Competitive straightforward biased blunt reviewer here

[SenseiHusky]

Alr, giving it a read.

You expect me to read the beginning, right?

Okay.

Ok

 

[Nolff]

Thanks! I'll wait for your blunt and biased feedback

Sure, sir masochist ogre.

Ok

Bro, I already dissed ya

 

[SenseiHusky]

Yes, and fucking no.

Will do, pal.

Color besides the object. C+O. A singular drop of dark blood. Fix the wording.

Present tense to describe third-person groups/individuals doing something in the present time. 'Meanwhile, a group of masked militants takes out rifles from a duffel bag stained with blood.' Same as before.

Who the fuck is this supposed to be, the young man?! You repeated the exposition, twice! WHY???

Rephraseable, and also the second now is unnecessary. Some comas are better off being dots and the texts would connect with each other. 'In a damaged commercial area, a place where bodies lie, bleeding, an army of soldiers was cheering a man. A man who was once donning a tuxedo, a clean shaved hair. Now... He was different.

Misspelled 'Viscious'. Great. Unnecessary 'which was', textbook learner. And what's with the double dots?? You don't know what that's for, do you? This is better rephrased, seriously. And add comas where they belong, you dipshit. He wore a white shirt, stained with deep viscious red liquid, has a curly hair, a beard, and holding an axe. An axe that was oozing with blood.

Change this yourself. Stained used twice. My dear textbook learner, where is your thesaurus?

Mixing past tense and present tense is okay. But again, WHAT IS UP WITH THE DOUBLE DOTS???

Rule of A: If there's an 'A', there shouldn't be a plural after it. So in this case, if you use 'A', the word after it will be singular. This is elementary English subject, mind you. My elementary English teacher would love to teach you about it, surely. What is that 's positioning?! And the dang line could've been rephrased better, you know!?. Husky blue eyes reflected a splinter of blood, the result of a brutal killing, falling on his white shirt. The walls red, no more colored white.

Cringe. Even my cringy past self would rather dug a hole and buried himself instead of reading this line. Another thing, why is he saying this out of nowhere?! Could've been delivered better. While smoking a cigar, as the smoke blowed out of his lips, face dripping with blood, he spoke. "They killed my father... I won't kill them. I'll erase them, painting history red with them."

Then learn the grammar, you moron. Get a dictionary, thesaurus, go to free English courses, read tips, and whatever else you can get.

I'm done. Fuck this. This is a curse for my eyes.

Me holding back my bluntness means I am actually interested in the plot. So, if I am interested in the plot, no matter how cliche the idea is, I will come back to read it. I wouldn't rate a story I'll come back to lower than 4.5.
Oh yeah, @Cookiez_N_Potionz. I have only read the first two chaps. Take my review with a grain of salt, because I've warned you of what kind of review I'm doing here.

It isnt viscious it is viscous means thick and sticky; not flowing easily

 

[AliceMoonvale]

Since you stole one of my catchphrases, you're now obligated to read what makes me cringe and free. Because I say so.
Refer to my signature and check out 'This Is How I Lived: Don't Read. It's Mine.'

 

[SenseiHusky]

"Misspelled 'Viscious'. Great. Unnecessary 'which was', textbook learner. And what's with the double dots?? You don't know what that's for, do you? This is better rephrased, seriously. And add comas where they belong, you dipshit. He wore a white shirt, stained with deep viscious red liquid, has a curly hair, a beard, and holding an axe. An axe that was oozing with blood." You dont know the meaning of such a simple word. Bro why are you giving reviews?

 

[L1aei]

"Misspelled 'Viscious'. Great. Unnecessary 'which was', textbook learner. And what's with the double dots?? You don't know what that's for, do you? This is better rephrased, seriously. And add comas where they belong, you dipshit. He wore a white shirt, stained with deep viscious red liquid, has a curly hair, a beard, and holding an axe. An axe that was oozing with blood." You dont know the meaning of such a simple word. Bro why are you giving reviews?

So the title to this thread says this:

Competitive straightforward biased blunt reviewer here​

If I were to go off of that title, I'd say this is all intended to be for fun. So if this isn't your idea of fun, I'd suggest not dipping another toe into the pool if it's affecting you that poorly. Sound like a plan?

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

 

[L1aei]

 

[Nevafrost]

Here-nya

The Truth is Mysterious

The four princesses are trying to solve a mystery together. The path won't be an easy one and they will have to confront so many obstacles. While trying to unravel the mystery, they will meet their destinied partners and some untold truths. However, they will unravel the truth behind all...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Nolff]

"Misspelled 'Viscious'. Great. Unnecessary 'which was', textbook learner. And what's with the double dots?? You don't know what that's for, do you? This is better rephrased, seriously. And add comas where they belong, you dipshit. He wore a white shirt, stained with deep viscious red liquid, has a curly hair, a beard, and holding an axe. An axe that was oozing with blood." You dont know the meaning of such a simple word. Bro why are you giving reviews?

What did I said about going into this thread???

Are you blind or something?

Hey, I have a spare eyeglasses for you if your oh-so-righteous eyes are oblivious to the thread title. Yes, I do wear eyeglasses. And yes, I do have a spare eyeglasses for people with bad eyesight like you. And also, simple words? My brother in writing, I simplified your paragraphs with the same words you used, just in different tenses.

Oh my lord... I cannot believe you're so petty like this.

Since you stole one of my catchphrases, you're now obligated to read what makes me cringe and free. Because I say so.
Refer to my signature and check out 'This Is How I Lived: Don't Read. It's Mine.'

Here-nya

The Truth is Mysterious

The four princesses are trying to solve a mystery together. The path won't be an easy one and they will have to confront so many obstacles. While trying to unravel the mystery, they will meet their destinied partners and some untold truths. However, they will unravel the truth behind all...

www.scribblehub.com

On it, after the ogre guy.

"Misspelled 'Viscious'. Great. Unnecessary 'which was', textbook learner. And what's with the double dots?? You don't know what that's for, do you? This is better rephrased, seriously. And add comas where they belong, you dipshit. He wore a white shirt, stained with deep viscious red liquid, has a curly hair, a beard, and holding an axe. An axe that was oozing with blood." You dont know the meaning of such a simple word. Bro why are you giving reviews?

This mofo is a brick. No, wait, he's too good for that. He's a sub-brick. There we go.

 

[Roeyachi]

I Built A Guild of Monsters To Babysit My Daughter

The God of Death has made a return, not to dominate the world, but to change a diaper. Raiking, once the supreme cultivator capable of obliterating civilizations with a mere thought, has emerged from years of isolation to discover that the only mortal he ever cherished is dead. She left...

www.scribblehub.com

This is a slice-of-life comedy about an overpowered dad who tackles parenting dilemmas with excessive force.

 

[Nolff]

I Built A Guild of Monsters To Babysit My Daughter

The God of Death has made a return, not to dominate the world, but to change a diaper. Raiking, once the supreme cultivator capable of obliterating civilizations with a mere thought, has emerged from years of isolation to discover that the only mortal he ever cherished is dead. She left...

www.scribblehub.com

This is a slice-of-life comedy about an overpowered dad who tackles parenting dilemmas with excessive force.

Got it. Gonna review it soon. Expect answers in about... 3 hours or so. Idk.

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

Jesus, this is a no holds bar kinda thread isn't it...

*Hides own work somewhere safe*

 

[Nolff]

Jesus, this is a no holds bar kinda thread isn't it...

*Hides own work somewhere safe*

Gimme your work

 

[Doctah_Quack]

Nolff here you go, no need to ask her:-

The Deity Entertainment Network

Synopsis John was just an average, everyday old man. He had always worked hard, had a wife, kids, and family. He had lived what most would call a good life. Then one day, at a crosswalk, some kids were not paying attention and tried to cross. A truck was barreling...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Nolff]

Nolff here you go, no need to ask her:- https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1730819/the-deity-entertainment-network

Thanks, Investigator Quack! I truly hired the best of the best.

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

Gimme your work

View attachment 46385

Nolff here you go, no need to ask her:- https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1730819/the-deity-entertainment-network

Fine!

Just know, the difference in my writing from the prologue to Ch +100 has improved greatly... I didn't use Grammarly for the first 60-70 chapters to help clean things up a bit....probably should start slowly going through them and cleaning things up.

 

[Nolff]

Fine!

Just know, the difference in my writing from the prologue to Ch +100 has improved greatly... I didn't use Grammarly for the first 60-70 chapters to help clean things up a bit....probably should start slowly going through them and cleaning things up.

No worries, mate!

Since you're one of the authors whose novels are on my watchlist, I will spare you the bluntness of my review. Because yeah, deity entertainment? You're telling me there's an entertainment that deities use when bored? Sign me the f*ck up.

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

Nolff here you go, no need to ask her:-

The Deity Entertainment Network

Synopsis John was just an average, everyday old man. He had always worked hard, had a wife, kids, and family. He had lived what most would call a good life. Then one day, at a crosswalk, some kids were not paying attention and tried to cross. A truck was barreling...

www.scribblehub.com

Also, this is why ducks and geese are true manifestations of evil!

 

[Conqueror_Quack]

Also, this is why ducks and geese are true manifestations of evil!

Reported for racism, you will soon be banned. Tell the RoyalRoad people who sent you there.