Recent content by Vanny

lol. It’s the third chapter. The rest of the chapters are up on site

Casey walked the pool’s stone edge. He felt its coolness on his bare feet. He then planted himself, readied his stance, drew in a deep breath from the drafty air. He exhaled, and released a frozen storm. It whistled through the fence’s pikes and into the tall grass beyond the yard. The air...

Well, if anyone’s interested, here’s the complete first chapter. Chapter 1 Joshua and Casey drove through the end of Barritarie, now heading onto a rough quarry road. This part of Old Providence had less order. “I wonder what your old man found?” “He didn’t say. He won’t even send me a...

I see your point. I’ll probably have to include some stuff in the synopsis when I post it here in a couple months. Thanks a lot for the feedback

Okay so I’m a returning author. I’ve been away from writing for about 7 years. I’ve recently started a new book, and I’ll only post it after completing it. Can someone give feedback on chapter one? The Great Sphere Chapter 1 They drove through Barritarie and made their way along a rough quarry...

None. But the plots written, in my head.

I was experimenting with a new style months ago. I usually don't write like that so editing it was very difficult. And, in the end, I've rewritten, or taken out chapters, to move forward in a more recognizeable fashion to myself. Compounded onto the fact is, I've written all of it on my phone...

The firdt scene takes place in his mother's car. I explained it by him getting his luggage from the trunk and the tail light fading at the end. Admittedly, I should've just said where the scenes where taking place. I'll go back and adjust it. As for the what. They are journeying to stalking...

On the topic of the vague descriptions early on, none of those places will be revisited. The people were more important to introduce, and where those people were going. I'll go back and add the character descriptions, for the more visual reader, they would've been given later. I'll tone down...

Thanks. But could you tell me the chapter that ypu noticed the problem of the setting descroption? I thpight the scenery was done well enoungh. I'll go back and add the character descriptions, for the readers who prefer them.

I've written this story on and off for months now, and I'd like know what a reader thinks of it. It hasn't gotten to the fight, as of yet, so you'll mostly be judging the writting and plot. https://www.scribblehub.com/read/33287-word-wise/chapter/90947/

When something like a conversation, explaination happen's long enough that environment becomes forgotten.

Dude, I liked it. It's probably the only story I'm interested in on site. And on second thought, after reading it, I'll check other people's work from now on. You are a good writer. You character is beleiveable, and unique. Whatever you've noticed to help you create him, you should lean into...

Way of Choices, Snafu, and Coiling Dragon had me waiting like an addict.

Try Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom, and Black Lagoon. They don't fit exactly what your looking for, but you might enjoy them.