I think you don't need much help. You writing is pleasant to my eyes. I don't feel the need to skip like usually, which means you can hold my attention. It is structured. Sufficiently clear. The only thing you need to feat are narrative shortfalls, rather than technical ones. I wish your story good luck.
In an empty white room, which seemed to expand to infinity. A lone girl sat there staring blankly at the far distance land without an end.
White, white, white as far as her eyes reached. To the horizon and beyond, her world was painted white, engulfed in nothing but unrelenting, pouring light.
I enjoy going to islands with no signal, sitting and watching the sea with nothing but my thoughts alone, where my mind brew up stories that I can use in my novels and plan without ADHD acting up.