Tempokai scratched his chin, staring at the coffee stain on his frayed sleeve like it held the secrets of the universe. "Existence is just an illusion," he muttered, "but this stain is depressingly real." Across the table, Shiriru_B wagged her tail hard enough to knock over an empty mug. "Wah! Philosophy is boring. Can we get pancakes instead?"
Navillus stretched her arms above her head, her bell collar jingling. "Nyan~ If we're doing breakfast, I call dibs on the salmon omelet!" She flicked her ears toward JayMark, who was currently attempting—and failing—to fold his massive winged bulk into a booth clearly meant for humans. Wood groaned ominously beneath him.
ElijahRyne sighed, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Why are we even at Denny's at 3 AM?" The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting weird shadows under everyone's faces.
AnonJohn20—perched atop a stack of syrup-sticky menus—wiggled its pencil-holder limbs excitedly. "Because chaos magic works best during the witching hour, duh." It produced a glittering wand from god-knows-where, twirling it between stubby fingers.
"Wait, no—" Tempokai's warning came too late. The wand flashed violet, and the air crackled with ozone.
Shiriru_B yelped as her leather jacket suddenly strained across new curves, her tail puffing up like a startled raccoon’s. "WAH?! Why do I feel... extra parts?!" Her face burned crimson as she clamped her thighs together.
Navillus’s ears flattened. "Nyan—what the hell did you—" She froze mid-protest, her whiskers twitching as her skirt tightened uncomfortably. Her tail lashed like a live wire. "Ohhh no. No no no. This is *not* the upgrade I wanted!" She grabbed a napkin dispenser and hurled it at AnonJohn20, who ducked with a gleeful squeak.
JayMark’s wings spasmed, knocking over a sugar caddy. His deep voice cracked. "Uh. Guys. I think my horns just shrunk." He touched his forehead gingerly, then yanked his hand back as if burned when it brushed something lower. His hooves scraped the tile floor as he tried to discreetly cross his legs, face hotter than the griddle in the kitchen.
Tempokai blinked down at himself, his usual existential calm shattered. His threadbare sweater now clung in ways that made him profoundly aware of his own pulse. "This... complicates my theory about the impermanence of form," he croaked, clutching his coffee like a lifeline. The liquid rippled—his hands were shaking.
ElijahRyne made a strangled noise, pressing his—*her*—back against the vinyl booth. "AnonJohn20, reverse this *right now* or I swear I'll—" She flinched as her own voice pitched higher mid-threat, gloved hands flying to her throat. The motion made her newly acquired anatomy shift under her oversized hoodie, and she groaned, slumping forward to thunk her forehead against the table.
Shiriru_B's ears pinned back as she squirmed, tail now tucked between her legs like she could hide the evidence. "Wah... This is *so* unfair," she whined, her usual bravado crumbling. The diner's AC kicked on, sending a chill up her spine—and elsewhere—that made her grit her teeth. "Why’s it gotta be *cold* in here?!"
AnonJohn20 bounced on the table, its pencil limbs clattering against the laminate. "Aww, don’t be shy!" it chirped, wand twirling. "You’re all perfect now! Super cute, super fun—" It leaned in conspiratorially. "And super eligible for my harem~"
The collective disgust hit like a physical force. Navillus’s fur stood on end as she hissed, hackles raised. "NYAN—ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Her claws dug into the cracked vinyl booth, pupils slit thin with rage. "Reverse this now, you walking stationery disaster!"
Tempokai’s fingers twitched toward his coffee like he wanted to throw it, but settled for clutching it tighter instead. His voice came out strangled—half from horror, half from distracting friction of denim against new sensitivities. "Harems are morally dubious constructs built on the commodification of—" He squeaked mid-sermon as Shiriru_B’s elbow jabbed his ribs.
"Wah! Less philosophy, more fixing this!" Shiriru_B barked, her ears flat against her skull. She kicked AnonJohn20’s table-leg hard enough to rattle silverware, then immediately regretted it when the motion jostled something new she had. Her muzzle scrunched. "Ugh, I can feel my heartbeat there now—what kind of sick joke—?!"
JayMark cleared his throat—or tried to. The sound came out weirdly high-pitched, and he winced before trying again. "Listen, uh, AnonJohn. Buddy." His wings twitched nervously. Swallowing hard, he gestured vaguely—and carefully—toward his lower half. "This ain’t right." The fluorescent light caught the sweat beading on his forehead. "I can’t even stand up without—"
Navillus slapped her hands over her pointed ears. "Nyan! No one wants to hear about your bull problems right now!" Her tail lashed, knocking a ketchup bottle onto its side. The sticky red liquid oozed onto the laminate, mirroring the metaphorical blood in her eyes as she glared at AnonJohn20. "Fix. This. Or I’m gonna see how many pencils I can shove up your butt."
AnonJohn20 giggled, its pencil limbs clattering against the table like xylophone mallets on bad cocaine. "Ohhh, you’re all so cute when you’re flustered!" It twirled the wand once more—not to reverse anything, but to sketch a glittery pink portal in midair. "Anyway, smells like someone’s about to cry to management about ‘magical harassment’—whelp, bye~!" With a wiggle of its eraser-shaped butt, it intoxicated backwards through the portal, which snapped shut with a sound like a rubber band popping. The wand clattered to the table, now just a cheap plastic stick coated in melted glitter.
Absolute silence. Even the diner’s humming fridge seemed to hold its breath. Shiriru_B was the first to move—snatching the wand and shaking it like a malfunctioning ketchup bottle. "WAH?! It’s just—empty?!" Her ears drooped as she tossed it aside, where it bounced pathetically off Navillus’s knee. The catgirl’s tail puffed to twice its size, her pupils contracting to furious pinpricks. "NYAN—so we’re just stuck like this?!" Her voice cracked on the last word, claws shredding the napkin she’d grabbed in a futile attempt to cover something. It tore into confetti.
"Yep. Until ElijahRyne changes us back."
But ElijahRyne was feeling his ample chest, "I am currently winning!"
I winnnnnn again.
