Recent content by goth_dropping_in

From the bottom of the OP: You are trying to get me to read a whole novel. Sir, this is a first chapter read thread.

I'll stick you on the end of the queue and do you at a later time along with any other returnees, but if you're willing to wait around for that to happen then sure.

Oh, this is wickedly sharp. I love your premise, I love the details you work in regarding how women are treated in this society, and the setting feels real enough to capture my interest while functioning as a biting satire. You're an author after my own heart, and I wish you well; you show...

Your whole prologue is a promise of a story and not a story. Cut it, it's not worth including; it doesn't characterize Elliot strongly imo and it doesn't give me much setting or action to chew on. Skipping ahead to chapter two... Fine, sure, implications, but these chapters are tiny. You need...

*waves* Harem/GL author here. I write it because I'm polyamorous & have an open relationship in real life, and most of my characters are either expies of pieces of me or smushed together blends of my IRL girlfriends/sex-friends with original stuff mixed in for originality. I think a lot of...

Honestly, I don't have a good argument against it except "it turned me off the work a little." Likely this is simply because it's unconventional. You don't have to change it, but it disrupted my reading experience and I feel you'd see more readers without it.

Stats and ranking. Someone had to say it. That sweet sweet satisfaction of knowing someone enjoyed my work enough to reading list it or read it, even if they didn't leave a comment. Not gonna make #1 in my tags if I stop writing, now am I? I'm competitive at heart. Mind you, that can be its...

Thanks for the feedback thread; I've been doing one of my own so someone else to share the load is super appreciated. I know the thread's already (inevitably) buried in posts, but I noticed that you said you were willing to review any genre. That is unusual in my experience. If and only if...

This kind of mil-fic is not really my genre - it always seems too over-wrought and machismo-saturated - and as such, I bounced off this fairly quickly for those exact features, which I suppose are just part of the genre. Use quotation marks for speech, not em dashes. Overall it's fine, just not...

I won't critique deeper than three chapters (for workload reasons primarily, if I crit your first 10 I have to crit everyone's first 10), but if you rewrite the first three significantly I'd be willing to take a look at their revision.

I read both chapters that exist. It functions, but I'm left feeling kind of like I've eaten a loaf of bread with no toppings, if you get the gist of what I'm saying. It's fine, it's functional, it just feels kind of empty because I've read so much of this kind of fantasy fare and this one...

Thank you! Braved this one after I got a solid no from my author friend who's more into horror. You build tension and dread well during the service, but have no payoff in chapter one for either scares or sex. I think you're wedged in a hard place, because suspense takes time to build, but...

Stylish, but I feel like you haven't illustrated the protagonist's dark side enough to make me feel like he has darkness in him as well as light. You save the cat, but in trying to present a 'neutral' protagonist, it doesn't quite work. Still, I like what you're doing. Your writing feels clear...

I like your opening. You have the rare prologue I would advise against cutting; seeing the smug isekai hero from his own perspective helps to drive in how much of a jerk he is and make him hate-able. From that hook, the second perspective falls a little flat because your prince character seems...

weird author's note at the start but okay Your writing feels kind of shaky tone-wise; your character voices feel contemporary while your setting feels old. You have squishy third-person point of view - it feels like head hopping rather than like you have a third person observing the action from...