Would love views on my work

Nitra_dai

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Mar 21, 2026
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This is my series with a few chapters in it. I would really appreciate if somebody points out issues in my writing. The cover is AI slop. I'm trying to find ways to generate the characters and maybe will provide character images soon.
 

Frankey

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Apr 4, 2026
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Well, I read the first chapter, and I liked how it was written, though I think you should write down which chapter corresponds to which number.
Walking over all the general advice, I feel you wanted to create Berserk without its moral complexity.
I get that it's smut and that the main character is not labeled an anti-hero, he is literally an anti-social guy, but it doesn't feel like the story is saying he is an anti-social guy, it's saying "Look at this guy, he is super cool, and now he needs to bang this hot woman, because he saved her."
Maybe he gets better later on, but I don't know. I don't like the guy already.

I don't know if this was the type of views you would like, but this is what I got for reading it, maybe it was not made for me.
 

Rolanov

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Jan 22, 2026
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Well, I read the first chapter, and I liked how it was written, though I think you should write down which chapter corresponds to which number.
Walking over all the general advice, I feel you wanted to create Berserk without its moral complexity.
I get that it's smut and that the main character is not labeled an anti-hero, he is literally an anti-social guy, but it doesn't feel like the story is saying he is an anti-social guy, it's saying "Look at this guy, he is super cool, and now he needs to bang this hot woman, because he saved her."
Maybe he gets better later on, but I don't know. I don't like the guy already.

I don't know if this was the type of views you would like, but this is what I got for reading it, maybe it was not made for me.
I read the first chapter too, i think its more like The Witcher vibe rather than Berserk.
 

Nitra_dai

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Mar 21, 2026
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Well thanks for the advices. But he gets morally better later on. And especially thank you for pointing out that I should level him anti social as he IS antisocial in some terms
 

Nitra_dai

New member
Joined
Mar 21, 2026
Messages
8
Points
3
Well, I read the first chapter, and I liked how it was written, though I think you should write down which chapter corresponds to which number.
Walking over all the general advice, I feel you wanted to create Berserk without its moral complexity.
I get that it's smut and that the main character is not labeled an anti-hero, he is literally an anti-social guy, but it doesn't feel like the story is saying he is an anti-social guy, it's saying "Look at this guy, he is super cool, and now he needs to bang this hot woman, because he saved her."
Maybe he gets better later on, but I don't know. I don't like the guy already.

I don't know if this was the type of views you would like, but this is what I got for reading it, maybe it was not made for me.
Can you point out places where I can improve or any pacing related issue
I read the first chapter too, i think its more like The Witcher vibe rather than Berserk.
Well, that's spot on. I wanted to keep it witcher vibed. Can you suggest any improvement I can make
 
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