Opening Scene

[MakBow]

How powerful or good do you think this opening scene is?

Context
SLAM!
CRASH!
In the room of a young lad who had begun to throw himself around his room, grabbing at his own face like an animal who had been infected by rabies, screaming in utter agony.
“GIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
He screamed, his shout echoing across the halls of the apartment, awakening everyone who had been asleep, throwing open the doors in a fit.
“What the hell is going on in there!?” A skinny man shouted, his hair unkempt and clothes dirty. In anger, he marched over to the door, banging on it in frustration as the screams continued.
The young man continued to scream, grabbing the dresser to lift himself as he looked in the mirror, his eyes bloodshot red, leaking blood as his pupils multiplied like cell division. His body began to contort, his arm twisted and broken, his teeth sharpening and growing, his intensities shrinking and leaking.
He dropped and convulsed on the floor, his shaking like a violent drum to the ground, alerting even those below of his state, who grabbed their kids, fearing the worst.
“Hey! The hell’s going on in there?” The man tried to open the door, but the doorknob had gotten too hot, giving him 2nd degree burns. “Shit!” he cried, pulling his hand away.
As the young man was turning into something inhuman, crying, begging for release, something descended, something faint, yet holy, something pure in its form yet impossible to make out.
Even when he was unable to think or even speak properly, he knew exactly what it was, desperately dragging himself to the dresser, slamming it with his deformed hand to drop a piece of paper and a quill.
He then grabbed the quill and began writing with his own blood as fast as he could, as the whiteness descended to his forehead, striking him gently just before he could finish his message.
He then went limp; his humanity being restored slowly as his once monstrous form disappeared.
BANG!
The door was slammed open, and the man laid his gaze on the unconscious body of the young lad. Everyone else outside the door also gazed at the young man, some believing he was dead, others thinking he was infected.
“What the hell? Hey! Get someone to check on him!”
...
(Chapter Stuff After)

 

[Eldoria]

Well, this is a pretty good opening for a prologue. You immediately build tension right from the start with a character having a seizure. That's quite engaging for me as a causal reader... I wonder what happens to that character?

 

[Fairemont]

Its pretty intense.

Much better than someone waking up and going about their day type of openings.

 

[c37]

How powerful or good do you think this opening scene is?

Context
SLAM!
CRASH!
In the room of a young lad who had begun to throw himself around his room, grabbing at his own face like an animal who had been infected by rabies, screaming in utter agony.
“GIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
He screamed, his shout echoing across the halls of the apartment, awakening everyone who had been asleep, throwing open the doors in a fit.
“What the hell is going on in there!?” A skinny man shouted, his hair unkempt and clothes dirty. In anger, he marched over to the door, banging on it in frustration as the screams continued.
The young man continued to scream, grabbing the dresser to lift himself as he looked in the mirror, his eyes bloodshot red, leaking blood as his pupils multiplied like cell division. His body began to contort, his arm twisted and broken, his teeth sharpening and growing, his intensities shrinking and leaking.
He dropped and convulsed on the floor, his shaking like a violent drum to the ground, alerting even those below of his state, who grabbed their kids, fearing the worst.
“Hey! The hell’s going on in there?” The man tried to open the door, but the doorknob had gotten too hot, giving him 2nd degree burns. “Shit!” he cried, pulling his hand away.
As the young man was turning into something inhuman, crying, begging for release, something descended, something faint, yet holy, something pure in its form yet impossible to make out.
Even when he was unable to think or even speak properly, he knew exactly what it was, desperately dragging himself to the dresser, slamming it with his deformed hand to drop a piece of paper and a quill.
He then grabbed the quill and began writing with his own blood as fast as he could, as the whiteness descended to his forehead, striking him gently just before he could finish his message.
He then went limp; his humanity being restored slowly as his once monstrous form disappeared.
BANG!
The door was slammed open, and the man laid his gaze on the unconscious body of the young lad. Everyone else outside the door also gazed at the young man, some believing he was dead, others thinking he was infected.
“What the hell? Hey! Get someone to check on him!”
...
(Chapter Stuff After)

It is a good start for a chapter.

 

[Yusrohemendator]

How powerful or good do you think this opening scene is?

Context
SLAM!
CRASH!
In the room of a young lad who had begun to throw himself around his room, grabbing at his own face like an animal who had been infected by rabies, screaming in utter agony.
“GIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
He screamed, his shout echoing across the halls of the apartment, awakening everyone who had been asleep, throwing open the doors in a fit.
“What the hell is going on in there!?” A skinny man shouted, his hair unkempt and clothes dirty. In anger, he marched over to the door, banging on it in frustration as the screams continued.
The young man continued to scream, grabbing the dresser to lift himself as he looked in the mirror, his eyes bloodshot red, leaking blood as his pupils multiplied like cell division. His body began to contort, his arm twisted and broken, his teeth sharpening and growing, his intensities shrinking and leaking.
He dropped and convulsed on the floor, his shaking like a violent drum to the ground, alerting even those below of his state, who grabbed their kids, fearing the worst.
“Hey! The hell’s going on in there?” The man tried to open the door, but the doorknob had gotten too hot, giving him 2nd degree burns. “Shit!” he cried, pulling his hand away.
As the young man was turning into something inhuman, crying, begging for release, something descended, something faint, yet holy, something pure in its form yet impossible to make out.
Even when he was unable to think or even speak properly, he knew exactly what it was, desperately dragging himself to the dresser, slamming it with his deformed hand to drop a piece of paper and a quill.
He then grabbed the quill and began writing with his own blood as fast as he could, as the whiteness descended to his forehead, striking him gently just before he could finish his message.
He then went limp; his humanity being restored slowly as his once monstrous form disappeared.
BANG!
The door was slammed open, and the man laid his gaze on the unconscious body of the young lad. Everyone else outside the door also gazed at the young man, some believing he was dead, others thinking he was infected.
“What the hell? Hey! Get someone to check on him!”
...
(Chapter Stuff After)

Well, this is amazing for a start and Introduction, it makes me want to continue with the reading. How many chapters have you written?