Maple-Leaf
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- Jun 4, 2020
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hmm....
im probably gonna have to delete what i have so far and start all over then ?
hmm....
im probably gonna have to delete what i have so far and start all over then ?
'-'Tho I'm no expert, I've recently started reading published books and watched several helpful vids on youtube. From that, my writing has changed drastically.
So, my advice would be describe something without making it too complicated. Many authors have the bad habit of using purple prose; dont do this. Remember that you are not writing a text book, or a beautiful poem. You are essentially conveying the story to your readers. There's nothing better for that than what your readers understand easily and create a picture in their minds. In fact, using simple words that are more common is better cuz u wont lose your readers and they wont have to go look it up on google every time.
Also, some more advice I can give regarding writing, that I've come to learn, would be: dont use passive voice, change it to active, all of them; dont use filters, like 'he felt, he saw, he knew, he realized, he decided etc.'; dont use adverbs where its not needed, like quickly, softly, fairly, etc., instead use stronger verbs; dont use sudden(ly); dont use 'just'; dont use 'somehow, almost, rather, seem, definitely, somewhat'; dont use redundant phrases like, final outcome etc; and finally, the dialogue tags -- dont use fancy words for every dialogues. In fact, dont use anything for the most part. If you have to use something, use 'said'. Also, differentiate between action tags and dialogue tags.
Well, that is it. I'm pretty sure many authors already knew of all this. I've also come to learn of all this and am still learning and getting better.
My tip would be write what your eyes are drawn to. If you're watching a film/TV series/anime, what do you notice first in a fight scene?Recently I've been looking back through one of my stories and I just feel like there's an element missing. I don't know if it's because I don't have enough detail in my fight scenes, or I'm bad at describing scenery, or what my characters look like, but it's like the flare that usually makes good stories come alive isn't there in mine.
I'm heavily inspired by light novels like Re:Zero, when I read them I can feel myself getting immersed into those worlds and it pretty much feels like I'm there. But with my own work it just...doesn't translate from my head to the page.
Does anyone have any advice? Like are there certain terms I should use that would make my work feel more immersive? If you have any tips PLEASE help me out
Your first point. Purple prose doesnt matter if its a dialogue. For dialogues, you can do whatever you want. But they have to stay inside the "". As for whats purple prose, its overly flowery or complicated words just to make it sound more 'smart' or more 'apt'. Its a distraction for the readers, not a good experience. As a writer, you should make it easier for readers to paint the picture, what u're doing does opposite. Of course, if your intention is to simply write what you wish, then please ignore this part.'-'
What if you are writing a character who enjoys expressing their knowledge of vocabulary because they think it shows their superiority over others?
What if what's considered purple prose (has no idea what that is) is how some people talk normally in everyday life?
What's a dialogue tag?
What's an action tag?
What if you're writing the story just because you enjoy writing, and you want to express your love of language through the words you use? I don't know about others, however I feel annoyed if all I see for dialogue is:
'He said, "X."
She said, "Y."
He said, "X."
She said, "Y."'
I prefer variety:
"He asked, "X?"
She responded, "Y."
Laughing, he joked, "X."
Blushing, she turned away and muttered in an undertone, "Y..."'
Please note that this is just my opinion and I'm not having a go. My earlier questions were purely genuine and not pejorative in any way.
As for the original poster...
My tip would be write what your eyes are drawn to. If you're watching a film/TV series/anime, what do you notice first in a fight scene?
Also, for your story what do you want the combat to feel like? Do you want it to be like in Naruto where they talk for ages while fighting? Or something similar to the text being over in a matter of seconds?
I suggest that you make that choice before writing it, otherwise it'll result in a mish-mash of both that can feel clumsy and uninteresting. I think @Farok mentioned some useful points on being both concise and eloquent while keeping the balance just right. You want readers to see the picture but you don't want to clutter their mental vision with redundant imagery.
I think something to consider while doing an action scene are several things:
If outside, what's the temperature/weather like? This can set the mood of the environment as well as help provide a background.
What's the location, if not already mentioned?
Are there any distinctive scents appearing during the combat?
Any distinctive sounds caused by the combat?
Any consequences of their actions on the environment?
An example of these considerations could give you something like this:
As the two men walked through the woods, a cool summer's breeze brushed through their hair as the leaves on the trees gave their applause for the coming combat. After approaching a clearing, they halted. Standing on opposite sides, they glared at each other with eyes full of malice and hatred.
"You not gonna back down?" The taller of the men aggressively inquired as he jutted his jaw out.
The other man scrunched his face, "You wish. Hannah is mine!" then charged with heated vigor.
The air rapidly permeated with the stench of sweat as the two men exerted their all in a petty fight over a woman. A kick aimed for the groin followed by a pained grunt; an elbow to the neck in retaliation resulting in choked coughing. The familiar scent of iron wafted between them as a deep crimson flowed from their frontal orifices. This was not an honourable fight but a squabble, yet...they were both willing to give it their all for the one they loved - even if it meant becoming a mutilated meat sack in the process.
[Disclaimer: I'm also terrible at combat scenes.]
>w<
X
*tilts head*Your first point. Purple prose doesnt matter if its a dialogue. For dialogues, you can do whatever you want. But they have to stay inside the "". As for whats purple prose, its overly flowery or complicated words just to make it sound more 'smart' or more 'apt'. Its a distraction for the readers, not a good experience. As a writer, you should make it easier for readers to paint the picture, what u're doing does opposite. Of course, if your intention is to simply write what you wish, then please ignore this part.
I find excessive use of 'said' quite distracting and frustrating since it causes me to wonder if the writer was just lazy and couldn't be bothered to expand on their vocabulary. It makes me think of a child recounting their experiences to an adult or another child.Next, dialogue tags are just as they say, He said, She said, He replied, etc. But you probably already know that since your next point is about them. And as I said if you simply enjoy writing, then does it really matter. Just keep doing what you're doing and you're good. But if you want to improve it to become more readable, the you gotta change that. Apart from 'said', all others are distracting. It distracts readers when they already know whats happening. They dont need the author to tell them that its a reply, or its a response, or a joke or an inquiry. Make that clear with the dialogues. Either dont use anything there, or use 'said'. Since 'said' is the default tag, readers gloss over it, and it just gives them the info who's speaking. I would suggest using this only in situations where there are multiple chars speaking.
Well if it works for you, then good for you I guess. Ignore my points.*tilts head*
I dislike 'basic' language in stories; I find it more distracting, honestly.
I find excessive use of 'said' quite distracting and frustrating since it causes me to wonder if the writer was just lazy and couldn't be bothered to expand on their vocabulary. It makes me think of a child recounting their experiences to an adult or another child.
As for the rest of your post, I'm going to assume your terminology is American, since I had never come across such utterances of tags when studying English Lit. and Eng. Lang. in sixth form - or earlier. Also, it seems that wherever you got your advice from seems to have a low opinion on the intelligence of readers as a whole. You look at successful books and they don't follow the advice you are so adamant is the only way to write. Readers don't fit into one group where one style suits all. Much like there are many genres and authors, there are many types of readers who consume said texts.
In terms of harshness, I just wonder if you were saying my writing is bad, or you were speaking in general terms. With regards to you saying don't hate, why would I hate you for voicing what you believe to be the one true path of writing? I disagree with what you've mentioned but that doesn't equate to hate. Hate is...a very strong word to use in a discussion due to its negative connotations. It conveys a pejorative mood that can unintentionally - or purposely - cause conflict where there was none.
As such, do what you feel comfortable doing, if you believe it is improving your writing. I just personally think there is more than one way to write and still be good.
X
Yo, I wouldn't call myself a professional but I don't consider myself bad either.
For me one of the most important things would be the vocabulary, being able to describe something precisely adds
value, to say that something is beautiful or big is easy, but in my opinion, it is more important to describe why this thing is beautiful.
Recently I started to read Blue Core, and I was very impressed with the level of detail of the story, every important scene is described at length and precisely so that the reader has a perfect mental picture of what is happening.
This is why, in my opinion, vocabulary is very important, although you also have to know when to use it.
Also, I would add that it is sometimes important to take your time during a description, it is perhaps easier or more satisfying to quickly write a description but sometimes taking the time to sit down and think about how to highlight a place can be fruitful.
I don't count the number of times I've spent hours on a single sentence just because it didn't feel right, it only takes one word or a different turn of phrase to make a paragraph whole looks much better.
I hope that was helpful.(Sorry for any mistakes)
Yea, this is really hard for me. I'm not a native English speaker so my vocab is really simple compared to other, more prolific authors out there.
It's not just about the vocab either. It's also about sentence structure and how you can vary them to make things sound more smooth.
And I certainly don't have the patience to think for hours how my sentences should be constructed.
The only thing I can do is to comfort myself with this reasoning. "I'm just writing an isekai web novel. No need for complex, highly artistic descriptive passages. You know how simple their sentence structures are".
If I can write like Dickens, I would.![]()
He walked into the room.
"What are you doing in here?"
"Nothing, I could ask you the same?"
If I were to take Omit Needless Words to it's natural extreme:
People take the rule 'Omit Needless words' to the extreme. Words are more than just their definition. A monotonous dialect occurs without flow. Remove words that don't add substance.
When I write, I feel like I am trying to write the way I'd talk to someone, maybe a bit more idealized in a forum post like this, where I can edit things to fix silly mistakes and I don't stutter or anything.
Though many times when I am writing for my story, I am saying every line, even with narration, it's being written as it would were I to have spoken it. Somehow it feels more natural to me, than to try and dress up everything into some dry perfection?
Fufufu.Many rules that seem unintuitive when written are done automatically when spoken.