Recent content by Lufli

Keep in mind, I read this chapter, knowing that a test would come. Edit: I'm curious, are you going to post this as a chapter or is it really just an experiment?

I'm new to drawing but I'll try to stay resilient with my boxes ?. I really like dynamic art with crazy perspective, so that's what I'm trying to learn.

Wow. How did you get into drawing? Did you draw boxes :D or did you draw wahtever you liked to?

"It's just me, myself and I." No, seriously, I believe every story differes from another as the author writing them is a different one. If you would tell two Authors to follow the exact same plot with the exact same characters, even then, the stories would be different based on the writing...

Are you German, perhaps?

Here are some thoughts that popped up as I read your chapter: Okay, some guy in an apartment must be middle-aged (that's what my head said, so it must be right). I can't really imagine what his apartment looks like--won't matter probably. I also can't imagine what our MC looks like, missed...

Thanks a lot for the encouragement. I'll keep working on that balance and check out your work for inspiration. Regards. :)

Thank you very much for taking the time to write all of this down. I'll see what I can do about it. I definitely don't want the reader to feel emotionally disconnected from the MC. My approach was that Ly is still disoriented, thus not fully aware of his emotions. Accordingly, I wanted to...

Your boss doesn't really feel tough. You did a good job describing his appearance but I don't really feel his 'presence', primarily because you tell me to feel a certain way, where you should instead show me and let me do the rest. For example, instead of saying: "And then he felt it, a...

Hello kind people. I've been writing in my free time for a few months, but I'm fairly bad at taking a step back and putting off the glasses of the author while editing. Accordingly, it really isn't that easy for me to judge how well this opening would work, if published. Note that this is not...

Doesn't seem interesting to me. What you are promising (at least that's how I felt reading the synopsis) is a bland MC, going around, killing people just to be evil. Still, these types of stories surely have an audience, but it isn't really an original concept. If you feel good about it, then...

Thank you very much, @Eldoria. Great help, as usual.

Greetings, comrades. I'm currently training my writing skills, specifically focusing on first chapters and hooks. I would love to get some feedback on the opening of this story. All feedback is welcome, but I'm especially interested in whether the emotional tension between the siblings lands...

Thank you all for answering. This helps.

Hellow people. My first chapter is 3.3k words long, and I'm concerned it doesn't work because the "hook" is pretty much at the end. What rules of thumb do you follow for opening chapters?