Small ideas

[TooThunder7]

Share your story and ideas.

My story is

title West

I knew,-”. The sun rising as Cip talked. “-You don’t know... No. You never know how someone is inside,-” sigh. The light from the sun bounced off the steel from his badge. The badge shone miles into the endless desert. The sun rose, he held a wheat straw in his mouth. The desert sand twisted as the wind blew. Cip was leaned back against a wooden fence of a horse ring. “-That what I think... thinking.. -sigh- It what I know.” He said, staring up at the rising sun. The horses started to come out of their stock. The town was quiet as morning began. The small town at morning was peaceful, the small breezes, the heat of the sun just right.

this is small part of what I has for the beginning so far.
tell me what you think.

 

[GrotesqueHeaven]

Tbh I would say it's too short to say anything except 2 things:

- I am not English native or anything, but I feel like you have grammar issues. "-That what I think... thinking.. -sigh- It what I know.” Not to discourage you but it was painful to read.
- Formatting. What I mean is, you added '-' at the beginning of all the phrases and it looks odd, at least in m opinion.

Also, just a small thing - the repetitions. "The town was quiet as morning began. The small town at morning was peaceful," Morning and then morning again. Delete the second one, since you have already stated that it's morning.

 

[Rolanov]

Share your story and ideas.

My story is

title West

I knew,-”. The sun rising as Cip talked. “-You don’t know... No. You never know how someone is inside,-” sigh. The light from the sun bounced off the steel from his badge. The badge shone miles into the endless desert. The sun rose, he held a wheat straw in his mouth. The desert sand twisted as the wind blew. Cip was leaned back against a wooden fence of a horse ring. “-That what I think... thinking.. -sigh- It what I know.” He said, staring up at the rising sun. The horses started to come out of their stock. The town was quiet as morning began. The small town at morning was peaceful, the small breezes, the heat of the sun just right.

this is small part of what I has for the beginning so far.
tell me what you think.

What's the plot?

 

[TooThunder7]

What's the plot?

I don’t have the exact plot, but overall it follows cowboys with curses weapons. it set in a world with demons and angels and is overall supernatural their are also curses horses.

Tbh I would say it's too short to say anything except 2 things:

- I am not English native or anything, but I feel like you have grammar issues. "-That what I think... thinking.. -sigh- It what I know.” Not to discourage you but it was painful to read.
- Formatting. What I mean is, you added '-' at the beginning of all the phrases and it looks odd, at least in m opinion.

Also, just a small thing - the repetitions. "The town was quiet as morning began. The small town at morning was peaceful," Morning and then morning again. Delete the second one, since you have already stated that it's morning.

I reworked it, hope it better.


“I knew Joseph”. He said watching the sun rise. The man talking was Clip. “I don’t know what happened that day”. He sighs. The light from the sun bounced off the steel from his badge. The badge shone miles into the endless desert. The sun rose, he held a wheat straw in his mouth. The desert sand twisted as the wind blew. Clip was lean back against a wooden fence of a horse ring, there was no horse out. “He the worst man that ever walk the earth” Clip said.

The small town Dust Hike was alway quiet in the morning. The horses started to come out of their stock.

 

[Rolanov]

I don’t have the exact plot, but overall it follows cowboys with curses weapons. it set in a world with demons and angels and is overall supernatural their are also curses horses.

I reworked it, hope it better.


“I knew Joseph”. He said watching the sun rise. The man talking was Clip. “I don’t know what happened that day”. He sighs. The light from the sun bounced off the steel from his badge. The badge shone miles into the endless desert. The sun rose, he held a wheat straw in his mouth. The desert sand twisted as the wind blew. Clip was lean back against a wooden fence of a horse ring, there was no horse out. “He the worst man that ever walk the earth” Clip said.

The small town Dust Hike was alway quiet in the morning. The horses started to come out of their stock.

i don't mean to be blunt, but it will be hard if you don't have exact plot yet, and to make it worse you had grammar issues.

 

[TooThunder7]

i don't mean to be blunt, but it will be hard if you don't have exact plot yet, and to make it worse you had grammar issues.

I know who the story follows and I have the story
outlined and what going to happened. And I know the main character and their storylines.