Writing When is head-hopping head-hopping?

[ArumiCucaTeeth]

I'm still a little confused by what people mean when they talk about head-hopping.

A lot of people give the explanation that "It's too confusing." Maybe I'm lucky and I just haven't seen the worst of it, but I don't think I've ever gotten 'confused' just because a story shifted it's focus from one character to another. Isn't that kinda the point of the third-person? I mean I understand that it's not always the most elegant, but then the extent that some people will go to make sure their perspectives aren't touching, it just seems a little arbitrary.

The only times that it's stood out to me has been if there's a lack of narrative voice in general. She thought this, she said this, he thought this, he said this. When the character's thoughts or motivations are just being tossed out like that, then of course, it's going to feel like the story is being summarized to you instead of being 'told'. B

Okay, so where would you draw the line between Multi-POV, as a trope, and head-hopping, as a writing error?
Does anyone have good examples of any really, really bad culprits?

 

[rileykifer]

Head-hopping, to my understanding, is when you're writing through one character's POV, and then in the middle of the scene, you jump in and tell the story from a different character's POV, and then back to the other character's POV. It's not so much confusing as it is jarring. Typically if you're doing multiple POVs, you'd stick with one character's POV per scene, and have some sort of line break when you're switching. The exception would be if you're writing in third persent omniscient, which I'm not all that familiar with, but I heard is hard to do.

 

[Zinless]

The only real difference between a multi-POV and head hopping is the fact that one is a technique, the other is an error.

Head-hopping is what happens when a story hops to a POV of another character without letting the readers know that it was time to shift perspective.

For example:

A punched B in their stomach, the impact numbing his fist.

B felt the punch to their gut, almost vomiting.

So, the reader, who might be immersed in the head of character A and is imagining the numbness, suddenly needed to shift their immersion to character B to feel the punch. It takes the flow away and sometimes ruins the immersion from then on, meaning readers won't know when or where the author will suddenly prepare another head they need to hop into.

Note: this error doesn't apply to omniscient perspectives.

 

[KennyCelican]

Note: this error doesn't apply to omniscient perspectives.

I dunno about that. But then omniscient perspectives are hard to pull off well, in my experience.

Not impossible, but people are endlessly creative in how they manage to mess things up.

Okay, I am, and there have to be more creative people out there than me, right?

 

[TinaMigarlo]

I've never noticed this myself, but then I read mostly paperbacks. I assume anything like that would have been taken care of by the editor. Now you bring this up, it rather makes sense it could crop up in a self edited work. Starting basic, the most basic. I used to always write in standard third person. I switched several years ago to mainly true first person. I got to like it better. But, my slow build ramp up was noted as problematic. No opening hook. So... the cure there, was a third person short opening chapter. Some action. Then, the abrupt shift to the first person slow build I wanted anyways and i stay in that third person for the rest. And I mean, this is all textbook 101 stuff.

Now that I started doing that (I call it adding a chapter 0, to fix a slow build to work) I *could* see in a longer work. Doing, just once in a while, that same shift to that third person. To say, "check in" on the bad guy, in third person.

So I could see if a person got to doing that too much. Or, say a writer was doing ensemble cast. started doing every chapter round robin, always first person for each character's chapter in turns. That would be a bit much. Or, maybe they mean swapping first person among several characters? Within one long chapter. That would get rough.

you know what? This is where I want @Eldoria here. I call her "the oracle", she's like this living breathing "AI writing concepts" machine. I swear, she quotes long chapters and verses of what sounds like a college creative writing professor lecturing. SHE would solve this, I'm just about sure of it.

I? Summon, the oracle! Appear, and grant us wisdom!

(shit. that sometimes works. is this thing on? *tap*tap*tap*, maybe its the battery)

 

[KennyCelican]

I'm still a little confused by what people mean when they talk about head-hopping.

Okay, so where would you draw the line between Multi-POV, as a trope, and head-hopping, as a writing error?

The two can and often do overlap.

Honestly any time someone shifts perspective within a scene, at least without some kind of obvious chapter or other break, it feels like head hopping to me.

That said, I've written multiple Multi-POV stories, and they almost always get some kind of negative feedback, even when I've gone out of my way to put chapter breaks between POV changes.

Oddly enough, the one where I didn't get any negative feedback was one where I can specifically remember putting a POV shift mid-scene, during a spicy scene no less, with just a *** break between his POV and hers. Then again, that one didn't shift as radically, maybe, or maybe it was the character's narrative voices were different enough it didn't confuse people.

(shit. that sometimes works. is this thing on? *tap*tap*tap*, maybe its the battery)

Don't you hate it when the batteries run out mid-summon?

 

[ArumiCucaTeeth]

Oddly enough, the one where I didn't get any negative feedback was one where I can specifically remember putting a POV shift mid-scene, during a spicy scene no less, with just a *** break between his POV and hers. Then again, that one didn't shift as radically, maybe, or maybe it was the character's narrative voices were different enough it didn't confuse people.

Sounds like exactly the kind of kind of thing where you'd want the freedom to shift perspective. If you're trying to show that two characters are experiencing something together, a one-sided perspective is going to feel disconnected.
Like in the case of film, it's usually in those really tense and intimate scenes that the camera is flipping around the most. In romance scenes; when Boy and Girl need to be gazing into each other's eyes, but the audience also needs to see what they're seeing, you're kind of forced to use those awkward "intrusive" points of view.
I guess, it seems like that's what head-hopping is attempting to do, with a womb window patched in here and there, lol.

 

[ElijahRyne]

I'm still a little confused by what people mean when they talk about head-hopping.

A lot of people give the explanation that "It's too confusing." Maybe I'm lucky and I just haven't seen the worst of it, but I don't think I've ever gotten 'confused' just because a story shifted it's focus from one character to another. Isn't that kinda the point of the third-person? I mean I understand that it's not always the most elegant, but then the extent that some people will go to make sure their perspectives aren't touching, it just seems a little arbitrary.

The only times that it's stood out to me has been if there's a lack of narrative voice in general. She thought this, she said this, he thought this, he said this. When the character's thoughts or motivations are just being tossed out like that, then of course, it's going to feel like the story is being summarized to you instead of being 'told'. B

Okay, so where would you draw the line between Multi-POV, as a trope, and head-hopping, as a writing error?
Does anyone have good examples of any really, really bad culprits?

It is when the perspective you are read shifts mid scene. I think of it as just a technique that when poorly executed can be quite jarring/immersion breaking. That doesn’t mean you can’t use it if you know what you are doing, although use of it is unadvisedle if you don’t know how to to do it or don’t need to do it. If you want a story that does this correctly I recommend reading the Umineko VN.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

Don't you hate it when the batteries run out mid-summon?

i thought i had everything.
buck naked, check.
covered in goat's blood over smeared coyote shit. check.
in my altar. check. (altar to the untrained eye, suspiciously resembles my shower stall)
well laminated print of eldoria's image in my shower, as always. (did i say that out loud? shit!)

uh, yeah. got everything.
had to be the batteries.

oh.

now, there''s a *duh* moment. the "magic wand" doesn't go "bzzzzzzzzz" when the batteries are dead.
pffft.

I'm glad Eldoria doesn't know I'm doing this sh!t, or she'd think I was weird, and would *never* talk to me again.

with a womb window patched in here and there, lol.

why do i just know i'm going to regret this, but.
what is a womb window. (and this better be less of a shock than when i learned the new vocabulary word "futa")

 

[KennyCelican]

why do i just know i'm going to regret this, but.
what is a womb window. (and this better be less of a shock than when i learned the new vocabulary word "futa")

When you look on UrbanDictionary and it doesn't show up, you know it's got to be bad.

 

[ArumiCucaTeeth]

When you look on UrbanDictionary and it doesn't show up, you know it's got to be bad.

to regret this, but.
what is a womb window. (and this better be less of a shock than when i learned the new vocabulary word "futa")

Yikes, I don't want to imagine what you guys must be imagining.
Actually I was just talking about those internal-perspective panels that they use in hentai to show, uh, that they got the job done. I guess maybe that allegory was a reach.
("I need the doctor to take a picture, so I can look at you from inside as well."?)

 

[TinaMigarlo]

Yikes, I don't want to imagine what you guys must be imagining.
Actually I was just talking about those internal-shot panels they use in hentai to show, uh, things you aren't normally able to see. I guess maybe that allegory was a reach.
("I need the doctor to take a picture, so I can look at you from inside as well."?)

yeah.
I think I get the picture.
another vocabulary word I'll have no real use for, most likely.
the internet, gotta love it.

 

[KennyCelican]

Yikes, I don't want to imagine what you guys must be imagining.
Actually I was just talking about those internal-perspective panels that they use in hentai to show, uh, that they got the job done. I guess maybe that allegory was a reach.
("I need the doctor to take a picture, so I can look at you from inside as well."?)

Oh! Okay, yeah, I get it now.
Honestly, while very explicit, also not as bad as some of the stuff I've seen on UD.

 

[Eldoria]

I'm still a little confused by what people mean when they talk about head-hopping.

A lot of people give the explanation that "It's too confusing." Maybe I'm lucky and I just haven't seen the worst of it, but I don't think I've ever gotten 'confused' just because a story shifted it's focus from one character to another. Isn't that kinda the point of the third-person? I mean I understand that it's not always the most elegant, but then the extent that some people will go to make sure their perspectives aren't touching, it just seems a little arbitrary.

The only times that it's stood out to me has been if there's a lack of narrative voice in general. She thought this, she said this, he thought this, he said this. When the character's thoughts or motivations are just being tossed out like that, then of course, it's going to feel like the story is being summarized to you instead of being 'told'. B

Okay, so where would you draw the line between Multi-POV, as a trope, and head-hopping, as a writing error?
Does anyone have good examples of any really, really bad culprits?

Well, when the reader is confused about which character is speaking in a scene, that is a sign of head hopping, a sudden shift in POV without transition, making it difficult for the reader to identify who is speaking, thinking, and feeling.

Head hopping generally occurs due to poor narrative structure. Chapters with giant paragraphs involving many characters in one scene are very susceptible to head hopping. Some things you can do to prevent head hopping include:

(1) Avoid writing many characters in 1 long paragraph.

(2) Provide a smooth transition to change POV. You can use filter words such as "He saw...", "He thought...", "He muttered...", "He felt...", "He said...", etc., before narrating the POV of the related character.

(3) Use relevant character identification tags in the form of name tags or character identity tags as character markers. So, the reader can identify who the character is speaking.

(4) Divide the narrative into blocks. Each block, ideally, only represents one scene carried out by a character, whether in the form of action, dialogue, and emotion.

So what is the difference between multiple POV and head hopping?

Head-hopping is a narrative writing error that makes it difficult for readers to identify who is speaking.

Meanwhile, multiple POV is a narrative that uses multiple character perspectives.

A scene can have multiple characters, and be seen from various POVs, as is common in omniscient third POV.

However, when a narrative with multiple POV is poorly written, for example, placing many characters' dialogue within a giant paragraph, it is likely that readers will experience confusion and lose focus in recognizing who is speaking. That's when head-hopping occurs.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Head-hopping can be done well - there was a movie called Fallen that showcased a brilliant take on it.
But it is a bit of a trap, especially for novice writers - easy to get distracted, or get lazy or just forget your audience does not have direct access to YOUR thoughts and may not always be able to make sense of the jumps, or at least not in time to continue reading the scene.

 

[Ai-chan]

Ai-chan read head-hopping as head-chopping and eagerly read on to see whose head is being chopped. Imagine Ai-chan's disappointment that it's just talking about changing POVs. Never heard of this term before.

But if it's just about changing POV, why would it be confusing? It's normal for third person POV. You just need to be clear of who is speaking.