Recent content by Cananga

Dear child, keep your story and your chapter structured. Your structure feels messy. Keep the skeleton simple, you can flesh it out later. And try to use a reliable structure like three act structure or kishotenketsu to easily pinpoint the important events. And this is just a wild guess. If...

Linguistically it is good. Feels like it written by someone who passed essay writing course. In term of literature it was also nice. It started of with a bang and gave a distance goal to look at, to find the sister. Though the start feels very slow and you have to waddle through thick narrative...

Linguistically speaking: My gosh, the punctuation need some works. A dot indicate a sentence is over, with the idea already contained in that sentence. Putting too many dots between a single idea is like putting too many speed bumps on a single road. You only slowing your readers trains of...

I want to say that some sentences can be combined but it's already covered by other comment. I personally think that the characters introduction could be gentler. The readers did not know any of the characters yet and being bombarded by many names in first chapters felt a little bit confusing...