I wanted this one to have more feels. lol
I was told my first was too, "action driven" not enough emotion.
So, I guess I improved!! YAY!! I just didnt realize "more feels" meant "more girlish"
edit: he swaps back and forth from boy and girl. so its okay. lol
I wanted this one to have more feels. lol
I was told my first was too, "action driven" not enough emotion.
So, I guess I improved!! YAY!! I just didnt realize "more feels" meant "more girlish"
edit: he swaps back and forth from boy and girl. so its okay. lol
is it still too much? What do you think, should I change the whole thing or try to reduce it? I will fix it later for now I have to work for my small salary and for the synopsis what should be improved?
is it still too much? What do you think, should I change the whole thing or try to reduce it? I will fix it later for now I have to work for my small salary and for the synopsis what should be improved?
High schooler Xiao Ling almost loses her life while saving a child, only to awaken with the memories of her past identity as Su Yao, the Nine Tailed Heavenly Fox! Unfortunately, the world remembers her as the vicious Demon Queen from a blockbuster movie currently in theaters. In truth, Su...
www.scribblehub.com
High schooler Xiao Ling + the world remembers her as the vicious Demon Queen + Now trapped in the fragile body of an ordinary teenager + the once dignified immortal must endure her wildly inaccurate reputation
حسنًا، عاجلاً أم آجلاً، عليّ أن أقوم بدوري كشخص بالغ مسؤول وكعضو مسؤول في المجتمع.
أرسل لي قصتك
الشروط والأحكام:
1. أفضل المؤلفين الذين يواجهون صعوبة في اللغة الإنجليزية.
نعم، أقصد أولئك الذين يستخدمون الذكاء الاصطناعي كمساعد، وليس أولئك الذين يتركون الذكاء الاصطناعي يكتب النص بأكمله لمجرد زيادة عدد الكلمات. وبالتأكيد لا أقصد الترجمة الركيكة. سألاحظ ذلك . فأنا أعمل مع الذكاء الاصطناعي كثيراً.
بدلاً من ذلك، سأشير إلى أخطاء محرر الذكاء الاصطناعي لديك ، وما يجب عليك إصلاحه. مع ذلك، ستظل أنت المحرر النهائي لمحرر الذكاء الاصطناعي.
2. كما هو موضح في العنوان، أنا أحكم بناءً على البداية.
إذا لم تجذبني بدايتك، فسأقولها.
ربما يُسهم ذلك في تسويق قصتك، وربما لا. الأمر متروك لك.
3. الموضوعية؟ سأحاول، ولكن ليس بالطريقة التي تظنها.
سأعتبر نفسي قارئاً عادياً لا يكترث لجهدك .
لأن هذا ما يمثله معظم القراء.
4. الحكم على القصة؟ ليس حقاً.
سأخبرك فقط ما إذا كان ذلك سيجعلني أرغب في مواصلة القراءة أم لا.
لن أحكم على قصتك بشكل كامل بعد أن اطلعت على بضعة فصول فقط. سيكون ذلك هراءً.
5. ممنوع كتابة القصص الخيالية.
عذراً، لقد تخطيت:
- بناء العالم
- إنشاء القصص
- إنشاء الشخصيات
...واستعرت كل شيء من بعض حقوق الملكية الفكرية الشهيرة لتسهيل ظهور عملك الأول.
بالنسبة لي، هذا أسوأ من هراء الذكاء الاصطناعي لأنه لا يزال مسموحاً به.
6. وقت الاستجابة؟
عندما أشعر بذلك.
أنا مشغول أيضاً بكتابة مقالاتي الخاصة وتقييم الناس في المنتدى.
7. هل أنت قلق من أن يتم تصنيفك على أنك ذكاء اصطناعي رديء؟
راسلني على الخاص. سأرسل لك الملاحظات بشكل خاص أيضاً.
English is not my first language, and while I understand it, I'm not yet at a level to write a full novel. I write in my native tongue and use a specific translation prompt from a trusted source to move it into English. I supervise every sentence. If the AI changes a concept or a vibe, I step in and fix it. I don’t use AI for fluff or to farm words. Every idea, plot point, and character beat is mine. The AI is just my translator.
I started this as a fan of anime and production with a dream to create my own work. I began with zero experience, learning through the act of writing itself. After 78 chapters, I’ve realized how much I’ve grown-to the point where I almost wished I had waited to start. But I’m committed to finishing this as my first true forge. I recently wrote Chapter 0 (Prologue) specifically to help readers endure the protagonist's initial extreme weakness in the early chapters.
I’ve spent countless hours visualizing the world of Orvalis and its lore. It's a 100% original world built from my imagination.
It’s a tale of revenge. Prince Ken was stripped of his name and throne, and now he’s back to overturn the table. I know the revenge trope might seem overused, but I didn’t even know it was a trope when I first dreamt of this story. I’m relying on my own creativity to make it feel fresh and personal.
I’m not worried about being called cliche or unoriginal in a world full of rising stories. My only fear is that the work won't even get a fair chance because of the language barrier or my lack of experience. This is my first step into the world of novels, and I’m doing it with no safety net.
Take your time. Whether it’s a public roast or a private DM, I am ready for the truth.
Thank you, from a fellow beginner.
The Prince's Rise from the Shadows.
in Webnovel , Royal road, and first chapters in scribble hub
Attachments
20250906_1748_Crown in Shadows_remix_01k4fmczzee4c92ay000cc1p3v (1).png
English is not my first language, and while I understand it, I'm not yet at a level to write a full novel. I write in my native tongue and use a specific translation prompt from a trusted source to move it into English. I supervise every sentence. If the AI changes a concept or a vibe, I step in and fix it. I don’t use AI for fluff or to farm words. Every idea, plot point, and character beat is mine. The AI is just my translator.
I started this as a fan of anime and production with a dream to create my own work. I began with zero experience, learning through the act of writing itself. After 78 chapters, I’ve realized how much I’ve grown-to the point where I almost wished I had waited to start. But I’m committed to finishing this as my first true forge. I recently wrote Chapter 0 (Prologue) specifically to help readers endure the protagonist's initial extreme weakness in the early chapters.
I’ve spent countless hours visualizing the world of Orvalis and its lore. It's a 100% original world built from my imagination.
It’s a tale of revenge. Prince Ken was stripped of his name and throne, and now he’s back to overturn the table. I know the revenge trope might seem overused, but I didn’t even know it was a trope when I first dreamt of this story. I’m relying on my own creativity to make it feel fresh and personal.
I’m not worried about being called cliche or unoriginal in a world full of rising stories. My only fear is that the work won't even get a fair chance because of the language barrier or my lack of experience. This is my first step into the world of novels, and I’m doing it with no safety net.
Take your time. Whether it’s a public roast or a private DM, I am ready for the truth.
Thank you, from a fellow beginner.
The Prince's Rise from the Shadows.
in Webnovel , Royal road, and first chapters in scribble hub
My sweet, dear, little sister, Lina, was having her eighteenth birthday, and my family, who I thought were normal, average, everyday people, turned out to be the direct bloodline of modern age gods, and for some reason, they'd chosen my sister as their new Dark Lord; An insane, emotionally...
www.scribblehub.com
Prepare yourself for something insane and horrible! lol muahahaha
1. Cover: I'd really want to say your cover feels outdated. But when i saw the comic label price, i was "Ah, that's the concept. Old comic book. Neat!" Dunno if it works for other people tho.
2. Synopsis:
My sweet, dear, little sister, Lina, was having her eighteenth birthday, and my family, who I thought were normal, average, everyday people, turned out to be the direct bloodline of modern age gods, and for some reason, they'd chosen my sister as their new Dark Lord; An insane, emotionally fragile, horny, brat, that, turns out, wants ME to be her new Demon Overlord and... Wife? Huh?! ..Things have quickly begun to spiral out of control.
I'm thinking maybe its better to give some emphasis and repositioning to make it punchier. Maybe like this ? :
My sweet, dear, little sister, Lina, was having her eighteenth birthday, and my family, who I thought were normal, average, everyday people, turned out to be the direct bloodline of modern age gods, and for some reason, they'd chosen my sister as their new Dark Lord!
Things have quickly begun to spiral out of control. An insane, emotionally fragile, horny, brat, that, turns out, wants ME to be her new Demon Overlord and... Wife? Huh?!
I'm actually laughing seeing you have more warning signs rather than your own synopsis. My take is keep it! it makes people curious, however its better if you tweak it to sound less desperate and more playful, more under your control. Example:
There are plenty of lewd scenes spaced, and far apart; S*x, lesbianism, incest, and this and that and all the forbidden things that came on your mind? Oh yes, its here. If you are hesitant about any of these themes. I'm very sorry, this isn't the book for you.
My overall impression seeing your front page was: What the hell did this girl do??? (Hook accomplished. Unintendedly)
3. Early Story:
Hmmm its... a bit too hard to describe with words... Ok lets try this to describe how i feel on early chapters:
Chapter 1: Muhehehehe, yes that's it. *press next chapter.
Chapter 2: Oh? ok cool
Chapter 3: WHAT?!! Ew!
I'm scared after chap 3. Ok storywise, I need to learn with something more vanilla before able to continue reading. But im guessing for your target audience, they're fine to continue. (Although i highly wondering what the heck did you write later on to make those notoriously deranged SH readers furious?)
4. Assuming you use AI:
- Recommend to delete the ";" its now becoming AI watermark without any good function. Can be easily replaced with . or , or even one word such as "but" , "and", or "then" etc.
- Need to check your paragraph density. At chapter 1 still fine. At the beginning of chap 2 is too sparringly. At chapter 3 its "mamma mia what a load of words" on one paragraph. If you use sageGPT, try limit to 300-400 words for every command. Otherwise it became stupid.
Last recommendation: I dont know what you want to do with this novel. It has good exposure on its journey, yes. But too much backlash also. Its really in a weird positioning. But here's the thing,
1. Check at what chapters you lose most readers, and put warning sign at the beginning of the chapters (dont know if you had done this or not), and ask yourself how much is it worth it? do i need to tone it down a bit? or maybe, ah f*ck it. Up to you love.
2. Check your number of views on your latest chapters. Those readers mostly havent give rating, but already on your side. Ask and encourage them to give rating. Lets say with the rewards of bonus chapter, or flashing yourself, or anything. 10 or 15 new ratings should improve your novel a lot. And i think that amount of new rating is still achieveable.
That's all. Love yah girl. Remember this is only a one orc opinion
High schooler Xiao Ling almost loses her life while saving a child, only to awaken with the memories of her past identity as Su Yao, the Nine Tailed Heavenly Fox! Unfortunately, the world remembers her as the vicious Demon Queen from a blockbuster movie currently in theaters. In truth, Su...
www.scribblehub.com
High schooler Xiao Ling + the world remembers her as the vicious Demon Queen + Now trapped in the fragile body of an ordinary teenager + the once dignified immortal must endure her wildly inaccurate reputation
Oh, important question for you two @ThirstyWater & @S__Aether before i read yours (gonna be tomorrow tho)
1. Did you use your own language and ask AI to translate or, use english as best as you can and ask ai to help fixing it? (i think aether already explain this)
2. On scale 1-5, how good is your understanding on reading english?
1. Cover: I'd really want to say your cover feels outdated. But when i saw the comic label price, i was "Ah, that's the concept. Old comic book. Neat!" Dunno if it works for other people tho.
2. Synopsis:
My sweet, dear, little sister, Lina, was having her eighteenth birthday, and my family, who I thought were normal, average, everyday people, turned out to be the direct bloodline of modern age gods, and for some reason, they'd chosen my sister as their new Dark Lord; An insane, emotionally fragile, horny, brat, that, turns out, wants ME to be her new Demon Overlord and... Wife? Huh?! ..Things have quickly begun to spiral out of control.
I'm thinking maybe its better to give some emphasis and repositioning to make it punchier. Maybe like this ? :
My sweet, dear, little sister, Lina, was having her eighteenth birthday, and my family, who I thought were normal, average, everyday people, turned out to be the direct bloodline of modern age gods, and for some reason, they'd chosen my sister as their new Dark Lord!
Things have quickly begun to spiral out of control. An insane, emotionally fragile, horny, brat, that, turns out, wants ME to be her new Demon Overlord and... Wife? Huh?!
I'm actually laughing seeing you have more warning signs rather than your own synopsis. My take is keep it! it makes people curious, however its better if you tweak it to sound less desperate and more playful, more under your control. Example:
There are plenty of lewd scenes spaced, and far apart; S*x, lesbianism, incest, and this and that and all the forbidden things that came on your mind? Oh yes, its here. If you are hesitant about any of these themes. I'm very sorry, this isn't the book for you.
My overall impression seeing your front page was: What the hell did this girl do??? (Hook accomplished. Unintendedly)
3. Early Story:
Hmmm its... a bit too hard to describe with words... Ok lets try this to describe how i feel on early chapters:
Chapter 1: Muhehehehe, yes that's it. *press next chapter.
Chapter 2: Oh? ok cool
Chapter 3: WHAT?!! Ew!
I'm scared after chap 3. Ok storywise, I need to learn with something more vanilla before able to continue reading. But im guessing for your target audience, they're fine to continue. (Although i highly wondering what the heck did you write later on to make those notoriously deranged SH readers furious?)
4. AI wise:
- Recommend to delete the ";" its now becoming AI watermark without any good function. Can be easily replaced with . or , or even one word such as "but" , "and", or "then" etc.
- Need to check your paragraph density. At chapter 1 still fine. At the beginning of chap 2 is too sparringly. At chapter 3 its "mamma mia what a load of words" on one paragraph. If you use sageGPT, try limit to 300-400 words for every command. Otherwise it became stupid.
Last recommendation: I dont know what you want to do with this novel. It has good exposure on its journey, yes. But too much backlash also. Its really in a weird positioning. But here's the thing,
1. Check at what chapters you lose most readers, and put warning sign at the beginning of the chapters (dont know if you had done this or not), and ask yourself how much is it worth it? do i need to tone it down a bit? or maybe, ah f*ck it. Up to you love.
2. Check your number of views on your latest chapters. Those readers mostly havent give rating, but already on your side. Ask and encourage them to give rating. Lets say with the rewards of bonus chapter, or flashing yourself, or anything. 10 or 15 new ratings should improve your novel a lot. And i think that amount of new rating is still achieveable.
That's all. Love yah girl. Remember this is only a one orc opinion
WHOA WAIT HOLY YOU READ 3 CHAPTERS??? lol I'm shocked. most people give up after the first, xD thank you so much for going so far. You're amazing. I was not expecting. lol. I love you too, boss. SO much!
(going from your numbering)
1. Cover: You totally nailed it. lol it is more old school style art. but i just wanted to draw it on my own, and after a few hours I'd just posted it instead of giving it any more rendering. I also had to shrink it in size for it to be uploadable to SH, and shrinking it got rid of a lot of detail... so spending MORE time on more detail felt pointless.
2. Synopsis: I do need to change it. lol it is old. and it was my first book uploading here. I definitely did not think it would get as much traction as it did. TBH. although yea.. the backlash was.. INSANE.. so i dropped a lot of warnings to deter people from reading, rather than wanting people to read. lmao so yea. desperate is a word I'd agree with, just more desperate for people to stop getting angry when there's clearly labels that say horrible things.
3: early story: I originally redid chapter 1 and 2, that's why it reads better, but also because that's where most people left anyway. chapter 3+ moving forward are all unedited. and yes. be afraid. be very afraid of the pages following. lmao
4: Ai: I haven't used ai in any of my works. writing or editing or otherwise. this is just the way i write. Writing in general i need to think and edit as i write, leaving me with lots of commas, and semicolons in places where I pause, or.. need to think. That's just the way i write. But I can see how it comes off that way. I prefer " ; " because i fell in love with the sentence that just doesn't end, but makes perfect sense; Even when it doesn't truly need it; like a half pause; not a full pause. lol
lastly part: OH 100% I agree. i need to rewrite the whole damn thing; Make it more digestible, better readable, and tone down/up certain parts with less, and more information simultaneously. lol
Thank you for your loving orc opinion, boss. I'm incredibly happy. :D
Oh, important question for you two @ThirstyWater & @S__Aether before i read yours (gonna be tomorrow tho)
1. Did you use your own language and ask AI to translate or, use english as best as you can and ask ai to help fixing it? (i think aether already explain this)
2. On scale 1-5, how good is your understanding on reading english?
1.i think I did something like Aether, first off I write in my mother language and translate it into English, after that I edit the text if I notice that certain phrases don’t match my original intent, or if the translation changes the concept or the atmosphere that I want.
And for some scenes, I also rewrite parts of the paragraphs to adjust the rhythm, including adding staccato-style sentences ( but I think I over used it) Sometimes the tools that I used translated everything into standard narrative paragraphs, so I edit them again to better match the tone I’m aiming for.
2. And how good my understanding English. For reading only I think 4.5/5, I can read book or story in English without to much problem . For speaking, I think its around 3/5.
Oh, important question for you two @ThirstyWater & @S__Aether before i read yours (gonna be tomorrow tho)
1. Did you use your own language and ask AI to translate or, use english as best as you can and ask ai to help fixing it? (i think aether already explain this)
2. On scale 1-5, how good is your understanding on reading english?
As I mentioned, I write in my native language and use AI to translate, then I step in to edit and refine the concepts. I’d say I’m a 3 out of 5 . I understand English well, but when it comes to writing a full novel, it’s still a challenge—though I’m improving every day.
and for the synopsis what should be improved?
www.scribblehub.com
