Writing What feedback do you need to improve your narrative?

[Eldoria]

Spoiler: The worst scenario (don't open it!)

Imagine you're writing fiction. You finish 2k words in a day. Then you continue writing again and again... until you're done.

A few years later... you've written 1 million words. You smile, witnessing the fruits of your labor. You might cry while smelling the paper... no, that's an exaggeration. I think... we can still be proud of our work without the smell of ink.

You happily show your work to your friends, colleagues, or even family. Look, I've managed to finish my fiction just the way I wanted it.

"Please read my work."

Your friend smiles, "That's great. Let me read it first."

You reply, "Of course."

Your friend receives your fiction. She focuses on the paper (or phone screen).

Her dark eyes widen. Her lips pout. She flips through the pages. Then she closes the book.

You ask, "What do you think?"

Your friend is silent. Cold sweat drips from her forehead.

She pats you on the shoulder and says, "your fiction may be good in your opinion. But-"

She shakes her head. "I can't read it. My eyes are tired from just reading one page."

"You're amazing... you wrote 9,000 pages. But I can't read it. Sorry."

Your eyes widen. "How is that possible? Is it unreadable?"

"I even remember Errie releasing a black aura to defeat the black dragon in chapter 900?!"

Your friend snorts, "You're an author... I'm just a casual reader. How should I know what you're thinking?"

Your friend pats you on the shoulder and says, "Your fiction might not be suitable for me. Try... give it to someone else."

You don't give up. You hand your fiction to your friends one by one.

But their response is the same. They can't finish a single page.

You might frown, witnessing this cruel reality.

Well, this is just a fictional scenario. But this could happen to any author. The problem?

The authors lack feedback. The narrative might be good for them. But it's not reader-friendly.

My question is, what kind of feedback would you like to improve your narrative?

 

[L1aei]

My question is, what kind of feedback would you like to improve your narrative?

Does it make sense? Was there something I wrote in the scene that I lost you? Are there any points in this chapter that an earlier chapter broke cohesion? I want to know if I missed something because of my writer's bias to my material.

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

Plot holes!

I missed something I thought was obvious until recently, then a new reader pointed it out. I read the chapter again and realized I had indeed missed explaining something, so in chapter 127-ish I filled the gap in...

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Spoiler: The worst scenario (don't open it!)

Imagine you're writing fiction. You finish 2k words in a day. Then you continue writing again and again... until you're done.

A few years later... you've written 1 million words. You smile, witnessing the fruits of your labor. You might cry while smelling the paper... no, that's an exaggeration. I think... we can still be proud of our work without the smell of ink.

You happily show your work to your friends, colleagues, or even family. Look, I've managed to finish my fiction just the way I wanted it.

"Please read my work."

Your friend smiles, "That's great. Let me read it first."

You reply, "Of course."

Your friend receives your fiction. She focuses on the paper (or phone screen).

Her dark eyes widen. Her lips pout. She flips through the pages. Then she closes the book.

You ask, "What do you think?"

Your friend is silent. Cold sweat drips from her forehead.

She pats you on the shoulder and says, "your fiction may be good in your opinion. But-"

She shakes her head. "I can't read it. My eyes are tired from just reading one page."

"You're amazing... you wrote 9,000 pages. But I can't read it. Sorry."

Your eyes widen. "How is that possible? Is it unreadable?"

"I even remember Errie releasing a black aura to defeat the black dragon in chapter 900?!"

Your friend snorts, "You're an author... I'm just a casual reader. How should I know what you're thinking?"

Your friend pats you on the shoulder and says, "Your fiction might not be suitable for me. Try... give it to someone else."

You don't give up. You hand your fiction to your friends one by one.

But their response is the same. They can't finish a single page.

You might frown, witnessing this cruel reality.

Well, this is just a fictional scenario. But this could happen to any author. The problem?

The authors lack feedback. The narrative might be good for them. But it's not reader-friendly.

My question is, what kind of feedback would you like to improve your narrative?

You're talking about my situation right there. lol

Honestly, my friends can't/don't want to read my work for similar reasons, even when I begged them to. Kinda painful, feeling betrayed, though I understand their refusal. But, well, I already did what I've done, and can't do anything about it other than to slowly re-edit stuff. My other option is to give up, and rarely--if ever--recommend my stuff because I know I'm only inviting pain and stress for me.

Now, as for feedback. See, I'm not a native English speaker. I don't know what words to use in writing, but I go by the principle that I avoid redundancy in words. Like, I try to come up with synonyms so I keep away from typing, "she said, he said, this guy said,' and so on. But, I would receive criticism on the choice of words, and I was like, "What the fuck did I write wrong now?"

I don't know what words I should choose.

Another is the confusion about tenses. I did read before that when telling a story, be consistent with tenses, which I find reasonable. However, as most readers prefer past tense, there are sentences I find quite confusing to write. Like, for one example, my character is narrating he is an 'ordinaria' (humans that can't use magic). But since I'm writing in past tense, I wrote "I was an ordinaria," but I didn't mean that he is past behind being an ordinaria, so I don't know if I should write 'I am an ordinaria'. However, there's this part where peeps would say, "Gotcha! You fucking idiot! You're switching tenses!" So yeah, this stuff is confusing me, even after a decade and a half of writing in English.

And last is the 'active' vs 'passive' voices. Again, I'm not a native English speaker, nor did I study writing in school (I did train in reading and literature, but it is in Filipino). I don't know, nor appreciate this part because I was taught that as long as I'm understood, I'm good to go.

Haaa...

Anyway, that's it. I've written 21 books, 400+ chapters and a million and 300k+ words, but I'm aware it is not an English reader's paradise. I'm trying to re-edit my work, nevertheless, I can't be forever stuck in that 'improvement' loop. It's really demoralizing.

 

[Rachel_Leia_Cole]

Looking for moments that might draw a person out of the story. I have that issue, of having no one to share my work with in my personal circle. They acknowledge I’ve done an admirable thing, but people are either like “I don’t like reading,” or fantasy is not their thing. It’s rough trying to build something meaningful when you can’t even get your friends onboard.

 

[Tabula_Rasa]

A flow diagram or mind map.
Breaking down every action and every beat and every element, explaining what works and what doesn't and why.

 

[Eldoria]

You're talking about my situation right there. lol

Dude, I understand your feeling. Any similarities are purely coincidental.

Besides, I'm also rewriting my fiction. If I'd known my narrative flaws from the start... I wouldn't have had to go through the trouble of rewriting tens of chapters to make the narrative more readable.

I guess... that's a author's journey. Lol

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

Dude, I understand your feeling. Any similarities are purely coincidental.

Besides, I'm also rewriting my fiction. If I'd known my narrative flaws from the start... I wouldn't have had to go through the trouble of rewriting tens of chapters to make the narrative more readable.

I guess... that's a author's journey. Lol

As for me, I just write and don't submit my writing for anyone's feedback, even when someone is asking for self-recommendations. I only want to tell a story, and if doing so will give me headaches, I'd rather just write alone.

 

[AstreiaNyx]

I sought harsh feedback when I first started writing. A close friend read my first book and told me the prose was so hard to follow that she had to download a dictionary app just to get through it.

I laughed at first, then thought deeply about it. If a close friend, an avid reader who genuinely wanted to support me, found it difficult, then I had failed. So I revised it again and again. One particular piece of feedback I found extremely useful came from a writer here on SHF, who explained the link between reading grade level and reader enjoyment (around grade 7–9).

I initially approached fiction like a thesis and it was graded at university level. Then I reconsidered and reread popular books, not as a reader but as a writer. Only then did I realise writing does not have to be complex to be good. It has to communicate with readers.

 

[Eldoria]

Only then did I realise writing does not have to be complex to be good. It has to communicate with readers.

I want to save the sentences as a quote. Thanks

 

[Omarfaruq]

Spoiler: The worst scenario (don't open it!)

Imagine you're writing fiction. You finish 2k words in a day. Then you continue writing again and again... until you're done.

A few years later... you've written 1 million words. You smile, witnessing the fruits of your labor. You might cry while smelling the paper... no, that's an exaggeration. I think... we can still be proud of our work without the smell of ink.

You happily show your work to your friends, colleagues, or even family. Look, I've managed to finish my fiction just the way I wanted it.

"Please read my work."

Your friend smiles, "That's great. Let me read it first."

You reply, "Of course."

Your friend receives your fiction. She focuses on the paper (or phone screen).

Her dark eyes widen. Her lips pout. She flips through the pages. Then she closes the book.

You ask, "What do you think?"

Your friend is silent. Cold sweat drips from her forehead.

She pats you on the shoulder and says, "your fiction may be good in your opinion. But-"

She shakes her head. "I can't read it. My eyes are tired from just reading one page."

"You're amazing... you wrote 9,000 pages. But I can't read it. Sorry."

Your eyes widen. "How is that possible? Is it unreadable?"

"I even remember Errie releasing a black aura to defeat the black dragon in chapter 900?!"

Your friend snorts, "You're an author... I'm just a casual reader. How should I know what you're thinking?"

Your friend pats you on the shoulder and says, "Your fiction might not be suitable for me. Try... give it to someone else."

You don't give up. You hand your fiction to your friends one by one.

But their response is the same. They can't finish a single page.

You might frown, witnessing this cruel reality.

Well, this is just a fictional scenario. But this could happen to any author. The problem?

The authors lack feedback. The narrative might be good for them. But it's not reader-friendly.

My question is, what kind of feedback would you like to improve your narrative?

Well, my story is comedy oriented, so there's not much to improve. I just have to watch out for plot holes and repetitive jokes.

 

[Grizzly18]

Honestly I think complaints about passive/active voice are bullish!t. I’ve been told by teachers and professors for years that I write in the passive voice too much but I don’t see the difference.

 

[Eldoria]

my writer's bias to my material

Writer bias is real. It explains why writers repeat the same mistakes even after reading dozens of creative writing books.

 

[L1aei]

Writer bias is real. It explains why writers repeat the same mistakes even after reading dozens of creative writing books.

Absolutely. It sometimes takes me days or weeks later to reread my material and realize my mistake. And that's only because I may have forgotten the whole framing of the novel I wrote, so I'll get lost in some of those points and be capable of fixing it. This is why some authors sit on their works for a whole year or so before publishing anything.

 

[Omarfaruq]

Absolutely. It sometimes takes me days or weeks later to reread my material and realize my mistake. And that's only because I may have forgotten the whole framing of the novel I wrote, so I'll get lost in some of those points and be capable of fixing it. This is why some authors sit on their works for a whole year or so before publishing anything.

I just write whatever I want. I don’t make mistakes often because I do about 100 revisions before publishing a chapter.

 

[L1aei]

I just write whatever I want. I don’t make mistakes often because I do about 100 revisions before publishing a chapter.

Hey, as long as you enjoyed those 100 rides, that's cool man.

 

[Omarfaruq]

Hey, as long as you enjoyed those 100 rides, that's cool man.

Sometimes I can’t stop laughing at how ridiculously funny I write.

 

[Eldoria]

Absolutely. It sometimes takes me days or weeks later to reread my material and realize my mistake. And that's only because I may have forgotten the whole framing of the novel I wrote, so I'll get lost in some of those points and be capable of fixing it. This is why some authors sit on their works for a whole year or so before publishing anything.

This further emphasizes why feedback (from human readers) is necessary. Authors' writing is generally intended for readers. An effective method for measuring how effectively a narrative is perceived by readers is to test it directly with them.

What an author understands isn't necessarily what readers understand. The author has the entire story, but readers only understand the story based on the narrative text provided.

Feedback isn't just about writing good content, but also about effectively comunicate the story to readers.

 

[Nolff]

Spoiler: The worst scenario (don't open it!)

Imagine you're writing fiction. You finish 2k words in a day. Then you continue writing again and again... until you're done.

A few years later... you've written 1 million words. You smile, witnessing the fruits of your labor. You might cry while smelling the paper... no, that's an exaggeration. I think... we can still be proud of our work without the smell of ink.

You happily show your work to your friends, colleagues, or even family. Look, I've managed to finish my fiction just the way I wanted it.

"Please read my work."

Your friend smiles, "That's great. Let me read it first."

You reply, "Of course."

Your friend receives your fiction. She focuses on the paper (or phone screen).

Her dark eyes widen. Her lips pout. She flips through the pages. Then she closes the book.

You ask, "What do you think?"

Your friend is silent. Cold sweat drips from her forehead.

She pats you on the shoulder and says, "your fiction may be good in your opinion. But-"

She shakes her head. "I can't read it. My eyes are tired from just reading one page."

"You're amazing... you wrote 9,000 pages. But I can't read it. Sorry."

Your eyes widen. "How is that possible? Is it unreadable?"

"I even remember Errie releasing a black aura to defeat the black dragon in chapter 900?!"

Your friend snorts, "You're an author... I'm just a casual reader. How should I know what you're thinking?"

Your friend pats you on the shoulder and says, "Your fiction might not be suitable for me. Try... give it to someone else."

You don't give up. You hand your fiction to your friends one by one.

But their response is the same. They can't finish a single page.

You might frown, witnessing this cruel reality.

Well, this is just a fictional scenario. But this could happen to any author. The problem?

The authors lack feedback. The narrative might be good for them. But it's not reader-friendly.

My question is, what kind of feedback would you like to improve your narrative?

I did experienced this back when I first introduced my first fanfic to my english teacher. She appreciated my work, but couldn't quite understand how I make the story plays. And from that experience, I tend to try and re-read my works every single damn time, in case anyone with normal brain can't understand it and edit accordingly. I succeeded. My new original novel (the one on my signature with a guy typing on a holographic laptop) is received by several readers nicely. As in, they send DMs saying I did great. I was happy. For once, I felt like I am actually sharing a story I made with random people I met on the internet.

And this happened for the second time, as my fiction works that I made in Indonesian (my country language) was understood by only a glimpse amount of people. I was down because of it. But then, my senior in fiction works said, "It's not that your work is bad. It's that the readers aren't as clever as you when reading a story and understanding a plot." And that's when I realized I've been giving my works to my friends and close people to me in the form of hard papers. So, he meant... My people is dumb when it comes to this. Oh, that was not expected.

Anyways, that's my experience with this. You'll need feedback as an author. And if you can't get feedback, go to instagram or whatever and look for writing tips, see which words are stronger and which aren't.

 

[Eldoria]

Anyways, that's my experience with this. You'll need feedback as an author.

That's great. Honest feedback is more valuable than mere praise. Praise makes you happy. But honest feedback improves your narrative.