tsuru
or do it right now : listen to your breathing with mouth. (just did it, and welp its one relaxing point of yoga)
Heck i could do it together with you if you want XD
ps : sorry for yapyap spam >_<
Heck i could do it together with you if you want XD
ps : sorry for yapyap spam >_<
ElijahRyne
No, it is fine. I am reading.
Tsuru
To be honest, if anyone want to see a glimpse of what im like, im like Gigi Murin of Hololive.
She yapyap a lot. Even a recent video of it. (collab with kronii)
She yapyap a lot. Even a recent video of it. (collab with kronii)
Tsuru
but sadly, environment is not the same. If for her its fine to yap, or do jokes, or do horny stuff (or telling her traumas or exposing her low-energy depressed self). I cant. Bc im not surrounded by JP people that are kind educated.
I mean, sure you and some others are, but some arent.
I mean, sure you and some others are, but some arent.
Tsuru
If you can check my history while while ago, you can see how happy i was.
But recent times im far more ...........cough.
Right now i pulled out my inside-kind happy (well, not really happy as you are suffering) self, bc you are important and close.
I would have stayed like that if not for bunch of troubles like did in SHF.
But recent times im far more ...........cough.
Right now i pulled out my inside-kind happy (well, not really happy as you are suffering) self, bc you are important and close.
I would have stayed like that if not for bunch of troubles like did in SHF.
Tsuru
Looking at gigi is like looking at mirror.
Its speechlessly so similar that its funny and facepalming.
And not envious.
Bc im smart !!! (/smut-joking-tone)
Its speechlessly so similar that its funny and facepalming.
And not envious.
Bc im smart !!! (/smut-joking-tone)
The more your LOGIC will conflict with your ILLOGICAL (uncontrolled) part.
So its why i said : DONT THINK.