Search results

Dear child, keep your story and your chapter structured. Your structure feels messy. Keep the skeleton simple, you can flesh it out later. And try to use a reliable structure like three act structure or kishotenketsu to easily pinpoint the important events. And this is just a wild guess. If...

Linguistically it is good. Feels like it written by someone who passed essay writing course. In term of literature it was also nice. It started of with a bang and gave a distance goal to look at, to find the sister. Though the start feels very slow and you have to waddle through thick narrative...

Linguistically speaking: My gosh, the punctuation need some works. A dot indicate a sentence is over, with the idea already contained in that sentence. Putting too many dots between a single idea is like putting too many speed bumps on a single road. You only slowing your readers trains of...

I want to say that some sentences can be combined but it's already covered by other comment. I personally think that the characters introduction could be gentler. The readers did not know any of the characters yet and being bombarded by many names in first chapters felt a little bit confusing...