Thoughts on the false religion I created (In my story)

[MakBow]

So, in the mystery novel, I created this religion/cult for my mystery novel, and I want you to tell me what you think of it:

The religions centers around Himvrael, a god that is nothing more than a fake god created for the mastermind to use it as a beacon for supernatural power and those who follow this god believe they will be saved, that by worshipping it and following their bible, they will reach salvation, which requires constant prayer, bettering yourself through their bible, but treating all who do not believe as sub-human, their bible even saying that killing those who disrespect is justified in their name, that those who do not believe SHOULD be tortured as pain allows them to build faith.

The idea is simple...these people have bettered their lives in this religion/cult, but they will hurt and even kill others for their God who says its right, which isn't even real, which they aren't aware of.

Think I should add some things?

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Well, for starters...you'll inviting sh*tstorm with this thread. You know how militant some users here are about religion.

Second, this is generic religion practice for stories that wanted to show how gullible most peeps are and how cruelly manipulating are the religious leaders. It's not a bad thing if that is your plan.

 

[MakBow]

Well, for starters...you'll inviting sh*tstorm with this thread. You know how militant some users here are about religion.

Second, this is generic religion practice for stories that wanted to show how gullible most peeps are and how cruelly manipulating are the religious leaders. It's not a bad thing if that is your plan.

Well, are they really gullible if supernatural things do happen, just be done by the leader who causes these events using his supernatural powers to help them and frame it as the God doing it, all for the sake of his own power. (He's not a good person, of course)

Most generic ones just have these cults being evil and knowing they stuff they do it evil but all for their god or they just do good and only that, just with this, they do not believe they are in the wrong, they believe they are good, not that this bad act is for the greater good, but genuinely it is a act of good.

Oh, and it's only one religious leader who controls everyone through a hivemind he created, so even more he strips individually for collective thought, which is why once people enter, it is impossible to leave for the most part.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Well, are they really gullible if supernatural things do happen, just be done by the leader who causes these events using his supernatural powers to help them and frame it as the God doing it, all for the sake of his own power. (He's not a good person, of course)

Most generic ones just have these cults being evil and knowing they stuff they do it evil but all for their god or they just do good and only that, just with this, they do not believe they are in the wrong, they believe they are good, not that this bad act is for the greater good, but genuinely it is a act of good.

Oh, and it's only one religious leader who controls everyone through a hivemind he created, so even more he strips individually for collective thought, which is why once people enter, it is impossible to leave for the most part.

Still, the premise follows same formula as other stories aiming for the same goal of showing religious people and leaders as bad. Anyway, any organization can go bad once the leaders are corrupted and their followers, radicalized.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying this is bad. I'm just stating my opinion that it's the usual stuff we read from similarly-themed works.

 

[MakBow]

Still, the premise follows same formula as other stories aiming for the same goal of showing religious people and leaders as bad. Anyway, any organization can go bad once the leaders are corrupted and their followers, radicalized.

Well, I'm not really trying to say religious leaders are bad.
At least I hope people don't get that idea.
I just feel a cult is perfect for the setting I've set up

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Well, I'm not really trying to say religious leaders are bad.
At least I hope people don't get that idea.

Eh...about that, I don't think you're successful in these parts, mainly because the usual depicts them all the same, even the ones with good intentions. The ending for them is always bad, and readers tend to form an expectation after reading one, two, and eventually, more similar works.

Hence, I thought you also made the leaders look bad. But prolly this will be different in your execution.

I just feel a cult is perfect for the setting I've set up

Then go for it. Tis your vision for the story anyway.

 

[Robert.Hillmyre]

So, in the mystery novel, I created this religion/cult for my mystery novel, and I want you to tell me what you think of it:

The religions centers around Himvrael, a god that is nothing more than a fake god created for the mastermind to use it as a beacon for supernatural power and those who follow this god believe they will be saved, that by worshipping it and following their bible, they will reach salvation, which requires constant prayer, bettering yourself through their bible, but treating all who do not believe as sub-human, their bible even saying that killing those who disrespect is justified in their name, that those who do not believe SHOULD be tortured as pain allows them to build faith.

The idea is simple...these people have bettered their lives in this religion/cult, but they will hurt and even kill others for their God who says its right, which isn't even real, which they aren't aware of.

Think I should add some things?

At face value your religion sounds like the Borg mixed with radical Islam. Might not be what you we going for, but just saying ppl might be offended. Not me. But some ppl. You can also just disregard this completely lol. Have a good day!!

 

[Th3Breadnought]

So to clarify, when people worship the false god Himvarael, they're unwittingly fueling the powers of the "mastermind" with their faith and prayers? Prayer laundering, if you will?

 

[Tetrahedron]

So, in the mystery novel, I created this religion/cult for my mystery novel, and I want you to tell me what you think of it:

The religions centers around Himvrael, a god that is nothing more than a fake god created for the mastermind to use it as a beacon for supernatural power and those who follow this god believe they will be saved, that by worshipping it and following their bible, they will reach salvation, which requires constant prayer, bettering yourself through their bible, but treating all who do not believe as sub-human, their bible even saying that killing those who disrespect is justified in their name, that those who do not believe SHOULD be tortured as pain allows them to build faith.

The idea is simple...these people have bettered their lives in this religion/cult, but they will hurt and even kill others for their God who says its right, which isn't even real, which they aren't aware of.

Think I should add some things?

what's this, Westboro Baptist Church?

 

[NotaNuffian]

So, in the mystery novel, I created this religion/cult for my mystery novel, and I want you to tell me what you think of it:

The religions centers around Himvrael, a god that is nothing more than a fake god created for the mastermind to use it as a beacon for supernatural power and those who follow this god believe they will be saved, that by worshipping it and following their bible, they will reach salvation, which requires constant prayer, bettering yourself through their bible, but treating all who do not believe as sub-human, their bible even saying that killing those who disrespect is justified in their name, that those who do not believe SHOULD be tortured as pain allows them to build faith.

The idea is simple...these people have bettered their lives in this religion/cult, but they will hurt and even kill others for their God who says its right, which isn't even real, which they aren't aware of.

Think I should add some things?

This is just generic *insert a religion that you think is the problem here* thing.

It feels cookie cutter.

It's fine though, just don't do crazy things and make the religious symbol that of our world.

 

[greyblob]

read Beyond Redemption

 

[Joyager2]

I think that this is a perfectly fine idea. That said, as others have pointed out, it feels somewhat generic. A good way to avoid this is to make sure the religion central to the story feels grounded in real worship and approaches to faith. It’s a complicated subject that many people overlook when developing fantasy religions. I’d encourage the use of this basic but very helpful guide when developing the core tenets of the faith you’re making.

That said, I do want to touch on this idea here:

Well, I'm not really trying to say religious leaders are bad.
At least I hope people don't get that idea.
I just feel a cult is perfect for the setting I've set up

All stories have themes. They all have something to say, even if you don’t intend to make them say anything, and often they can say things you’re not trying to say. The way you portray this faith, its leaders, its practitioners, the kinds of prayers and metaphysical understandings involved, and so on and so on should be very carefully considered if you want to avoid making broad statements about religion (or a specific faith) generally.

Obviously, if you don’t intend to say anything at all about religious leaders, you likely won’t have a strong, coherent message throughout, meaning that it would take a especially critical or bad faith interpretation of your work to highlight one, but that’s also not great writing. I don’t have much to say about this regarding your idea (since it’s still an idea for now), but it’s worth considering as you go forward. Food for thought.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

It sounds like an exaggerated version of many major religions from the BCE era (and a few of the dumber offshoots of the more modern faiths TODAY). As long as you either give it the name of a "dead" religion or make absolutely sure that you do not use or mock an existing, active Faith in your text, I say go for it.

 

[MakBow]

I think that this is a perfectly fine idea. That said, as others have pointed out, it feels somewhat generic. A good way to avoid this is to make sure the religion central to the story feels grounded in real worship and approaches to faith. It’s a complicated subject that many people overlook when developing fantasy religions. I’d encourage the use of this basic but very helpful guide when developing the core tenets of the faith you’re making.

That said, I do want to touch on this idea here:

All stories have themes. They all have something to say, even if you don’t intend to make them say anything, and often they can say things you’re not trying to say. The way you portray this faith, its leaders, its practitioners, the kinds of prayers and metaphysical understandings involved, and so on and so on should be very carefully considered if you want to avoid making broad statements about religion (or a specific faith) generally.

Obviously, if you don’t intend to say anything at all about religious leaders, you likely won’t have a strong, coherent message throughout, meaning that it would take a especially critical or bad faith interpretation of your work to highlight one, but that’s also not great writing. I don’t have much to say about this regarding your idea (since it’s still an idea for now), but it’s worth considering as you go forward. Food for thought.

Well, there is a theme.

It's more so not about the leaders, but more so the religion itself and how, in truth, humanity will never understand their universe as the true gods are amoral to their situation and how in the end, humanity has used religion for cope and control.

So, there is something to be said just not about religious leaders since there will be Lovecraftian gods

 

[laccoff_mawning]

Yup. Feels very generic.

I'd suggest you start having the cult sacrifice babies on altars to remove the sins of the congregation, or maybe some sort of frequent summoning rituals to bring some sort of monster into the world if you want something slightly less dark.

 

[Joyager2]

Well, there is a theme.

It's more so not about the leaders, but more so the religion itself and how, in truth, humanity will never understand their universe as the true gods are amoral to their situation and how in the end, humanity has used religion for cope and control.

So, there is something to be said just not about religious leaders since there will be Lovecraftian gods

Certainly, and I didn't mean to imply that you wouldn't have an intentional thematic undertone to your work. What I meant to say was more along the lines of the second half of what you admit yourself: that this kind of framing, where religion is explicitly a tool of control, does imply something about religious leaders, namely that, at the very least, a) many of them are ignorant fools who are high on their own supply and that b) somewhere up the chain, a religious leader knows the truth and has chosen to manipulate it anyway for their own gain. How you frame the religion that you create is therefore really important, so as to avoid making specific parallels to specific religions if you want to avoid appearing to be writing a critique of a specific religion.

I think a really good example text for this situation is Dune, which critiques religion broadly as a tool of control and oppression by depicting a religion that, even within the text, has been developed for the purpose of control. But Herbert sidesteps the plodding, heavy-handed approach that many new authors take by also presenting the faith that's used to control the Fremen as something that gives them a distinct culture, helping them resist their colonial masters (initially, at first, until it destroys them in the great jihad). And while a critique of your average priest of cleric is not on the table, his depiction of Fremen religious leaders and Bene Gesserit Reverend Mothers highlights both points a and b that I mentioned earlier.

All this to say that it's extremely difficult to present religion generally as something insidious without presenting religious leaders (people who both participate and perpetuate it) as insidious themselves.

I also feel like I'm shadowboxing with things you're not saying at this point, which may be the case. Sorry if it is. Either way, Dune's a cool book that you should read and would definitely help you out when it comes to writing this.