What kind of things are unforgivable?

[minacia]

This was something that I was thinking about.

Once upon a time, you had a friend.​

​

But then they did something unforgivable.​

​

You instantly stop being friends with them, and decide that you'll never forgive them for the rest of your life.​

1. What did they do?

2. In your opinion, what kind of things are unforgivable?

3. Do you believe if everyone should have a chance at forgiveness? Or should some people/things never be forgiven?

4. Are you relatively forgiving or unforgiving?

 

[Deleted member 29316]

1). Betraying me, I guess?
2). Destroying a child's life/potential.
3). Rape should never be forgiven.
4). I'm quick to forgive. That's why I had difficulty in answering No. 1

 

[Cossimeri]

1. What did they do?
1. From a real life example, a male friend of mine attempted to take advantage of me when I was recovering from illness and not able to consent. Luckily he didn't get far in his attempt, but I was quite done with him after that. Other than that most of the times I stop being friends with someone it is a culmination of things, instead of one event.

2. In your opinion, what kind of things are unforgivable?
Any non-consensual act, murder (that is not in self-defense).

3. Do you believe if everyone should have a chance at forgiveness? Or should some people/things never be forgiven?
A chance at forgiveness? I think poetically I'd say yes everyone should have a chance. However realistically forgiving people for abhorrent acts just invites them to do more abhorrent acts. Very few people are ever capable of truly repenting for their actions. They regret they got caught, they don't regret what they did. Forgiving them is just setting yourself up to be a victim again.

4. Are you relatively forgiving or unforgiving?
Below a certain threshold of awful, I'd say I'm one of the most forgiving people I know. However I have realistic standards, and I'm not about to forgive someone for something absolutely terrible. The people you've forgiven and allowed to remain in your life are the biggest threat to your personal wellbeing.

 

[CrusadeAgainstFurries]

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha

You should forgive people for your own sake since negative emotions over a long period of time are unhealthy. This doesn't mean that you get friends with them again so that they can betray you again - just act wisely and don't let other's bad actions consume your happiness and health.

 

[Piisfun]

Use of mind control, specifically total enslavement of both mind and body.

Being a god and treating "lesser" intelligent life as little more than toys. (the occasional prank is fine)

.
I would be willing to forgive just about anything else, provided they make it clear that they truly have learned from their mistakes and will never do it again.

 

[AdLeto]

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha

You should forgive people for your own sake since negative emotions over a long period of time are unhealthy. This doesn't mean that you get friends with them again so that they can betray you again - just act wisely and don't let other's bad actions consume your happiness and health.

Namaste

 

[OkuraTsukiko]

1) They took advantage of me instead of being real friends, breaking trust is the worst
2) Controlling someone's life in everything they do. Their life is their own, not yours
3) Maybe, but idk
4) Well I tend to forget, but I tend to forgive easily. I rarely got angry irl tbh

 

[UYScuti]

Number 1 has too many possibilities.

2 & 3 Someone will forgive them I’m sure. And there are plenty of things that I can look at and say are unforgivable. A lot has to do with whether it happened to me or a complete stranger.

4. If it’s something to that level, that I need to worry about should I forgive that person, I just cut the person from my life if possible and move on. Some people you have to deal with, like family, the ex you had a kid with etc. But others that continue to be toxic, you should move on from them.

 

[NotYourTypicalMan]

When my bois do hoes before bros, is the time when I took off my ventilator on my mouth and wear a Crusade Attire with my mighty and trusty rod.

 

[ThrillingHuman]

This was something that I was thinking about.

Once upon a time, you had a friend.​

​

But then they did something unforgivable.​

​

You instantly stop being friends with them, and decide that you'll never forgive them for the rest of your life.​

1. What did they do?

2. In your opinion, what kind of things are unforgivable?

3. Do you believe if everyone should have a chance at forgiveness? Or should some people/things never be forgiven?

4. Are you relatively forgiving or unforgiving?

1) trying to swindle me of money or smth? Or some other action that would classify them as immediately untrustworthy. Friendship is built on trust and it dies with that trust accordingly (or at least that's how I see it)
2) anything can probably be forgiven, as long as there's a sufficiently good excuse for doing that. I wouldn't blame a pedophile as long as they were diagnosed with some mental disorder that would put them in the ranks of those who are not eligible to take care of themselves or making their own decisions during their crime, I would blame those who didn't stop the pedophile instead. Same can be said for anything else really.
3) I am not in the position to say. If they don't have a good enough excuse, they probably shouldn't be forgiven.
4) Probably the latter.

 

[Alienix]

I forgive people who will definitely change for better regardless of their sins toward me or people I love.

 

[AryaX]

2. One needs to be around and conscious, etc. to "forgive" or whatever... can't do so if you've been killed or put in permanent coma, and might not be able to if you've suffered debilitating brain damage or such... so, causing such things could be considered "unforgivable", at least in the sense that the victims them selves, certainly can't "forgive", regardless of what the word forgive means...

4. I don't know how "forgiving" I am, as I don't really know the meaning of the word, but I certainly condone, excuse, and especially forget lots of things...

 

[Mephi]

1+2 Rape and torture are my big unforgivables, along with mass murder. Just about anything else could be justifiable, in theory. At least in theory - major crimes acting out of malice or greed that hurt others is a bit harder to classify, and needs a case by case judgement. Separating children from parents and locking them in cages out of cruelty is unforgivable, imho.

3 In theory, everyone deserves redemption. In practice, there are some real evil people out there that aren't interested.

4 In general, I'm all for live and let live.

 

[minacia]

Admittedly, I’m very sheltered but...

I’m not quite sure if I landed on something that is unforgivable (for me, that is)... so far...

I think for me, to two big things that I think about is whether (A) I can understand why somebody did it, and (B) whether I think they have a capacity to change.

If both are false, I tend to think they are “hopeless”, but I’m loathe to use the term “unforgivable” for some reason. It’s more like I think it’s a pity?